Hey mamas! Welcome to the thirty-fifth post in my Honest Birth series! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve featured someone, and I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring my friend Kaylee Jones. Kaylee was one of my sister’s good friends growing up, and I’ve known both her and her husband for almost 15 years! Kaylee and her high school sweetheart-turned-husband Scott have three kids and live in Colorado. Today Kaylee is sharing the birth story of her first boy, who was born just a few months ago during the coronavirus pandemic. If you’re currently pregnant and wondering what birth is going to be like in the middle of all this madness, this is a great story to read!

Read to read her son’s birth story? Here we go!

The Birth Story of Carter Jones

My husband, Scott, and I have two little girls, an 8 year old and an almost 6 year old. We had our little boy 2 months ago. We wanted more children, but because of certain circumstances we hesitated. We prayed often to know when we should plan to try and have more kids. About 2 years ago we received a very clear impression that we were ready. It took us a year of trying before we were able to get pregnant. We hadn’t struggled to get pregnant before, therefore it was a very hard year full of tears, questions, and prayers. We were thrilled when we finally found out we were pregnant in September of 2019. We had no idea about some of the other trials and struggles we would soon face with bringing a baby into the world in 2020 during the worldwide Coronavirus Pandemic.

I had a fairly easy pregnancy, other than dealing with migraines during the 1st trimester and some early contractions, which is normal for me (having had some preterm labor and medications administered with both of my girls to avoid having them too early).

At 28 weeks pregnant, things in the world seemed to be getting crazy. Schools closed and I had to help teach my children as we did remote learning from home. Church was canceled until further notice, and we proceeded to do that from home with just our family as well. My husband, who works as a baker and manager at his father’s restaurant, was not able to work for 6 weeks. Masks were suddenly being worn everywhere and it seemed as if daily things were getting more and more out of hand. This was our life for the rest of the pregnancy and even after our little guy was born.

During this time there were a lot of concerns. Would my husband be allowed in the hospital when our baby was born? Would I have to wear a mask the entire time I was in the hospital, including during labor and delivery? Would it even be safe to have the baby at the hospital? How long would we need to stay away from family and friends once he was here? Will they only be able to see him through a glass door and not hold him? These were just some of the questions that constantly filled me with anxiety during this time. These were questions that never crossed my mind when either of my daughters were born and I couldn’t believe I had to consider them now. There were times I struggled not to let the anxiety become completely debilitating.

On Thursday, May 28th, at 39 weeks, we spent the day getting all our last minute things ready before baby came. We set up the baby monitor, cleaned more thoroughly, got laundry done, and had one last family outing as a family of 4 with a picnic in the park for dinner. We had a feeling that our little boy would be coming soon and spoke to the girls about how that might mean leaving for the hospital in the middle of the night and filled them in on what our plan would be with having their grandparents watch them. Little did we know how quickly that exact plan would be put into action. That very evening my contractions started again. I was up all night and didn’t get any sleep. They were getting more and more painful as the night went on. Finally at 1am I grabbed an apple, turned on “Friends”, and started timing them. They were coming about every 4 minutes and lasted anywhere from 30 seconds to 1 minute. I was worried about going to the hospital only to be sent home, disappointed that we weren’t going to have our baby yet. Finally, just before 3am I called the doctor, told them what was happening and was told to head to the hospital. I woke up my husband and told him it was time. We got our hospital bag, woke up the girls and got them settled with their grandparents. We said our goodbyes to our sweet girls who were wide awake and thrilled. We knew they probably wouldn’t be getting much more sleep that night as they anxiously awaited to hear the news that their baby brother was born.

We got to the hospital and the parking lot was nearly empty. We checked in through the ER entrance where, before we could enter, both of our temperatures were checked and they asked if we had experienced and shortness of breath, coughing, or had been around anyone with COVID-19. When everything checked out okay, they gave us masks and we were allowed inside. My husband was allowed in with me, but was told once in the hospital he would not be allowed to leave and re-enter. We were brought back where they monitored me for an hour to determine if I should stay or be sent home. Before long, it was determined that we would be staying to have our baby, and I was transported to the labor and delivery room. Once in our room we were allowed to take off our masks, although the hospital staff had masks on at all times. We only needed to wear ours when in the hallways, being transported to different rooms. I was so relieved when they informed me that a week earlier they changed protocol and moms didn’t have to wear masks during delivery. There was limited staff and the hospital seemed almost deserted with only one other patient who had their baby that same day.

I got my IV and got all set up, relieved to know that our baby boy would be born soon. We were so excited to meet him. Around 6am, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me an epidural. Now we played the waiting game as my body progressed for baby to come. Although I was progressing pretty well, they decided to help speed it up a bit by administering a small amount of Pitocin. As I was getting close to being dilated to a 10, they turned down the strength of the epidural so I would be able to feel the contractions and push better.

At 1:50pm, the nurses decided it was time to push and had me try before the doctor came in. At the next contraction I started to push and they immediately told me to stop and wait until the doctor arrived. It wasn’t going to take long for him to come. I waiting about 10 minutes before the doctor and nurses were all there and ready. They were completely covered without a bit of exposed skin anywhere. They had two sets of gloves on, a mask, face shield, and gowns. It almost looked like I was having a C-section the way they were dressed and prepared. There was no doubt that they were taking no chances and no risks, but were taking every precaution to keep both us and them healthy and safe.

It was 2pm when they were ready and told me to push on the next contraction. Our little boy was born 4 minutes later. I pushed through one contraction and he was here. I was able to watch the entire time because there was a light right above the hospital bed that was turned off and reflected it all. I had never watched before but there was something so amazing about being able to watch my baby be born. My husband, who is a little squeamish, has never been one to watch or cut the umbilical cords. This time, the doctor asked me if I wanted to, so I was able to cut the cord as well. They immediately put our little boy right on my chest for skin to skin time. He kicked his feet and managed to climb his way onto my face. The nurses were amazed and said they had never seen anything like that before. He was absolutely perfect – born on Friday, May 29, 2020. He weighed 7lbs 13oz and was 19.5 inches long.

Everything went as smoothly as possible. Other than not being allowed any visitors, it was a wonderful experience. We felt very safe and well cared for, and I have had a smooth recovery as well. We didn’t have contact with family or friends for about a month before he was born and almost 2 weeks after. Finally we allowed our immediate family to visit and hold him. While we have been very cautious, it was so incredibly hard not seeing family once we were home.

Despite how long it took us to get pregnant and the chaos that was going on in the world when he was born, I cannot deny the Lord’s timing. Our little boy has brought nothing but calm, peace, and joy at a time when that has been nearly impossible to find. I will always remember this amazing experience and the incredible blessings there were every step of the way.

Wasn’t that so beautiful? Even in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, birth is still such a beautiful thing! Thanks so much to Kaylee for sharing her story on the Honest Birth series! I’m hoping to have some more coronavirus birth stories coming soon, so keep checking back!

The post Honest Birth #35 featuring Kaylee Jones appeared first on Life With My Littles.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I read a lot of books and articles about labor and delivery. I thought I was 100% ready for childbirth and that nothing was going to surprise me. Oh boy, was I wrong! I wish I had read more about what to expect during labor and delivery, because there were a lot of things that nobody had told me about that really caught me off guard!

I thought about things that I wasn’t expecting, and I asked all of my mama friends what things surprised them that they wished they had known about, and I have come up with this big list of what to expect during labor and delivery. This is a great post to read if you’re a first-time mom delivering at the hospital and you have no idea what to expect. This is basically what I would (and did!) tell my sister when she had her first baby!

What to Expect During Labor and Delivery

The mucus plug

Before you go into labor, you lose your mucus plug. It’s basically like a giant booger in your underpants, and it’s gross. It’s a blob of mucus that has been in your cervix to block bacteria from getting in. It’s not a great sign that labor is starting because it can “grow back,” and you may lose it two or three times. But it is a sign that you’re getting close!

The bloody show

The mucus plug is NOT to be confused with the bloody show. THEY ARE DIFFERENT! The bloody show is a better sign that labor is coming, because it means that your cervix is “ripening,” getting ready for childbirth. It shouldn’t be a ton of blood, and you might miss it if you go to the bathroom at night, and it usually happens after you lose your mucus plug.

Diarrhea 

It’s gross, but as your body gets ready for labor, you may get diarrhea, or at least runny poops. As your uterus starts contracting (even if you can’t feel it yet), it irritates your bowel, which makes you poop a lot. So get ready.

Water breaking

Your water doesn’t always break on its own. I know in movies and on TV they always show pregnant women out in public and all of a sudden their water breaks and completely gushes all over and they’re like “time to go to the hospital!” all happy and cheery. Nope. That’s a pretty rare occurrence.

And when it does break, it is WEIRD. It feels like you’re just peeing a ton and it’s all warm and weird, and with each contraction a little more comes out.

Also, if there’s “meconium” in your fluid, that means that your baby has pooped inside and the NICU team will probably have to be there at the delivery to make sure your baby is okay after they’re born.

Checking in

Depending on the hospital you go to, you might have to go to a triage before getting admitted. The hospital I went to with my third baby, I had to go into a triage and get checked there before I was admitted. They were slow and took their sweet time, and I had to be 5cm dilated before they admitted me. The hospital I went to with my first two babies, I was immediately put into a private room where I was monitored.

Getting checked

Several times throughout labor you’ll have to get checked. It’s the same thing as at your OB appointments toward the end of pregnancy where they have you lay down with your knees bent and laying out to the side and they check to see how far dilated and effaced you are. It’s uncomfortable. And it’s even worse when you’re in labor. Just be ready for it.

Monitoring

The way they monitor your baby and your contractions during labor is with two big circle things strapped to your belly. They move around a lot and in my experience, have to be adjusted pretty often. They make it hard to get comfortable, and you obviously can’t get out of bed when they are on.

You can ask to be monitored intermittently, which is what I did with my third labor so I could walk around and help things progress. I just came back to the room every 30 or 45 minutes and they put the monitors on and made sure everything was still good. I much preferred this, but everyone is different!

Getting induced

I was induced with my first and second babies, and both experiences were good for me. However, getting induced can prolong labor, and it can make your contractions even more painful. I know it’s hard to wait until you go into labor naturally, but having been induced and having gone into labor on my own, I recommend trying to wait until your body goes into labor on its own (unless you have a medical reason for getting induced!).

Labor takes a long time

I guess in some situations it can go pretty fast, but in most cases (and especially for first-time moms), it takes a long time. There’s a lot of waiting during labor, and it can be boring. Make sure you have something to do, like a book, a game on your phone, or a movie on your laptop. It can help pass the time and it helps when you’re trying to relax so your body will do its part.

Throwing up

You might throw up during labor. Sometimes it’s because of the pain, and sometimes it’s because of pain medication. But just be warned that it can happen.

The epidural

It is dang hard to sit still for that epidural. You can’t get it until you are dilated past a certain point because it can slow labor down, and usually when you are that far along it’s already pretty painful. And then the anesthesiologist comes in and is like “sit on the edge of the bed and curl your back and don’t move” and you’re like “are you kidding me?” You have to sit there for a while and you’ll probably have a few contractions during the process, and it’s hard to sit still. It’s a little scary, but once you have it in and the medicine is going, it’s magic.

You should also know that if you do get an epidural, you have to get a catheter (basically a tube that continuously drains your bladder) and that feels really uncomfortable when it goes in.

Once you do get the epidural, you will probably have to switch sides and move positions a few times in order for it to balance out and spread evenly on both sides of your body. You’ll need help to do this because your epidural will pretty much make it impossible to move from the waist down.

You might also experience shaking and chills when you get an epidural. My doctor husband told me that this is because the epidural medicine is cold, so when it goes in your body it feels cold and makes you feel cold.

One of my mama friends also told me that you can ask for a partial epidural instead of the full dosage, which if you want to be able to feel a little bit, might be a good option for you.

You can’t eat during labor

Both of the hospitals that my babies were born at didn’t allow women to eat during labor. The only thing they allowed was clear liquids (Sprite, water) and ice chips. I have heard that some hospitals don’t even allow that. And since labor takes a long time, you should probably grab a bite to eat before heading to the hospital, and prepare to be starving after your baby is born.

Your nurse

She will be in and out of your room while you’re there. You’ll probably get a little button you can push to request her to come in. Nurses also change every 12 hours (in my experience), so you might not have the same nurse at delivery as you do when you get checked in.

You might poop

I know this sounds absolutely horrible and so incredibly embarrassing, but it’s actually quite common. I wasn’t able to find a statistic on it, but it happens all the time. Your doctor will have seen it, your nurses will have seen it, and it’s really not a big deal.

I made my husband promise me that he would never tell me if I pooped during labor, and to this day I have no idea. But because your contractions stimulate your bowels, and you use the same muscles to poop as you do to push your baby out, it might happen.

There will be lots of people in the room

One thing that completely caught me off guard with my first baby’s delivery was how many people were in the room when it was go time.

Besides the nurse (probably more than one) and the doctor, there were also medical students, nursing students, and the NICU team. Plus my husband was there. If you have any other family that you want there, they’ll be there, too. It can get crowded real quick. And yes, you are allowed to request no students be in the room if you really care (but speaking as the wife of a doctor, that’s how they learn!).

By the end of labor, you have zero modesty

With everything that goes on (lifting up your gown to fix the monitors, lifting up your gown to get checked, and pushing your baby out) during labor and childbirth, you’ll have zero modesty by the end of it. You probably won’t care about nursing your baby with the nurses and doctors in the room, and you certainly will get used to having people inspect your lady parts. I’m a pretty modest person and I don’t even like nursing in public, but during childbirth, that’s all thrown out the window.

Things don’t always go according to plan

I had a formal, written birth plan with my first baby, and with my second and third babies, I just had an idea in my head of what I wanted my birth to be like. While I do think it’s important to prepare as much as you can and know what kind of childbirth experience you would like, it’s also important to remember that things don’t always go according to plan. Your birth plan may have to be thrown out, so don’t get 100% attached to it.

The #1 most important thing during childbirth is a healthy baby and a healthy mom. That might mean that you have to get an emergency C-section or that even though you wanted to go natural, you end up getting induced and getting an epidural. That’s totally okay. There’s no wrong way to have a baby (whether that’s in the hospital with an epidural or at home in the water with a midwife). Mentally prepare yourself for things not going according to plan.

Along those lines, one of my mama friends recommended learning about natural labor techniques to manage the pain even if you’re planning on getting an epidural, because sometimes you don’t have time to get one and you have to go without!

Stand up for yourself

I love listening to pregnancy and birth podcasts and one thing that I have heard several times is that moms wish they had stood up for themselves during labor. You might have an amazing doctor and amazing nurses who take great care of you and listen to your requests, but you also might end up with the doctor on call who you have never met and who just wants to go home.

There are good and bad doctors and nurses, just like in every profession. If you feel like you aren’t being treated well, stand up for yourself. If your nurse is mega grumpy and rude to you, ask for a different one. Stand up for yourself. You want your baby’s birth to be a good experience!

Pushing

Don’t expect to push through two or three contractions and suddenly have your baby. Most women have to push for a long time before their babies are born. Don’t push until your body is ready (you’ll feel like you need to poop because of the pressure of your baby’s head).

The best advice I can give you is to push like you’re trying to poop. Yes, you might poop, but like I said, it’s not a big deal and that’s common. I have pushed out three babies and every time I’ve pushed using my lower ab muscles like I’m pooping and it has worked great for me.

The ring of fire

Ever hear someone talk about the ring of fire? The ring of fire is when your muscles and skin around your lady parts are stretching as far as they can as your baby’s head comes out. It’s also called crowning. I haven’t felt it since I’ve had epidurals all three times, but I’ve heard it’s incredibly painful and that even with an epidural, you can still feel it sometimes.

Take notes

If you’re planning on writing down your baby’s birth story, take notes. Write down when you start feeling contractions, your emotions, your nurses’ names, when you get checked and how far you are, and anything else you can think of. Labor can be such a blur and at least for me, I can’t remember the little details if I don’t take notes.

Delivering the placenta

It might seem super obvious to some people but I completely forgot about delivering the placenta when my first baby was born. After your baby is born, you have to push again and deliver the placenta. It might be easy, it might be hard.

After my first baby it was easy, but after my second baby, the placenta broke inside of my uterus and the doctor had to scrape it out and push on my stomach to help free it up. That was very painful, even with the epidural I’d had. Hopefully it’s easy for you, but just know that you still have a little work to do after your baby comes out.

Stitches

If you tear at all (I have with all three babies), you’ll probably have to get a few stitches. The doctor will do it right after your baby and placenta are delivered, and the most I’ve ever felt is a little tugging while they did it. Depending on if you get an epidural or not, you might feel more or less.

Meeting your baby

Let your doctor and nurse know if you want to immediately hold your baby and delay weighing and cleaning. If your baby is healthy and there aren’t any concerns, they should let you do skin-to-skin immediately. I wasn’t able to do this with my first baby because there was meconium in my amniotic fluid and they had to make sure he hadn’t ingested it, but I did with my second and third babies and it was magic.

Let them know what you want to do, and don’t be too upset if you can’t immediately hold your baby. Remember, a healthy baby (and healthy mama!) is the most important thing.

Going to the bathroom the first time

When you’re all done and ready to change and get a little cleaned up, your sweet, sweet nurse will help you into the bathroom and she will show you how to take care of yourself postpartum. She’ll help you get some of those nice mesh cotton undies on and help you get the big maxi pads in there. She’ll show you how to gently rinse off after you go to the bathroom and how to use dermoplast spray to help ease the pain. Don’t be shy and let her help you. You’ll feel super awkward, but you need their help, and after you’ll feel so grateful!

Peeing after the catheter

If you got an epidural and had to have a catheter, be warned that peeing after it comes out is hard at first.

Postpartum pooping

It’s also hard to poop postpartum. Make sure you take those laxatives they give you, drink lots of water, and just relax. Try not to push very much.

Postpartum bleeding

You’re basically going to have a heavy period for a week or two, and then lighter bleeding for 2-4 more weeks. Your doctor will tell you 4-6 weeks, but my last one was closer to 7 weeks before I stopped bleeding. DO NOT use a tampon, and just change those maxi pads often.

Squishy stomach

One of the weirdest things after my first was born was how squishy and jello-y my belly was after he was born. It was super weird.

You may not want to shower or get dressed in the hospital

I brought my own clothes and shower stuff to the hospital with all three of my children’s births, but I have not used them once. And that’s totally okay if that’s you.

You may just want to stay in hospital gowns the whole time you’re there and wait to shower until you get home. You also might want to wear your own clothes. Either way, it’s okay. Don’t feel a ton of pressure to look your best. You just had a baby!

Sore boobs

Whether or not you choose to breastfeed, your breasts are going to hurt for a few days as your supply either adjust or dries up. One of my mama friends told me that having cabbage in your fridge to put on your boobs can really help with engorgement!

Having a baby is absolutely crazy. Our bodies are amazing and it’s wild that they can grow a human baby and then push it out and we can get up and walk around so soon after. Hopefully this post was helpful and now you know a little more what to expect during labor and delivery at the hospital! Good luck, mamas!

This post was originally published October 11, 2017.

The post What to Expect During Labor and Delivery appeared first on Life With My Littles.

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I am a list person. I make grocery lists, to-do lists, lists of things I want to buy, lists of things I want to make. I’m a list person. So needless to say, I had a whole big list of things to do before while I was pregnant before my first baby was born.

It was actually super helpful because not only did it keep me busy until he got here, the things I did were things that helped me out once he was born, too. I wasn’t rushing around trying to get addresses for announcements or worrying about little things like what we were going to have for dinner once we got home, because I had prepared before he was born. I was able to stay relaxed and enjoy the time with our new bundle of joy!

This list I’m sharing today has 25 things to do before your baby is born to help make having a newborn easier and more enjoyable for you! These are 25 things that I personally did that you may or may not find helpful. They aren’t in any particular order, and if you have anything else to add, feel free to leave a comment and contribute! (Or check out my post that has 15 more things to do before your baby is born!)

25 Things to Do Before Your Baby is Born

1. Pick a birth announcement

If you live far from family and friends, or if you just want to show off your perfect new baby (who doesn’t want that?), a birth announcement is a great way to introduce your newborn. You can either do something simple yourself by copying something on Pinterest or you can use a photo website with premade layouts (Shutterfly is a great one!).

If you decide what you want before your baby is born, you won’t have to stress about picking a birth announcement after they’re born.

2. Gather and print addresses

If you do decide you want to send out birth announcements, it can be even more stressful to gather all the addresses and figure out who you want to send them to after baby is born.

The solution? Gather them all before! You can compile them all into a Word document with a label template and print them out while you are pregnant so once you get your announcements, you just have to put the sticky labels on the envelopes and pop them in the mailbox.

Plus if you work on it while you are pregnant you can have time to think about who you want to send them to.

3. Get a waterproof bed pad

Not for baby, for you. My husband and I have a nice pillowtop mattress that my parents bought us when we got married, and I was not about to have my water break on it and ruin it. I was very worried that if my water did break in the middle of the night, we would have to leave fast and the amniotic fluid would do some serious damage to our mattress while we were away at the hospital. So instead of being nervous to fall asleep as your due date approaches, invest in something like this waterproof bed pad that you can just put under the sheets on your side of the bed.

And don’t try and be cheap and think you can get one of those plastic drop cloths that you use for painting. I tried that at first and it made way too much noise for me to even be able to fall asleep. Which at that point in your pregnancy you need to try and get as much as you can between the ten bathroom trips each night. And even if your water doesn’t break until you are at the hospital, it’s better to be safe than sorry!

4. Pack your bags

Since you never know when baby is going to come, the sooner the better with this one. You should pack a hospital bag for you, a hospital bag for baby, and if your husband is smart, he will let you pack a little bag for him.

I had my bags packed and sitting by the front door a month before my due date. Yes, I was excited, but I was also prepared!

Here is a list of what I packed in my hospital bag, and here is a list of what I packed in my baby’s hospital bag.

5. Get your carpets cleaned

Now this may not be appropriate for everyone, but living in an apartment that has nasty carpet and weird stains from the previous tenants made me really want to get our carpets cleaned because I knew we were going to be spending a lot of time on the floor with our new baby.

So, about a month before my due date I went and rented a Rug Doctor machine and cleaned our carpets. Not only did they smell amazing and look amazing after, I felt much better about our Little J rolling around on the floor. Plus, if you haven’t done this in a while, it might be a nice thing to do before baby is born because after, you are not going to have time (or energy) to do this.

And here’s a tip: I did a Google search for some coupons and called around at a few stores to get the best deal. So if you are going to add this to your list of things to do before your baby is born, do some research and get the best price!

6. Pick a pediatrician

If you don’t have a pediatrician yet, ask friends, look online at websites like healthgrades.com (but be cautious of how many people have reviewed them), and see if your hospital has contracts with any local offices so they can come to the hospital and visit your newborn right after delivery.

It’s much easier to have this done before you have your baby because you don’t want to be at the hospital holding your perfect little baby and have a minor panic attack when the nurse asks you who your baby’s pediatrician is and then tells you how soon you need to schedule your first appointment. Having a pediatrician picked out prior to your baby’s birth is nice because you can get home and immediately schedule their appointment without worrying about if you are calling a good one.

Some pediatricians actually will let you come meet with them while you are pregnant for a kind of “meet and greet” appointment. I actually did this the month before our first baby was born and felt very good about the pediatrician my friends recommended. One less thing to worry about!

7. Pre-wash baby’s clothes

Again, this is something you don’t have to do and which won’t be for everyone, but I did it with all three of my babies’ clothes (especially after I got all my first son’s clothes out of storage!). I used Dreft because it’s hypoallergenic and I loved the way it smelled. It was really fun to wash, fold, and put away all of their tiny clothes!

8. Invest in a nursing bra (or two)

If you decide you are going to nurse your little baby, you will want to get a few nursing bras. You aren’t supposed to use underwire until you’ve been breastfeeding for three months, and I personally like ones without because I can use them when I’m sleeping and still be comfy.

I would definitely recommend getting at least one nursing bra because trying to put nursing pads in a regular bra and readjusting them every time you feed baby is pretty tough and it’s just easier to have an actual nursing bra that clips and makes things easily and quickly accessible for when baby is screaming because he’s hungry.

9. Check to see if your insurance covers a breast pump

If you are going to nurse your baby, a breast pump is really nice to have for the times that you won’t be able to nurse baby or for when baby decides to sleep through the night and you wake up engorged and crying in pain because you have two rock-hard lumps on your chest.

This particular point was very important for me, because the hospital called and got the wrong information from someone at my insurance, and after being told it was covered, we got the fancy breast pump, only to find out four months later that it was not covered at all and we owed like $300.

I would recommend calling yourself (maybe even a few times to verify information) to see if your insurance covers a breast pump. If you aren’t sure what kind of breast pump you want to try, this post of the best breastfeeding products talks about both manual and electric pumps.

There’s also a company called Aeroflow Breastpumps that does a lot of the work for you, and while I haven’t personally used them, I’ve heard great things about them making the process of getting a breast pump through insurance easy!

10. Make freezer meals

My best friend and I were due two weeks apart with our first babies, and we got together a month before our due dates and made a ton of freezer meals. This is a fun idea because it can take one day or it can take a few days (and when you are getting close to your due date you want to keep yourself busy). Our tiny freezer had almost no room for anything else after two days of making freezer meals, but it was so worth it. 

My husband and I found out that the recipes that we liked most were actually not crockpot ones, but ones that were casserole-like and were baked in the oven. Lasagna, pasta, chicken fajitas, those types of meals were our personal favorites.

And making freezer meals is really nice for after baby is born because once your family goes back home and you are left alone, the last thing you want to do is make a hot meal for you and your husband. Here’s a great post about freezer meal tips and recipes to make before your baby is born!

11. Attend classes at your hospital

Most hospitals offer free baby classes for expectant parents. I would highly recommend checking to see what kinds of classes you can take.

My husband and I signed up for three, and even though he only went to one and I only went to two, it was really helpful. I took a notebook and filled up multiple pages with things like how to give baby a bath, how to care for a circumcision, breastfeeding tips, how to swaddle baby, and how to change a diaper (somehow I made it through life without changing a single diaper until my first baby was born).

Plus you can ask the teachers/nurses any additional questions you might have. And you may even make some pregnant friends who are due around the same time!

12. Install baby’s car seat

I seriously think I drove around for about five weeks with an empty car seat in the backseat of my car before my first baby was born. Car seats aren’t super hard to install, but you don’t want to get to the hospital and realize that you left your new baby’s ride at home.

A lot of places will offer car seat installation checks where you can bring your car in and they will check to make sure you’ve installed the car seat correctly. I was going to do this with our first until my husband made fun of me and told me he knew what he was doing. I did however go and do this with my second baby, despite him mocking me. I also took our our convertible car seat in to get checked when we got that. Very helpful.

For more information about keeping kids safe in their car seats, check out this post about 8 Car Seat Mistakes You Are Probably Making.

13. Bake cookies to thank your nurses

I know this one is kind of silly, but it’s a nice gesture! And this obviously shouldn’t be done until pretty close to your due date, but it is really nice to have a bag of cookies that you can give to the nurses once you are officially checked into the hospital.

And if more than a few days goes by and you aren’t in labor, it’s always nice to have a bag of cookies waiting for you to make you feel better. You can make more for the nurses after you eat the first batch.

14. Get 2 waterproof mattress pads for the crib

I think most people probably only have one waterproof mattress pad on their crib, but we layered a waterproof crib mattress pads and then a fitted sheet, and then another mattress pad and another fitted sheet. That way, when your newborn wets the bed or throws up in the middle of the night, you can just pull the first layer off and they still have another protective layer there in case it happens again. You don’t want to be trying to wash and put on a new mattress pad and sheet in the middle of the night! 

It’s definitely worth the extra bit of money to have a spare mattress pad on the bed. Trust me, you’ll be grateful in the middle of the night!

15. Paint your nails

This may seem silly, too, but you are going to be taking a lot of pictures at the hospital holding your new baby, and since you probably won’t feel your best after your baby is born, it’s nice to have a little bit of glam to make you feel better!

I painted my nails a nice baby blue color (since I was having a boy) and it actually turned out really nice for the pictures that we had taken at the hospital.

16. Buy some “in-between” clothes

One of my friends actually suggested this and I didn’t do it the first time around and I regretted it.

As much as you want to be your pre-pregnancy size after your baby is born, it will not happen immediately. And since you won’t be pregnant anymore, you probably won’t want to wear your maternity clothes. So before you have your baby, go buy some “in-between” clothes that you can wear until you fit back into your regular clothes.

I really wish I had done this the first time because I couldn’t fit back into any of my jeans or shorts until my baby was about 2-months-old, so I ended up wearing sweatpants or my maternity pants until then. And without a large, round belly, the band on my maternity pants sagged and wasn’t the best self-esteem booster.

So, before you have your baby, just get a pair or two of in-between pants, and maybe a few looser-fitting tops. PinkBlush Maternity has some great clothes for looking good during and after pregnancy.

17. Look through your baby’s baby book

If you haven’t gotten a baby book, I highly recommend it. There are usually sections you can fill out before your baby is born about you and Daddy, the day you found out you were pregnant, the ultrasound, and things like that.

Plus you can see if there is a spot for a newspaper clipping from the day they are born and baby hand and footprints. Otherwise you might not remember to get a newspaper or baby’s footprints in the actual baby book. And it’s cute to see the pages that talk about baby’s birth and you will cry and be excited and scared and thrilled all at the same time while looking through them (yes, that is from personal experience).

18. Charge your camera battery

I know that everyone has a smart phone and can take pictures on their phones, but I’m old-fashioned and I love taking pictures on my DSLR rather than my phone.

My camera takes really nice pictures, and it was nice to be able to have my phone as a backup instead just in case. Plus, you will be taking like a million pictures at the hospital of your perfect new baby so you want to make sure your camera can handle all that pressure.

19. Do a test run to the hospital

If this is your first baby, or you haven’t delivered at the hospital you are planning on, it is always a good idea to do a test run and see not only how long it takes you to get there, but to make sure you know exactly where to park and go once you get there.

I didn’t think the signs outside of our hospital were super clear and it was nice to go and make sure we knew where to park and then where to go in and what floor to go to and everything. Because once you’re in labor, you don’t want to waste any time.

20. Stock up on hand sanitizer

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about having a baby, it’s that people will ALWAYS ask to hold them. It’s nice to have some hand sanitizer stashed around your home (especially by the changing area!) and in your bag so that when people do ask to hold your baby, you can politely have them sanitize their hands first, since there’s not always a sink around to wash hands.

21. Make your birth plan

Some OBGYNs or hospitals will give you a sheet to fill out, but some don’t, so it’s always nice to be prepared and at least feel like you are going to be in control. Your hospital may provide you with one when you pre-register, or you can check out this helpful post with things you should include on your birth plan.

It’s important to remember that your birth plan is Plan A, and sometimes, for your health or the health of your baby, things will have to change. Your birth plan should discuss your ideal birth situation, but you also need to remember to be flexible when the time comes and not panic if you can’t do everything the way you wanted. The most important part of a birth plan is that you cover all possible situations so you can prepare ahead of time and you won’t have to make decisions when you are in the moment and your nurse is asking you what you want to do.

You can fill in things about how you want your labor to go, what you want to do during labor, who you want in the room with you when baby is born, and if you want the chance to breastfeed right after baby is born. It is a really handy tool to have, and it can help put your mind at ease about delivery, even if you don’t completely stick to it during labor (which you probably won’t!).

22. Get a special baby notebook and folder

Both before your baby is born and after, you’ll probably get a lot of handouts and a lot of information. It’s really helpful to have a special place to store papers and write down all of the things you are told, because you’re most likely not going to remember everything they tell you right before you are discharged and sent home.

I also decided to use my notebook to write down questions that I might think of at home so that I wouldn’t forget to ask them while we were at the pediatrician. And for the first few months, I also recorded when my babies ate, when we bathed them, and how many wet and dirty diapers they had.

The folder is really handy because you get a lot of paperwork at the hospital and instead of shoving it all in your bag, you can nicely store it in your folder and keep it organized so that when you get home you know exactly where to look for that handout on immunizations. If you decide to go to baby classes at the hospital you can also use the notebook and folder for information you get there.

23. Get a package of milk freezer bags

I actually didn’t even think about using these for what I’m going to tell you, but I wish I would have because it would have helped a lot. If you are going to have a pump, having a box of milk storage freezer bags is really helpful.

Sometimes baby decides he doesn’t want to eat on one side and you get engorged and it’s miserable. It’s super handy to have some milk freezer bags so you can pump and then save the milk that you pump so that later, if you are going to be away from your baby, there is some milk for him ready in the freezer.

Sometimes you’ll get engorged and need to pump just a little bit so that you can sleep at night. It’s a waste to pour milk you pumped down the drain, so go ahead and freeze it! These 1 oz milk trays are the perfect way to freeze just a little bit of milk so it won’t go to waste!

24. Look up a newborn photographer

Some hospitals have contracts with baby photographers and they will actually come around to your rooms while you are there and take pictures. We were lucky and had the chance to get our first and second babies’ pictures done while we were still in the hospital. Check to see if your hospital has something like this, and if they don’t, you might want to start looking around for a newborn photographer. Or, if you want to save money but still want pictures of your perfect baby, you can look on Pinterest at the many tutorials on how to photograph babies on your own.

If you’re doing baby announcements this is especially handy, because once your baby is born you don’t want to have to try and look around for a photographer last-minute. The last thing you want to do after giving is birth is to stress about finding the perfect photographer and getting good pictures. It’s nice to plan ahead and have that all set up before.

25. Make Daddy feel special.

A lot of times the mom gets pampered and showered and the dad can feel left out. Let him know how much you appreciate him and the support he has given (and will give you during labor) by putting together a special “new Dad” kit for him.

I put in some soap, some Pop Rocks, tissues, a few books about daddies, a sports onesie, some Sour Patch Kids, some Diet Mt. Dew, air freshener, earplugs, and a few other little personal things to make life as a new dad easier. Not only was it fun for me to put together, it was nice to be able to be able to recognize his part in all of this, too!

Most importantly, just get excited! I know it is the worst waiting around for your baby. Then once your due date passes you are just trying to do everything you can to pass the time. Just enjoy it and try to relax. Babies come when they are ready, and when they do, it is an incredible experience.

This post was originally published in August 2013.

The post 25 Things to Do Before Your Baby is Born appeared first on Life With My Littles.

I want to start this post by saying that I have never had a miscarriage. I don’t pretend to understand what it feels like, or what someone who has had one must go through. But I have had a lot of friends who have, and I know that it is not talked about nearly as much as it should be. My husband and I struggled with infertility, and I felt so alone in that journey. My goal with this post is not only to give advice on how to help someone who has had a miscarriage, but to create awareness at how common miscarriages and infertility are.

In the last few years, two of my best friends have had miscarriages. Each time, I was absolutely heartbroken for them. One of my biggest fears is to lose a baby, and I couldn’t imagine what they went through. The first time I felt like I had no idea how to help her, and even though I wanted to do what I could, I didn’t know what to do. The second time, I was able to reach out in a few different ways to help care for and comfort her. I know that I was able to help lighten her burden, even just a little bit.

When I first started doing research for this post, I posted on Facebook asking my friends to message me if they felt comfortable sharing their story and what was helpful for them when they had a miscarriage. I had so many people send me messages telling me what it was like for them and what people did that helped them get through it. Miscarriages are so much more common than you might think. Between 10-20% of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage (source). So even though it’s not something people openly talk about, miscarriages happen at least in 1 out of ten pregnancies. I don’t tell you that to scare you, only to make you realize that they aren’t as rare as you might think.

So what do you do when your friend or sister who was so excited to finally be pregnant tells you that they lost the baby? I talked to eight different women who gave me advice on what helped them the most to come up with this list. I am so grateful for their openness with me and that they were willing to talk and share their experiences. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have been able to write this post.

How to help someone who has had a miscarriage

1. Acknowledge that you don’t know what to say

If you haven’t had a miscarriage, you might not know what to say. And you definitely aren’t going to know how they feel. So say that. One of my friends said that when someone told her “I wish I knew what to say,” it was exactly the right thing for her because she was acknowledging that she hadn’t gone through it and she didn’t know what her feelings were like at that time. Which is completely true. Don’t pretend like you know what they are going through. You don’t. And letting them know that will really help.

2. Give them a gift

Another friend told me that she heard of a girl giving someone a flower to plant that would bloom every year so she could remember her lost baby. Something physical to represent the baby that was lost that can be displayed is a great way for them to remember the baby. People who have miscarriages don’t want to forget their baby, no matter how early they lost their baby. It was still theirs. Even making a fleece tie blanket she can wrap herself up in is a simple thing that can make a difference. Other more simple gifts could be a condolence card if you are far away, or even sending flowers can help lift someone’s spirits. Making an effort to try and help can mean the world to someone who has had a miscarriage.

3. Give them a hug

Several of my friends said that receiving hugs really helped them out. Even if you aren’t a huggy person, sometimes just being held can really help. So just stop by and give your friend a hug. Honestly you might not need to do much more than that.

4. Just listen

Don’t try to fix their problem, don’t try and get them to be grateful for their other kids, don’t try to give advice. Just listen to them. Let them talk about how they are feeling, and then be there so they can cry on your shoulder. Husbands are great, but sometimes you need a third party for support. Be that person for someone.

5. Let them know you are thinking about them

Whether you are close or far away, send them a text, give them a call, or just do something to let them know that you are thinking about them. Knowing that people care is going to help them feel loved, and a lot of my friends said that that was what they needed most. So reach out, tell them you are thinking about them, and that will mean a lot to them.

6. Give them some alone time

They might just want to be alone, so ask if you can take their kids for a few hours so they can nap or pay for them to go get pampered somewhere. Sometimes they might just want to think about it by themselves, so let them. Give them a chance to do something for themselves without worrying about anything else. And if you offer and they say no, that’s fine, too. This might not be for everyone, but give them that chance because it might be what they need.

7. Take them out so they can do something normal

Some people might want to distract themselves for a few hours so they can take a break from the pain they are going through. So go out with the girls for ice cream or for hot chocolate. Go get your nails done together. Do something you might do on a girls’ night out. Just be around friends and have fun doing something together.

Losing a baby is not something I would ever wish upon anyone. To those who have gone through one (or several), I am so, so sorry. Always remember that you are not alone, and you are loved.

I want this post to help others know what to do for someone who has had a miscarriage. My heart breaks for everyone who has ever had one. I can’t imagine the pain that accompanies it, and I think it must be even worse because women don’t always feel like they can tell people. We need to take away the stigma that comes with miscarriages, and be more open and supportive. A baby is a baby, whether it is born or not. Please help me share this message by sharing this post. We need to help women who have had a miscarriage know that they are not alone.

Again, I want to say thank you to all of my friends who talked to me for this post. I couldn’t have written this without you.

This post was originally published May 11, 2015.

The post How to Help Someone Who Has Had a Miscarriage appeared first on Life With My Littles.

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Note: This is my opinion on what you should do when you find out you are pregnant. It is how I feel, and I feel strongly about it. I know others will either agree or disagree, and that is fine, but it doesn’t change my experiences or my thoughts. So please be courteous about what you comment.

The second you find out you are pregnant, a lot of things can run through your mind.

“We are going to be parents!”
“Oh my gosh, we are going to be parents!”
“We are going to have a CHILD.”
“I am going to get so huge.”
“It’s going to cost so much money.”
“I’ve never diapered a baby before.”
“But we are going to be parents!”
“What in the world do we do now???”

Don’t worry! I am here to tell you some helpful tips and things to do once you find out you are pregnant! During my first pregnancy, I was just so full of excitement that I didn’t think about some of these things. But after being pregnant three times and having three babies, I’ve realized that there are several things that you’ll want to do as soon as you find out you are pregnant, and then throughout pregnancy.

14 Things to Do When You Find Out You Are Pregnant

1. Decide when to announce your pregnancy

I always wait to announce my pregnancies publicly until the second trimester. I think family is okay to tell, but it can be smart not to tell the whole world until after the first trimester is over.

Yes, it’s hard not to tell your friends as soon as you find out you are pregnant, but try not to post it to Facebook just yet. One of my biggest fears is having to go back and tell people that something has happened and you have had a miscarriage. The baby is most vulnerable during the first 12 weeks you are pregnant, and after the first trimester, the chance of a miscarriage drops dramatically (down to 10-15% of all known pregnancies).

Everyone is different any you may decide to tell people as soon as you find out, but think about where your support system lies in the small chance that something does happen. If you want to read more about why I think you should wait, you can read this post about why I wait until the second trimester to tell people I’m pregnant.

2. Document your pregnancy

One of the best ways to do this is to use a pregnancy journal. There are tons of cute ones on Amazon, and my friend Aubrey recently published her own pregnancy journal (it’s beautiful!). The best ones ask questions about each week or month, and provide lots of places for you to write down how you’re feeling, what you’re craving, or changes you’ve been experiencing.

It might seem silly if you aren’t pregnant, but there’s a lot of stuff that happens and it is fun to write it all down! Plus, then you can go back during subsequent pregnancies and compare! You’ll be amazed at how different pregnancies can be even in the same person! And if you’re not a big writer, try taking pictures to document your growth! (Here are some cute ideas for documenting your pregnancy in photos.)

3. Take lots of pictures

This sort of goes along with documenting your pregnancy, but it is really fun to take lots of pictures. You can do weekly pictures or monthly pictures. With all of my pregnancies, I took a picture every two or three weeks. It’s fun to see how you grow, and you can even get creative with a little sign or use your computer to put in text.

This also makes it so you can compare what you looked like with different pregnancies, and you can see how much sooner and bigger you are the second time around! And get Dad and other kids involved, too. There are lots of cute pictures I have seen on Pinterest with kids kissing their mom’s belly or with couple maternity shoots. Just take lots of pictures!

4. Check your medications to see if you can still take them

I had some allergy medications that I was taking before I got pregnant the first time and after my first appointment, my doctor recommended not taking them anymore. Some things like ibuprofen shouldn’t be taken during pregnancy either, so you may want to consider switching to Tylenol for any headaches or cramps that get severe. There are other things that you shouldn’t take during pregnancy, too, so check with your doctor in your first prenatal visit to find out what you need to be careful of. It’s much better to be safe than sorry!

5. Take a before picture

With my first pregnancy, I took a “one month” picture as soon as we found out we were having a baby. Then with my second pregnancy, I took a “five week” picture. It was fun to see how much different I looked, and then to compare the before picture with a picture from right before my baby was born.

“That will make you feel bad,” you say. No. Trust me. It will be fun to compare and see how pregnancy changes your body! And while not everyone may think this is funny, it was crazy to see where I had gained that 50 pounds. With my daughter, I only gained 35 pounds, and you can tell in the pictures below that most of the weight gain was in my belly and not in my face and butt like it was the first time!

6. Use lotion early and everywhere

During my first pregnancy, my skin decided that it was going to have stretch marks all over. And I mean all over. My chest, my thighs, my butt, and yes, my stomach. So as soon as I started seeing those little lines I started slathering on Palmer’s Cocoa Butter and Palmer’s Tummy Butter. And while I still had the stretch marks, I think it definitely helped me not to get them as bad as they could have been.

So, my advice would be to use lotion early and everywhere, because you don’t know where you are going to get those stretch marks, especially if it is your first pregnancy. You will go through a lot of it and it’s not the cheapest stuff, but it really is worth it!

7. Find a workout plan and stick to it

Not only is it important to workout when you aren’t pregnant, it is important to stay healthy and workout while you are pregnant! Your body is going through a lot of changes and you want to keep it healthy. When I was pregnant the first time I used the stretches and exercises in the What to Expect When You’re Expecting book and I did them every day. They helped me stay flexible and I think especially the ones that strengthen your pelvic floor helped me have a really fast delivery.

The second time I did a combination of the Gaiam Fit Plan for Pregnancy and Blogilates. I felt great and I felt strong. I did a combination of cardio and strength training and stretching, which will help you stay healthy as long as you aren’t eating too much.

And make sure you have all the pregnancy workout essentials you need, too!

8. Shop around for maternity clothes.

I have found that my favorite places to buy maternity clothes are Target and Old Navy. They have cute clothes other places, too, but Target and Old Navy are both affordable and cute, and you can try them on in the store, which is helpful since not all pregnancy bodies are the same!

You don’t want to spend a lot of money on maternity clothes because you don’t get to wear them all the time. But at the same time, you still want to look cute and show off that bump. The Liz Lange line at Target is my favorite for maternity clothes. I pretty much want all of their dresses, and the tops I got from there are my favorite of all my maternity shirts. I also really like PinkBlush Maternity‘s maternity clothes!

Pants are a little bit harder, because they usually just come in small, medium, or large and I have yet to find ones that are long enough. I’ve had success at Old Navy, but only because I was able to order long ones. Try on a bunch and if you still can’t find any that are perfect, just remember that you only have to wear them for a few months!

9. Start taking a prenatal vitamin.

You may already be taking one if you were trying to get pregnant, but if you aren’t, start now. They’re jam-packed with lots of good things your baby needs to get a head start on life. Folic acid, iron, and calcium are especially important. Prenatal vitamins are not only important for your baby, but they are important for you since your baby is zapping up all those vitamins that you would normally get. So, you need extra, and that is where a prenatal vitamin comes in.

As soon as you find out you’re pregnant, get some! And you can even buy giant bottles that will last all of pregnancy, so that’s fantastic. And if taking a pill isn’t your thing, now they have gummy vitamins that I’m assuming are delicious and a lot easier to take. You really have no excuse to get your baby those extra good vitamins and minerals they need while growing!

10. Research baby products

Especially the big things like strollers, car seats, and cribs. One of my favorite places to look (not necessarily buy) is Amazon. They have such a wide selection of items, and they have tons of great, helpful reviews for each product. The reviews are SUPER helpful when you’re trying to find something you’ll like! You should also ask any moms with babies who have recently bought things and see what they like and don’t like. They may even let you come check out their favorite items!

Once you do have a few in mind that you feel good about, try and see them in person at the store. I mean really, you have nine months to find these things and you obviously want the best for your child. And the second time around you will already have a lot of the bigger things and won’t have to look again (plus, you won’t have time). You can read about the best baby products we ever purchased here and the best list of baby essentials here.

11. Make a list of what to do before and after your baby is born.

This was super helpful to me because it helped me feel more prepared before my first was born, and then I knew exactly what I needed to do after he was born.

Lucky for you, I have compiled a few lists and they’re some of my most popular posts. They’re the things that I did, and they were super helpful. Check them out so you can be prepared (did anyone else just sing that like Scar from “The Lion King?”).

There is a list of “25 Things to Do Before Your Baby is Born,” “15 More Things to Do Before Your Baby is Born,” “17 Things to Do Before Your Second Baby is Born,” and “15 Things to Do After Your Baby is Born.” Trust me, a lot of good info there. And you don’t have to use all of it, but they’ll give you a head start!

12. Write things down throughout your pregnancy

This can be questions for your doctor, feelings you are having about being a parent, or stories about the firsts (when you first found out, first felt baby, first heard the heartbeat). These are special things and there’s usually a place in the baby book for at least important dates and how you felt when you found out you were pregnant (or you can write it all in a memory journal for your child!), so you will want to make sure you remember! And since pregnancy is notorious for making you forgetful, writing down things will help you solve that problem (especially the questions for your doctor thing)!

Pregnancy is weird and you can easily question the things that are happening with your body. And since you probably don’t want to call the doctor every day, write those questions down and bring them to your next appointment. Super handy to have them right there in front of you when the doctor asks, “Do you have any questions for me?”

13. Download an app to follow along

Now I haven’t been pregnant for three years, so I’m not super in the loop here, but I personally love the apps where each week they tell you how big your baby is in terms of fruit. My two favorites from my pregnancies have been the “What To Expect Pregnancy” app and the “Baby Bump Pregnancy” app.

The “What To Expect Pregnancy” app is really nice because you have access to daily tips, weekly updates, and discussion boards for people who are having babies in the same month as you. And it’s exciting to have it right there on your phone every week so you don’t have to go looking it up. Even if you aren’t big on reading books at least you get some tips this way!

14. Read as much as you can

When I was pregnant with my first I pretty much read everything I could get my hands on about babies and pregnancy. I read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and then a few other books that were about the same thing.

Especially if it’s your first baby or you haven’t been around babies much, you want to get as much information as you can about how to be healthy and help keep them healthy and growing and happy, right? Fortunately for me I love to read, so this wasn’t hard, but even if you aren’t a big reader (which, if you got through all my previous tips you may be), it’s different when it’s about trying to raise a child.

And side note, if you aren’t a big reader, you can try listening to podcasts about pregnancy!

I’ve also written a pregnancy book, “Preggers,” that’s a less medical, fun, helpful guide to pregnancy! Parenting can be scary stuff, especially when you are first starting out and have no idea what you are doing. So go pick up a book and start learning all you can, because it really does help!

So congratulations on being pregnant, and don’t worry! You have eight months (depending on when you are reading this) to prepare for your new little bundle of joy. Yes, it can be scary to find out you are pregnant, but being a parent is the best (especially being a mom!). Work on some of these things to do when you find out you are pregnant, get excited, and don’t worry! Good luck!!

This post was originally published on April 28, 2014.

The post 14 Things to Do When You Find Out You Are Pregnant appeared first on Life With My Littles.

To the couple facing infertility,

I am so sorry. Infertility is one of the most painful, difficult struggles someone can face, and it sucks. I wouldn’t wish infertility on anyone, and I’m so sorry you have to go through it.

I’m sorry that people who haven’t experienced infertility don’t understand. I’m sorry that you have to hear lots of unintentionally hurtful comments about your childless family and how your priorities aren’t in order. 

I’m sorry you weren’t prepared for this. Nobody is ever prepared for infertility, and it’s so painful to get negative pregnancy tests month after month, with little to no explanation why. You always think that having a baby is going to take a few tries and then that’s it, but for many, that’s not the way it goes.

I’m sorry it’s all-consuming. I’m sorry infertility takes hold of you. I’m sorry it’s overwhelming and constant and feels like a nightmare you can’t wake up from. I’m sorry that worrying about getting pregnant is all you can think of.

I’m sorry if you feel like you have to put on a fake smile and give a fake “I’m good” when anyone asks how you are. I’m sorry you can’t feel like you can tell anyone what you’ve been facing. Infertility is so common, but unfortunately people still don’t talk about it enough. 

I’m sorry that infertility treatments are so expensive. I’m sorry that there’s no guarantee that those expensive treatments will work. I’m sorry if you’re one of those without access to insurance coverage for infertility care or the economic means to pay out-of-pocket for treatments. It seems so unfair that most people don’t have to pay anything to make a family when some have to pay so much.

I’m sorry for every friend, family member, or co-worker who gets pregnant while you’re struggling to keep your head above water. I’m sorry that it’s hard to be happy for them, and I’m sorry that you have to watch them experience pregnancy and parenthood while you watch enviously from the sidelines, wishing you could be feeling morning sickness and contraction pain.

I also want you to remember that there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re not being punished, and it’s not your fault that you are faced with this trial. It can happen to first-time parents, second-time parents, or fifth-time parents. Infertility does not discriminate based on sex, race, religion, age, or even socio-economic status, and it certainly doesn’t happen as a result of something you’ve done or did not do in the past. 

You’re going to feel a roller coaster of emotions, if you haven’t already, and you’re allowed to feel all of those feelings. You’re allowed to be angry, sad, jealous, frustrated, stressed, anxious, and exhausted. Acknowledge your feelings and let yourself feel them. You can’t process, grow, or move on from these feelings if you deny or suppress them. 

Remember that you’re not alone. It might feel like you are because infertility doesn’t get talked about as much as it should, but 1 in 8 couples have trouble either getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy (source). You may not even be aware of people close to you who are also struggling. Find a few people you can talk to, share your struggle, and be there for those who are also struggling. You are not alone in this.

Remember to talk to each other, too. Infertility is something you go through together. Stay connected, put each other first, and always treat each other with kindness and respect. Don’t let infertility become a wedge in your relationship.

Remember that there are many ways to make a family. What works for one couple might not be possible for another. As long as you don’t give up, there’s always hope. It might not be through pregnancy, but surrogacy, adoption, and fostering are incredible ways to make a family, too. 

Most importantly, don’t forget that it’s worth it. It’s worth every tear, all the pain from negative pregnancy tests, all the money you spend on creating your family, and every uncomfortable, miserable, depressing, stressful moment. 

I wish you the best of luck, all the love in the world, and hope that one day soon you will experience the joy of holding your own child in your arms.

Sincerely,

Chelsea

I wrote this post as part of National Infertility Awareness Week and the 2019 theme #InfertilityUncovered. Together we can raise awareness about the significant lack of access to family building options and emotional support for millions of women and men struggling to build a family.

The post To the Couple Facing Infertility appeared first on Life With My Littles.

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One year ago today, I published my pregnancy book, Preggers. It was a long process, took a lot of hard work, and it was 100% worth it.

Since today is the anniversary of my book’s publication (and coincidentally my oldest son‘s SIXTH birthday!), and because March is National Reading Month, I thought it would be fun to write a post featuring the best books to read during pregnancy! 

There are TONS of pregnancy books out there, and lots of them didn’t make my list. I tried to pick a wide variety of books that have great reviews, I’ve loved myself, or I’ve heard recommended several times. They aren’t all for everybody (depending on if you’re planning on a natural birth or a medicated birth), but hopefully, you’ll find a book on this list that speaks to you! 

1. Preggers. Of course I’m kicking it off with my own guide to pregnancy! Preggers is NOT your mother’s guide to pregnancy. It ranges from trying to get pregnant all the way up to labor and delivery. It’s informative without being overwhelming or too medical, and it will make you laugh, cry, and feel like someone else actually understands what you’re going through. It’s bright pink, awesome, and definitely worth checking out! 

2. What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Another classic. It’s great for learning about what’s going on with your body and your baby. I liked following along with it each month with my first pregnancy. It also has answers to a lot of common questions and talks about labor and delivery. 

3. 50 Things to Do Before You Deliver. This book is written by my friend Jill Krause of Baby Rabies, and it’s a great book to help moms prepare for the arrival of their baby. It’s really easy to read and has cute pictures. Jill is a pregnancy genius, so of course, her book is fabulous! Plus it was published around the same time as mine! 

4. Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. If you’re worried about the actual birth part, this one is perfect for you. I’ve heard this book recommended over and over again. It’s filled with birth stories and information on the birth process. It’s focused on natural birth, but even if that’s not what you’re planning, it’s still a great way to prepare for childbirth!

5. The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy. A book I haven’t read, but I have heard good things about it. The tagline is “or everything your doctor won’t tell you.” It’s written like it’d be written to a best friend and is filled with things you’re too scared or embarrassed to ask about. A practical and funny book for moms-to-be! 

6. Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. The Mayo Clinic is a very well-known and respected name in medicine, so you know the Mayo Clinic’s pregnancy book is going to be full of helpful information about pregnancy! It has week-by-week updates on baby’s growth and month-by-month changes for mom, a 40-week pregnancy calendar, a symptoms guide, and a review of important pregnancy decisions. A great read if you want a book more on the medical side of things! 

7. The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy. The fourth book in Dawn Dais’ “The Sh!t No One Tells You” series came out in 2017, and it’s all about what pregnancy is REALLY like. It’s blunt and very honest and doesn’t cover a ton on the medical side, so if you’re looking for a medical book, don’t get this one. It’s a great book for preparing yourself for the realities of parenthood! 

8. Birth Without Fear. This book actually just came out yesterday, but I’ve listened to January Harsche on a few podcasts and I’m sure her books is a great resource for pregnant mamas. It’s described as “an honest, positive, and passionate message of empowerment surrounding everything that involves having a baby. It’s a guide that fills in the considerable cracks in the information available to women and families when they’re preparing to welcome a child–covering care provider choices, medical freedom, birth options, breastfeeding, intimacy, postpartum depression, and much more.” If I have another baby, I’ll definitely be picking up a copy! 

9. The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth. If you’re planning on a very natural pregnancy and childbirth experience, this one is for you! It’s written by Genevieve Howland, writer of the pregnancy and parenting blog Mama Natural. The book “demystifies” natural pregnancy and goes through pregnancy week-by-week, which as a pregnant person I always appreciated. This probably isn’t for everyone, but if you’re on the holisitic side, I’m sure you’ll love it!

Pregnancy is a special, magical, uncomfortable, confusing, crazy time of a woman’s life. Fortunately, there are lots of great pregnancy books to help you through the joys and miseries that come along with growing a baby. Hopefully this list of books to read during pregnancy was helpful and taught you about a few new pregnancy books to read, and if you have any other suggestions, please leave a comment and let me know! 

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When I got induced the first time, I didn’t know what to expect. To be fair, I hadn’t really done a lot of research on the subject, other than typing “how to get this baby out of me” into Google.

I went to the hospital thinking I was in labor only to be told I wasn’t, but got induced anyway because I was past my due date and would probably get induced within the next few days.

With my second baby, I was induced at 39 weeks because of some health concerns. Nothing serious, but I was Strep B positive and because my first baby was born so fast, they wanted to make sure I had enough time to get the antibiotics before my second baby was born. Because the induction was planned and I had been induced before, I felt more prepared because I’d been through it before.

There are a lot of articles online about induction, why you might get induced, and ways people get induced, but there’s not a lot of helpful information on what to expect during the actual process. Which is crazy, because it’s a fairly common thing!

To clarify, this post isn’t about how to decide if you should get induced or what type of induction method is best (because there are other articles you can read for that), it’s more about what it’s like and what to expect when you get induced. So if your doctor has started talking about an induction and you’re worried or have no idea what it will be like, here are some things you can expect when you get induced:

1. An induction might be done due to health concerns or going past your due date. In my case, I was induced with my first two babies, each for one of those reasons. Either way, inductions are not bad! Don’t freak out if your doctor starts to talk about an induction.

2. If your induction is scheduled, you will call in at a certain time to make sure they have a room for you. You may have to push it back a bit because if the labor and delivery floor is full with moms going into labor on their own, you’re not top priority. So just be patient, relax, and know your baby will come out eventually.

3. Morning inductions are the best. I know you may not have a say in whether your induction takes place in the morning or at night, but getting scheduled for a morning induction is awesome. You can go in after a good night’s sleep and be ready for a long day. If you do end up getting scheduled at night, try to take a nap before you go in!

4. You can also feel very put-together when you have a scheduled induction. If your induction is scheduled, you can do your hair and makeup so you feel and look good when you go in to have your baby. I felt much more put-together when I had my second baby than I did my first baby because I wasn’t sure if he was actually coming when I first when in!

5. Eat before you head to the hospital. Once you’re there, you can’t eat. They’ll let you have clear liquids and ice chips and sometimes jello, but no meals. So make sure you eat before you go or you’ll be ravenous!

6. When you get induced you’ll get an IV put into your hand that stays there the whole time. It’s annoying and if you have sensitive skin it’s very uncomfortable. I actually ended up taking my own IV needle out the day after my daughter was born because it was bothering me! 

7. Once you’re hooked up to the IV, going to the bathroom is complicated. Go to the bathroom before you get started because otherwise you have to unhook everything and bring the whole IV pole in with you. It’s a mess.

8. The way you’re induced will depend on how dilated you are. If you’re already beginning to dilate, you may just get started on Pitocin right away. If you’re all closed up and your body hasn’t even started getting ready, you may get Prostaglandin (a cervix ripening medicine) inserted to help you start dilating. A foley balloon is another option before starting Pitocin. 

9. Induction is slow. It’s definitely not a fast method of having a baby. It can take hours and hours before your baby is born, and it often takes quite a while before labor begins. I’d recommend bringing a book or a movie or some games to stay busy! 

10. Pitocin is delivered through an IV. You may have picked up on this from #6, but when you get Pitocin, it’s delivered intravenously via an IV. 

11. Pitocin makes your contractions more painful. Speaking as someone who has gone into labor on her own and been induced, the contractions from Pitocin were way worse than contractions from going into labor naturally. It’s a lot of cramping and definitely hurts more with induction. 

12. You can still have an epidural-free birth when you get induced. Just because the contractions are more painful doesn’t mean you can’t have your baby without pain medicine. If you’ve prepared for a natural birth and find out you have to be induced, don’t feel discouraged. It’s possible to still have your baby without any pain medicines or even an epidural!

13. If you do want an epidural, get it as soon as you can (or ask for other pain medicine). With my first baby, I wasn’t able to get the epidural as soon as I wanted so they gave me some other pain medicine first. Unfortunately, that made me feel really out of it and throw up a few times. With my second baby, I got my epidural before the pain was too bad, and it made such a big difference. Epidurals are the best! 

14. Pitocin can slow dilation while increasing contractions. What this means is that you may have to lower your dosage and then up it again. Contractions that are coming too close together are bad for your baby’s heart rate. So they may have to play with the dosage a little bit before they find the sweet spot (this happened to me!).

15. You have to wear belly monitors when you’re induced. I guess this could vary from hospital to hospital, but both times I was induced I did have to wear the belly monitors pretty much the whole time. I was only able to get up and walk around a little bit, and it wasn’t very much. They just want to make sure your baby is doing okay and your contractions aren’t coming too close together.

16. Sometimes the nurses break your water if it doesn’t break on its own. My water had to be broken both times I was induced, and it is a WEIRD feeling (imagine you’re peeing yourself over and over again in gushes each time you have a contraction). Not a big deal, but just be ready in case it needs to be done!

17. You’ll get pelvic exams a few times to check your dilation/effacement. The nurses will check to see how dilated and effaced you are a few times during the induction process. It’s not super fun, but it will help them know if the medicine is working and it will give you an idea of how things are progressing! 

Induction is not as scary or as big a deal as people sometimes make it seem. About 30% of hospital births are medically induced, and if you’re prepared and know what to expect, it can be a good experience! Talk to your doctor about any concerns you have and try to do everything you can to prepare for your baby. When you know what to expect when you get induced, it will go a lot better and you’ll be even more ready to meet your baby! And if you have more questions about what to expect when you have a hospital birth, check out this post!

The post What to Expect When You Get Induced appeared first on Life With My Littles.

DISCLAIMER: I’ve been getting a lot of mean comments on this post telling me how cynical or awful this post is. Guys, chill. Yes, I think some of these gifts are lame, but all gifts are good when they come from the heart.

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If you’ve had a baby shower, I guarantee this has happened to you.

You’re sitting in front of your guests opening presents when you open one that’s just awful. You fake a smile and pretend it’s the cutest thing in the world while mentally making a note to return it or donate it as soon as the party is over. You graciously thank the gift-giver and set the present with the rest, happy to move on to the next one.

Am I right?

For some reason, there’s always one or two people who just don’t know how to give gifts at a baby shower. It might be your elderly neighbor, your childless friend from high school, or your aunt who you’ve only met a few times, but there’s one at every baby shower, and sometimes, it can make you feel pretty awkward.

Today I’ve written a post filled with gifts NOT to give at a baby shower, and hopefully it will spread around enough that some of these common (and unwanted) gift ideas will stop being given to pregnant moms. Please. Just stop.

Here are some gifts not to give at a baby shower:

1. Quilts. Unless you’re a grandma or great-grandma, please don’t sew the baby a quilt or other handmade blanket. New moms get so many blankets (receiving blankets, swaddle blankets, stroller blankets) and honestly, babies don’t even use quilts until they’re over a year old. Nobody has room to store a bunch of quilts until then. And nobody wants to save a quilt from someone they barely know to use later in their lives. So just stop with the quilts. 

2. Decorations or art for the nursery. New moms usually have a very specific idea in mind for how they want to decorate their baby’s nursery. And it’s usually already done by the time they have a baby shower (especially for first-time moms!). I guarantee that whatever decor or art you gift them probably won’t match, and they’ll probably end up getting rid of it. The rare exception is if you found it on their baby registry. Otherwise, no.

3. Anything homemade. You might’ve seen a cute homemade drool bib or a no-sew bow or even a pair of baby booties you could crochet. But people don’t throw baby showers to get handmade gifts. They throw baby showers to get gifts from their registries. And just because they have baby mittens on their registry doesn’t mean you should make them baby mittens. Just buy them. They registered for those for a reason.

4. A music box. You might be thinking “Who would give a baby a music box?” but I can assure you, it’s happened. A music box is not a practical gift for a baby and it will just take up shelf or closet space. Babies don’t need music boxes, they need diapers. Be sensible.

5. Clothes that are bigger than 12 months. Gifting clothes can be a tricky one, but I’ll just say don’t give the new mama any baby clothes that are for babies older than a year. She’ll forget about them! This has happened to me more than once, and while yes, it’s a good idea to give the new mom clothes for a size other than newborn or 0-3 months, they’ll get put in a box or on a shelf and then they won’t be found until the baby (or toddler, by then) has already outgrown them. Try to stick to 0-3 months or 3-6 months.

6. Something they won’t use for years. In an effort to get something helpful that nobody else will get you and your baby, some people go so far as to get them things for the future, like a strider bike or pull-ups. Again, people don’t have unlimited storage for these things, so please don’t get them things that won’t be helpful or needed for years. 

7. Stuffed animals. Stuffed animals are the worst. Babies honestly don’t need them at all (they can’t even cuddle with them until they’re older) and even then they only need one or two. But somehow, we always end up with like 1,000 stuffed animals per kid. We’re basically drowning in them. Please don’t gift stuffed animals. No more teddy bears, puppies, or kitties. NO MORE.

8. Toddler toys. You know how every year on the anniversary of their birth, people celebrate birthdays and they’re given gifts? Well THAT is the appropriate time for a child to receive toddler toys, not at the mom’s baby shower when the baby isn’t even born yet. If they won’t use it within 6-9 months of the shower, it’s not a good gift. 

9. Anything used. It’s thoughtful and kind to give a new mama a gently-used high chair or Bumbo seat that your baby didn’t destroy, but save that for another day. Don’t gift her something that’s been used. Go buy some pacifiers or a pack of diapers, and give her the high chair after the party’s over. Be classy, guys. Be classy.

I know this post of gifts not to give at a baby shower might be a little harsh and hard to hear (the truth hurts), but it’s time someone spoke up for mamas-to-be!

If you really are having a hard time trying to decide what to get someone for their baby shower, just get them something off of their registry (Amazon Baby Registry is my favorite!). They put it together for a reason (it’s full of things they actually want!), and they’ll be thrilled when they see your gift!

Happy gifting, friends!

The post Gifts Not to Give at a Baby Shower appeared first on Life With My Littles.

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The week after we got back from my husband’s medical school graduation, I took a pregnancy test and found out we were going to have another baby. We were happy with the two kids we had, had just moved to Texas and bought our first house, and were not planning on having another baby for quite a while. My sister had been trying to get pregnant for over a year, we had been actively preventing getting pregnant, and yet here I was with a baby growing in my belly.

I had an incredibly difficult time accepting that we were going to have another baby, let alone feeling excited about his arrival. It didn’t seem fair, we weren’t ready, we had other plans, we had just moved across the country, my husband was about to start a demanding new job, we already had two kids under four, I was already busy, and on and on. There were lots of reasons why we had a hard time feeling joy about our surprise pregnancy.

That’s what I want to talk about today. This post is for people who find themselves pregnant and are struggling with feeling excited about that baby. I’ve been there, it’s incredibly hard, and I hope that if you’re in that situation, these ways to cope with a surprise pregnancy will help you feel a little more peace about what’s coming.

1. Try to accept that it’s happening. If you’re actively preventing pregnancy or it wasn’t at all on your radar, finding out you’re pregnant can be hard to believe. But whether you believe it or not, it’s happening, and you better come to terms with it fast. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll be able to figure out what to do and how to best prepare yourself and your lives.

2. Make a plan. The next step is to figure out what comes next. Decide what you need to do for yourself and your baby (here are 14 suggestions) and make a plan. That might include what you’re going to do financially, with your job, or with schooling. One thing that helped me was to decide where we were going to have our baby sleep when the time came (since we had just moved into a new house and had other plans for that room).

3. Don’t give up on the plan you had before. Just because you’re having a baby doesn’t mean you can’t run a half marathon or get your degree or a promotion at work. Despite what a lot of people think, children are absolutely not the end of your dreams. You might have to get a little creative in achieving your dreams and the plans you had before, but you can absolutely still do them with a baby on your hip. Pregnancy is not the end of your life, it’s the miraculous beginning of another’s

4. Remember you’re not the only one who’s experienced a surprise pregnancy. Besides me (because as much as I love our youngest, he was definitely a surprise), there are thousands of other mamas out there who have had surprise pregnancies and carried on with their lives. I’m sure you can find a message board on a website like whattoexpect.com or thebump.com, and there are also several books written about surprise pregnancies (like Tiny Blue Lines or A Bump in Life). They might help you find some peace knowing you’re not alone.

5. Accept that you might just need some time before you feel happy about it. Guys, if you’re not thrilled right away, it’s okay. That doesn’t mean that you won’t love your baby or be excited to meet him when the time comes. Sometimes it takes a while for the excitement to kick in. That’s 100% okay, so don’t feel bad about it.

6. Focus on the positives. Besides the obvious one (there’s a human growing in your belly!), try and look at the positives of having a baby. They’re adorable, they smell good, you can snuggle them, you get to dress them in tiny clothes, you get to see what a 1/2 you and 1/2 your spouse/boyfriend/baby daddy looks like, you get to become a mother (the best job in the world, and that’s a fact, not an opinion), and your body is creating a tiny little life! Pick just one positive and try to focus on that. It will help remind you why having a baby is something to be celebrated, not dreaded.

7. Feel the feels. Yes, you should try to look on the bright side and accept that it’s happening, but it’s also good to just feel those feelings. Let yourself feel stressed out or upset or scared or unsure. Feel them, acknowledge them, and then work through them. You don’t have to pretend to be excited when you’re not.

8. Express yourself. Whether that means writing down how you feel, telling your husband or mom or sister, expressing how you feel and being honest about it will help. Sometimes it just takes saying it out loud to help you to be able to breathe again.

9. Get an ultrasound. One of the first things you should do when you find out you’re pregnant is schedule a doctor’s appointment. They won’t always offer an ultrasound, but it helps you be able to accept and realize your pregnancy is real when you see that tiny little dot that’s a baby on the screen.

10. Look at baby clothes, baby shoes, and nursery decorations. Baby things are stupid cute, and looking at them can help you feel a little more excited about having a baby to buy them for. Some of my personal favorite places to shop for babies are Lulu and Roo and Sweet N Swag.

11. Try meditation. If you’ve never done a meditation before, it might sound dumb, but this is one thing that I did that really helped me calm my anxiety when I was pregnant with my third baby. I tried to find the actual meditation I used but couldn’t, but I’m pretty sure I just searched “pregnancy meditation” on the podcast app and found one that was a few minutes long. It focused on being grateful for a healthy baby and visualizing a healthy pregnancy.

Don’t feel guilty if your first instinct isn’t to jump up and down. That’s not everyone’s first reaction. Sometimes instead of celebrating you cry on the floor of the bathroom and wonder what you’re going to do. That’s okay. You have eight more months to get excited and prepare to bring a tiny little person into the world (and that tiny little person is going to be incredible, just like our tiny little surprise is!). Hopefully these eleven suggestions on how to cope with a surprise pregnancy will help you feel a little more grounded and ready for your soon-to-be baby. And of course, congratulations, mama! Babies are the best!

The post Ways to Cope with a Surprise Pregnancy appeared first on Life With My Littles.