I received free product in exchange for this post.

After giving birth, you might feel like you’ve been hit by a train. Even if you had a smooth delivery, those first few weeks and months of postpartum are rough.

The births of my three kids all went great, but I still felt exhausted, overwhelmed, sore, and like a hot mess when I got home from the hospital.

Newborns need everything done for them, and it’s a lot of work to feed them and change them and help them sleep. Oftentimes, new moms forget to take care of themselves while they’re learning (or re-learning!) to do everything it takes to care for their new baby!

I have a few posts revolving around gifts to bring a new mom, including one featuring books to give new moms, and another full of useful gifts new moms actually want. Today I am adding to this list, because new moms seriously deserve all the gifts because childbirth is ridiculous.

Today, I want to share gifts you can give to pamper a new mom, focus on her, and remind her how special and loved she is, too!

Gifts to Pamper a New Mom

Simple, Personal Jewelry

I know jewelry can seem like a difficult thing to buy a woman, but every woman loves a simple jewelry piece she can wear every day and feel a little fancier.

I recently discovered the company Rellery, and they make the most beautiful, personal jewelry pieces.

You can get meaningful necklaces, bracelets, and rings personalized with names, dates, or sayings, or choose from a variety of dainty but strong necklaces, bracelets, rings, and earrings.

Each piece is made with high-quality precious metals so they’ll last, and the chains are designed with tight links so little hands won’t break them when they pull. My three-year-old has pulled on the chain of my Double Heart Necklace several times and hasn’t done anything to it (and he thinks he’s the Hulk, so that’s saying something!).

Rellery jewelry is also ethically made and sold directly to the buyer (no middleman!). About 75% of all orders are made-to-order in their own studio! So you can feel good about buying it, and feel good when you wear it!

I have both the Double Heart Necklace and the Signet Ring. I wanted to leave the hearts on my necklace without any personalization, because I just love the idea that the big heart is me and the little heart can be any of my three kids.

I did go with personalization on my ring (which I LOVE), because I see it a lot and it reminds me of my kids. Not like I’m away from them very often, but when I am, I have that sweet reminder.

High-quality, personalized (or not-personalized!) jewelry is a great gift to pamper a new mom, whether that’s your daughter, sister, wife, or best friend. Pick something that will be meaningful to her and watch her face light up when she opens the box!

Spa Treatment

That could be a massage, a pedicure, a manicure, a facial, or any other spa treatment that will give her a break and help her feel refreshed again. And of course, it has to come with the condition that you watch her baby and any other kids she has!

Gift Card for Coffee/Soda

Mamas love their caffeine, am I right? So give her a gift card to her favorite coffee shop! If she doesn’t drink coffee (or is trying to limit herself), get her a gift card to a soda shop or gas station (bring on the fountain drinks!). Talk about a treat!

Home Relaxation Kit

I wasn’t sure what to call this, but basically, just put together a little basket or box with some bubble bath, a bath bomb or two, a nice smelling candle, some home face masks, and a salt or sugar scrub. She can get some much-needed relaxation while baby sleeps!

Something Cozy

Slippers, fuzzy socks, new pajama pants (which, let’s face it, she’ll probably wear all day), basically anything cozy that will help her feel comfortable while she’s at home.

Food Delivery Gift Card

This could be a gift card for a food delivery service, or it could be a gift card to her favorite pizza place or fast food restaurant. Sometimes it can be so hard to cook when you’re caring for a newborn, so make life easier for her and help her treat herself at the same time!

Flowers

Is there a woman out there who doesn’t love flowers? You can drop off a bouquet on her doorstep, or if you’re in the camp who thinks that’s a waste because they’ll just die, drop off a potted plant! Orchids are great low-maintenance plants that will brighten up the new mama’s home.

Water Bottle

Drinking water is super important when you’re nursing (trust me!), so make it easier for her by gifting her a new water bottle! You can get one in her favorite color or even personalize your water bottle with some fun vinyl.

Dry Shampoo

Showering with a newborn sometimes doesn’t happen. Okay, showering with a newborn often doesn’t happen. So gift her some dry shampoo so she won’t feel grungy when those showers don’t happen! My favorite is R+Co Death Valley Dry Shampoo. It smells amazing and never leaves any white residue like some dry shampoos. Talk about pampering!

There are lots of ways to pamper a new mom, and there’s always something you can gift her to help her feel loved and cared for. Make sure you take care of the new mamas around you, because it can feel so lonely and isolating to be stuck at home with a newborn, and that’s completely the opposite of what new mamas need!

The post Gifts to Pamper a New Mom appeared first on Life With My Littles.

One thing that makes me uncomfortable is when other women talk about losing weight. I never know if I should smile and nod or deny that they do or agree that I need to, too. It makes me sad to hear other women talking about being unhappy with their bodies.

I understand where they’re coming from, having spent years battling eating disorders and body image issues. It’s easy to compare your body to another. It’s easy to talk negatively about your body and take healthy eating and exercise to an extreme.

I also fully understand that there’s a lot of pressure from the media and from our society to look a certain way. From a very early age, we’re taught that the ideal picture of beauty is tall and skinny, with big boobs, a thigh gap, and a toned butt, even if we rarely see all of those things naturally on one person. 

Having grown up with that mindset, it makes sense that after having a baby, women stress about their bodies and getting back down to their “pre-pregnancy weight.” 

I’ve done a lot of thinking about this, and want to emphasize how truly, painfully unhealthy it is to promote a culture where we use the term “baby weight” and encourage women to “get their bodies back” after childbirth. It’s unhealthy for new moms, it’s unhealthy for daughters quietly watching their moms, and it’s unhealthy for women watching each other. Nobody is winning.

Mamas, our bodies are freaking incredible. They heal themselves, they create tiny people, they feel, taste, smell, hear, and see, they grow and stretch with us throughout our lives, and I genuinely think they are a gift unlike any other. 

Tomorrow I turn 30, and I have never been so happy with my body exactly the way it is. That’s not because I’m at my thinnest or at my lowest weight, but because I have finally come to a place where I appreciate and respect my body. I am comfortable, content, and grateful. I love every stretch mark on my thighs and belly, my farmer’s tan, and how when I bend over, my stomach flaps over like jello spilling out of a bowl. It’s my body, and I love it. 

Again, it took me years to get to this place. I struggled throughout high school and college and after my first two kids were born. I was self-conscious about the way I looked in my clothes, I got on the scale multiple times a week, and I had a horrible relationship with food. I promise I know what it’s like. 

After finally getting to a place where I’m at peace with my body and I don’t worry about how much I weigh or if I lose or gain weight, I want to help other mamas get to this place, too. Think about the impact we could have on our families, friends, even society, if we all loved our bodies exactly the way they are right now.

Yeah, let that sink in for a minute.

I mean honestly, we could change the world.

And yes, it’s easier said than done. Loving your body doesn’t happen overnight and it’s definitely a journey with a lot of ups and downs. So why wait any longer? I propose starting today and using these six suggestions to help you work on loving your mom bod exactly the way it is right now.

How to Love Your Mom Bod

Look at yourself through your kids’ eyes.

Our kids think we are amazing. They don’t care whether we have makeup on and our hair is done, whether we have flabby arms, a round belly, or even if we are missing a leg. They just love us unconditionally. Physical appearance definitely doesn’t matter, or even cross their minds. So look at yourself through your kids’ eyes. There’s so much more to you than just the way you look, and you are incredible regardless of what you look like.

Ask yourself if you would want your child to say to themselves the things you say to yourself.

This one’s a biggie. You would never tell your daughter she was fat, so why do you say it to yourself? You would never tell your daughter that she needed to eat less or lose ten pounds, so why do you tell yourself those things? Some of the things we say to ourselves we would never say to our children (or anyone but ourselves). Give yourself a break and stop saying them to yourself! 

Ask yourself what you want your children to know.

If you could ensure that there was one thing they’d believe and know about their bodies as your children grew up, what would it be? I absolutely would want my kids to love their bodies, no matter what. When you love something, you take care of it, you treat it well, and you are kind to it. And if that’s what we want our kids to know, we need to start internalizing it ourselves so they can see that we believe and know it and learn from us. 

Think about all your body can do.

Our bodies breathe on their own, pump blood on their own, heal themselves without us having to think about it, and experience the world through incredible, beautiful senses. Not to mention that as women, we have the ability to grow and birth new, sweet little human beings, and then create milk to feed them! Sure, sometimes our bodies don’t work exactly the way they’re supposed to and we may not be able to have our own children or nurse our babies as long as we want, but we can still do so much more than that. Our bodies are freaking incredible, exactly the way they are right now. Your body is incredible, exactly as it is right now. 

Recognize that you won’t be happy with your body unless you decide to be happy with it. 

One of my favorite lady bosses is Alison Faulkner. On her podcast, she often says “It will never be enough until we decide it’s enough. Enough is a decision, not amount.” I absolutely think this applies to happiness with our bodies, too. We won’t ever be happy with our bodies unless we decide to be happy with them. If completely relaxing and letting go sounds hard, just start by trying it for a week. Don’t count calories or stress about exercise or even go shopping. Just eat in moderation, stay active, and be happy with where you are at. I’m not saying that you’ll lose or gain weight by doing this, but I am saying that you’ll feel healthier and won’t stress about what you’re eating or how many times you went to the gym last week. It’s freeing to decide that you are happy with your body, and it makes a huge difference in your mood, stress level, how you interact with people, and how you treat others and yourself. 

#WhyILoveMyMomBod

Our bodies, my body, YOUR BODY is amazing. We are all different and beautiful and wonderful and we are alive, creating, living, and enjoying life right now. Loving your mom body is a tough thing to do, no matter if you’re pregnant, a week postpartum, or five years postpartum. We’re all at different, wonderful stages and our bodies are all different shapes and sizes.

As I was working on this blog post, I was all fired up and I asked on Instagram if I should make a hashtag for people to join in. I don’t think it will really turn into a movement, but I’d love to share the message of this post and inspire other mamas to show off why they love their mom bod exactly the way it is right now!

If you want to join, post on Instagram using the hashtag #WhyILoveMyMomBod and share duh, why you love your mom bod! I’d love to highlight people and share as many as I can, so if you want to help spread positivity around body image, please join in!

You’ve got this, beautiful mamas! 

The post Loving Your Mom Bod #WhyILoveMyMomBod appeared first on Life With My Littles.

This post is sponsored by bamboobies®. All opinions are my own. $1 of every sale on bamboobies.com in the month of October will go to the Keep a Breast Foundation!

Last year I wrote a post all about what to expect during labor and delivery. It’s basically a big long list of things that I had no idea about before my first baby was born that would’ve been helpful to know. It’s already been viewed so many times that it’s my ninth most popular post of ALL TIME. Seriously, it’s insane. I thought that since it was so popular, it might be helpful to write a detailed post all about what to expect postpartum! I shared a few things in my labor and delivery post about the hours immediately following childbirth (you can read about delivering the placenta and getting stitches here), but I wanted to give more information and talk about what I wish I had known about the first few days and weeks postpartum, because mamas, IT GETS REAL, and you’re going to need all the help you can get.

For some reason, with my first baby, I didn’t even think about what it would be like to have a newborn. All I was focused on during my pregnancy was getting to the end and pushing him out. I didn’t prepare myself emotionally, physically, or mentally for all that would happen when I was actually holding my newborn baby in my arms. I didn’t even think about postpartum bleeding or my milk coming in or what my belly was going to look like after my son was born. My goal was just to get my son here healthy and safe, and anything else was irrelevant.

But once he was here and we were the parents of a living, breathing baby, there were a lot of things that happened that I did not expect. So looking back five years later, I have come up with this list of what to expect postpartum to help prepare any first-time mamas about to have their baby. It’s a mix of tips about what to expect in terms of your body and the changes you’ll go through and your new life and what it’s going to be like with a newborn in the house! Preparation and knowing what to expect will make a big difference in how well you adjust when the time comes!

1. After your baby is born, your sweet nurse will help you clean up. Birth is messy, and when it’s all over, you’re going to need to clean yourself up. If you had a hospital birth, your sweet L&D nurse will help you into the bathroom and she’ll show you what to do to take care of your nether regions postpartum. This includes gently rinsing off with a squirt bottle, using dermoplast spray to help ease the pain, getting some mesh cotton undies on, and putting a big giant maxi pad in your undies for the postpartum bleeding. As a first-time mom, it feels super awkward to have someone help you do something you’ve been doing on your own most of your life, but you’ll be so grateful!

2. You will probably be super thirsty and super hungry after childbirth. If you weren’t allowed to eat or drink during labor (which is standard for most hospital births), you’re going to realize that you’re ravenous and parched after things calm down. And if your baby is born in the middle of the night when the cafeteria is closed and restaurants around the hospital are closed, you might not be able to get exactly what you want. Just plan ahead, know your options, and know what you’re going to do (even if that means sending your husband out for a Big Mac!).

3. If you had an epidural and got a catheter, the first time you pee might take you a minute or two. Totally normal, but it’s hard to pee the first time post-catheter. You might have to sit there for a few minutes. Don’t be alarmed.

4. The first poop can be terrifying but actually isn’t that bad. While we’re on the subject of bodily waste, don’t stress too much about the first poop. Yes, people talk a lot about it. Yes, it can be hard. But if you take the laxatives they give you, drink lots of water, and just relax, it will happen. Just please don’t push too hard! You already did enough pushing!

5. Breastfeeding will be hard at first and you might not get it right away. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s totally normal, incredibly common, and not a reason to give up immediately. And of course, if you do decide eventually to give up breastfeeding and switch to bottle feeding, that’s totally okay, too! It’s okay if you decide not to breastfeed. The most important thing is that you figure out what’s best for you and your baby and not worry about what other people say or think.

6. Your boobs and nipples are going to HURT. Regardless of if you’re breastfeeding or not, they’re going to be extra tender and sensitive. Two lifesavers are using nipple balm and therapy pillows. The bamboobies® boob-ease® 100% Organic Nipple Balm is awesome because you just need a tiny bit, you don’t have to wipe it off before nursing again (it’s non-toxic!), and it helps soothe your sore, chapped nipples. Therapy pillows are something I didn’t discover until my third baby, but they are HEAVEN! The bamboobies®Soothing Therapy Pillows are gel-free and made of super-soft rayon from bamboo and flaxseeds (so they really feel like pillows for your boobs!). They can be heated in the microwave to soothe clogged ducts and increase milk flow or cooled in the freezer to provide therapeutic cooling to soothe sore new mama nipples and breasts. They’re seriously a lifesaver for new mama boobs. And if you’re reading this and you’re horrified by how many times I just said nipples, I apologize. But that’s postpartum life.

7. Your milk supply is going to be off the charts when it comes in, and your boobs will probably leak a lot. Until your supply adjusts (which can take a few days or a few weeks), you are going to feel giant (the word “engorged” is the official breastfeeding term) and really, really wet. Especially in the beginning, it’s important to wear nursing pads that you can change often and that you’re not going to leak through. I would definitely recommend using disposable pads (like bamboobies® EcoPure Disposable Nursing Pads because they’re both antibacterial and antimicrobial) in the beginning, and then switching to washable (if you want to switch) after you feel like you’ve adjusted and you’re not going to leak in between feedings.

8. Your body is going to cramp, feel weak, hurt, and be sore in places you didn’t even think could be sore. You just did something unthinkable. You pushed a bowling ball out of a whole the size of a golf ball. Girl, you’re going to be sore. You’re going to hurt. You’re going to be physically weak and exhausted. You’re also going to cramp as your uterus shrinks back down to size. It’s unpleasant, but it will go away.

9. Even after childbirth, you’ll have very little modesty in the hospital. Regardless of if you had a hospital birth or not, childbirth involves a lot of nudity. And just because your baby is out and you don’t have to sit there with an open hospital gown anymore, you’re still going to have very little modesty in the hospital after your baby is born. Nurses will come in to check your lady parts, nurses and lactation consultants will come in to make sure you’re breastfeeding okay, and your doctor will come in to make sure that things are looking good down south. Be ready to continue revealing yourself for a few days until you get to go home.

10. Be prepared for the nurses to come in, push on your stomach, and check your bleeding. While we’re on the subject of little modesty, this is something I really wish someone had told me to expect postpartum. To make sure your uterus is shrinking back down to size, your nurses will come in every few hours to push on your stomach and feel your uterus, and also check to see how much you’re bleeding. It’s super uncomfortable and you’ll probably hate it. They’ll also help you change the little puppy potty training pads that you get to sit on after childbirth so you don’t bleed all over the hospital beds. It’s a glamorous life, friends.

11. You’re going to have postpartum bleeding for about 4-6 weeks. It’s basically like a super long period where you’re not allowed to use tampons. As such, you’ll have to use giant maxi pads that make noise when you move. Hopefully your bleeding will be on the shorter end, but if it takes 6 weeks (or even a week longer like it did with my third), just know that it will eventually end and you won’t feel like you and your baby are both wearing diapers anymore. Although sometimes I do miss those stretchy, mesh undies!

12. You’ll have a “jello belly” for a while after your baby is born. Naturally, your belly won’t be flat and tight after your baby is born, right? In the place of your once round and stretched out belly, you now get to experience what I have affectionately termed a “jello belly.” You know how squishy jello is and how it wiggles around easily when you poke it? Imagine a skin colored bowl of jello on your stomach, and you’ve got a pretty good image of what’s going to happen to your belly. It’s normal, it will eventually get a little tighter and a little smaller, and it happens to everyone. Don’t stress about it.

13. You also won’t get much privacy in the hospital. This also comes with the whole lack of modesty thing, but there are constantly doctors and nurses coming in and out of your hospital room after you have a baby. People who want to check on you, people who want to check on your baby, and of course, if you allow it, visitors. It’s not going to be calm or quiet until you go home where you can lock the front door and really be on your own.

14. You’re going to feel like you’re feeding your baby ALL THE TIME. This is the stage I have dubbed “the milk factory” stage. When your newborn isn’t sleeping, they’ll probably be eating, and heads up, newborns take a long time to eat, and they eat a lot. Hence, you’re going to feel like a milk factory that runs almost 24/7. And if you want to cover up while feeding your baby, try using bamboobies® Chic Nursing Shawl. It’s pretty stylish so people might not even know it’s a nursing cover if you’re out in public with it (and it can be used as a car seat cover), and they just came out with an Open Nursing Shawl that is open so it looks kind of like a kimono. They both have UPF50+ protection so you can use it on sunny days and not worry about your baby getting sunburned! Because if you’re away from home for more than two hours, you’ve got to plan ahead and know that you’ll probably have to feed your baby on-the-go.

15. You can decide who you want to visit you. This is a big one that I don’t think a lot of people realize or understand. I actually have a whole post about how to handle visitors after childbirth. If you’re stressed about it, I recommend reading that post because I give a lot of tips about how to decide who can visit you, how to decide when they can visit, and being okay with the fact that you are the one who gets to say when people can come visit. To sum it up here, YOU are in charge and you shouldn’t worry about hurting someone’s feelings if you’re not ready or not feeling up to having visitors. You had the baby, not them, and it’s up to you to decide what’s best for you and your family.

16. You’re going to be exhausted. The times in my life when I’ve been the most tired physically, mentally, and emotionally all happened right after my babies were born. Since your baby eats every two hours, you have to be awake to feed them every two hours. And if they have a hard time going back to sleep after eating or their days and nights are mixed up, you’re going to be awake during those times with them. For me, this is the hardest part of having a newborn, because even though they’re cute, they require so much of your time and energy. The light at the end of the tunnel is that the newborn stage doesn’t last forever and you’ll adjust to getting less sleep (even if that means upping your caffeine intake!).

17. You will likely have very little bladder control. There is a reason they tell you to do kegels, mamas. Now I’ve shared this story before, but I feel like for the sake of keeping it real, I feel like I should repeat it here. One night when my oldest was a baby and we’d been home from the hospital for a few days, I got up to nurse him and had to go pee. I figured I’d wait and feed him first, because that was what a good mama would do. Well, of course I also had to change his diaper, and as I’m trying to hold it while changing my newborn, I emptied the entire contents of my bladder all over my feet and the carpet in front of my son’s dresser. It was humiliating, and nobody was even there to see it. The next day we went out and bought a carpet cleaner (that has come in handy MANY a time). Moral of the story, if you need to pee, go immediately. Don’t try to hold it, because after you have a baby, you may not be able to hold it.

18. You might go through a phase where you absolutely hate your husband. With all the hormones coursing through your body after having a baby, you might find yourself a little irritable. Now before I say this, know that my husband is an incredibly kind and loving man. But after my first baby was born, there were several instances when I just wanted to punch him right in his mouth. It wasn’t his fault, but those hormones, man, they are A-RAGIN’! If this happens to you, let him know how you’re feeling and that it’s just because of the hormones, then give yourself some time out or some space to cool off. And again, remember that it doesn’t last forever!

19. You won’t always know what you’re doing, and that’s okay. Having a newborn requires learning a lot of new skills fast. You have to swaddle them, bathe them, feed them, dress them, help them stop crying, change their diapers, care for every little thing they need, and take care of yourself at the same time. Sometimes, you won’t always know what you’re doing or how you’re going to get through the day (especially if your baby has colic, and if so, I feel for you!). Want to know a little secret? Nobody really knows what they’re doing! Sometimes, you’re not going to know how to help your baby stop crying. Sometimes, you’re not going to know how you can possibly cook dinner and do the laundry and sweep the floor and hold your baby at the same time. You learn something new about being a mother every single day, and just when you think you’re getting pretty good at parenting, something new will come up and you’ll be back where you started. That’s okay! That’s part of motherhood, and we all go through it. You are definitely not alone there!

20. This stage doesn’t last forever, and it does get easier. My oldest son is five, and as I write this, I still think the hardest stage of his life so far was the newborn stage. For all of the above reasons, and more. Yes, there are always going to be challenges, but at least when your child is older you’re (hopefully) sleeping more and you’re able to find time to feel like yourself again. The newborn stage only last for a few months, and then things start getting easier. That might sound like a long time when you’re right at the beginning, but it goes by so fast, and before you know it, your baby is turning one (cheesy, I know). So hang in there, keep trying, and know that it WILL get easier!

21. Colic is real, it sucks, and it eventually ends. Until my third baby was born, my husband and I didn’t think colic was a big deal. But guys, that kid cried for six weeks straight, and it was SO HARD. I was exhausted, my body was still recovering from childbirth, I had two older kids to take care of, and nothing I did would get him to stop crying. From two weeks to eight weeks, I was a hot, stressed-out mess. But at eight weeks he magically stopped crying and it was like my baby was a completely new little person. So if you’re in the colic boat and you feel like you’re drowning, don’t worry. The hole in your boat will get plugged up and you’ll be afloat again soon.

22. Postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and postpartum psychosis are serious business. I’m so glad that some of the stigmas are starting to be removed from mental health disorders, because they are SO COMMON and they won’t get better unless you admit something’s wrong and you tell someone. If you feel off, don’t disregard it. This post has more tips if you think you might be suffering. Mamas, please, please, please don’t ignore these postpartum disorders. You can always get help if you’re suffering!

23. Don’t expect your body to bounce back quickly. I assumed that after I had my first baby I wouldn’t immediately go back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but what I didn’t realize was that it takes a long time and a lot of work to feel like your body is yours again. I never lost the “baby weight” with my second baby, and even now 20 months after my third baby was born, I still have extra, saggy skin on my belly. That’s fine! I don’t think that worrying about the number on the scale is healthy, but I do think that feeling good in your body and loving it is important. Your body made you a human being, so please be nice to it and appreciate it instead of feeling down on it. And NEVER call yourself fat postpartum. Every new mom goes through this stage. And definitely, definitely don’t compare your body to anyone else’s. With your postpartum hormones a-ragin’, that will only cause you pain. And please, don’t look for quick fixes. Don’t do anything drastic to try and get your pre-pregnancy body back. No juice cleanses, no stupid fad diets, no dumb belly wraps. Just eat healthy, exercise, drink enough water, and love every single inch of your body. You only get one body and you need to love it and take care of it.

Postpartum life is hard. With all the emotions and physical pain and major life changes you’re going through, it’s going to be hard. But we all go through it, it gets easier, and your sweet baby is absolutely worth it. Try not to compare yourself or your baby to others in your life or in the media. My friend Jen summed it up perfectly when she said, “You know what is best for you and your baby. Don’t fall slave to the judgement society gives.” Mamas, you are the exact right mother your baby needs. They were sent to you for a reason. You have the final say in whether you breastfeed them or not. You will be able to tell if they aren’t walking at 14 months because they have a development problem or if they’re just a late walker. You know what’s best for them. Take care of yourself, trust yourself, and love your baby. The fourth trimester only lasts for a few months, and you’re going to be out of it before you know it!

The post What to Expect Postpartum appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Before we even get pregnant, women get told that after having a baby, we have to lose the baby weight.

Think for a minute about how wrong that is.

Before we even get pregnant and experience all the ups and downs of pregnancy, it is drilled into our minds that as soon as pregnancy is over and we become mothers with endless responsibilities, we need to get back down to our pre-pregnancy weight.

Mamas, that is so wrong. It’s so wrong, so damaging, so ignorant, and so outrageous. Getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight, whether it’s a month after you have a baby or a few years later, should absolutely not be something causing you stress.

Pregnancy does a lot of crazy things to your body. It stretches you, it weighs you down, it scars you, it physically and sometimes emotionally hurts, and at the end of it all, your body does something you never in 1,000 years thought you could do. And the body changes don’t stop there. Motherhood also does a lot of crazy things to your body. It softens you, it strengthens you, it drains you, and it shapes you, both literally and figuratively.

Our bodies are absolutely incredible, inside and out, and the things we go through to bring children into this world and then raise them are nothing short of miraculous.

So why in the world do we worry about such a stupid thing as a number on a scale? Why do we put so much pressure on that number that it can literally cause women to break?

Now I know you might be thinking, “But Chelsea, it’s easy for you to say this because you’re thin. You don’t know what it’s like to be big.”

Just because someone is thin, doesn’t mean they haven’t struggled with their weight. Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a tall girl with a high metabolism. From the time she was little, she heard women talk about things they needed to change on their bodies and saw images of women in the media who were stick-thin and “beautiful.” As she got older, she thought she needed to be those things, too. So she skipped meals and ate as little as she could, and when she ate a normal, healthy meal, she would hide in the bathroom afterwards and throw it up. When she gave modeling a try, an agent told her she needed to lose a few more inches around her waist if she wanted to get hired for jobs. The idea of stick-thin beauty had become so ingrained in her mind that even though she was already underweight, she looked in the mirror and didn’t think she was skinny enough. This continued for several years off and on until she got pregnant with her first baby. She realized the impact her actions could have, and she was finally able to stop the cycle. It took several years after that until she finally got to a place that she could see the role her damaging self-talk and beliefs about beauty had played in her life, and then several more years to really accept, take care of, and love the body she had been given.

I don’t want this to be your story. I don’t want this to be my daughter’s story. I wish this wasn’t my story.

So today, right now, I’m telling you that the number on the scale is not important. It’s not important before you get pregnant, it’s not important while you’re pregnant, and it’s definitely not important in those difficult postpartum days. It’s not important when your baby is 1 or 5 or 10. Your weight is not important.

What is important is how you feel; how you feel in your body, regardless of what other people might think. It might take a while to figure out how to feel good about your body, but you can 100% get there. You’re never going to be happy with your body unless you decide to be happy with your body. Let me repeat that. YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR BODY UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR BODY. You need to decide today, right now, to love and take care of your body. Mamas, we have AMAZING bodies. We have the magnificent ability to create life and bring it into this world. Your weight doesn’t make you beautiful the same way being rich doesn’t make you happy. There’s no one form of beauty, and we are all beautiful if we choose to believe it.

What we believe about our bodies, whether we say it out loud or not, is contagious, and whether you’re passing it on to your children, a friend, or even a stranger, people will notice and internalize it. But that’s not the point of this post. I don’t care what other people think about my body, and neither should you. The point of this post is that I’m no longer concerned with getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and you shouldn’t be either.

Honestly, the last time I got on the scale was at the doctor, and our scale at home is collecting dust in the bathroom closet because I don’t care what the number says anymore.

All that matters is how I feel, and I can choose to feel good about it and love it and embrace every stretch mark and scar, or I can choose to put myself down and want to change my body and how I look. We have that choice. And judging your current body by your pre-pregnancy weight is an absolute joke.

After all, motherhood makes you stronger, and muscle weights more than fat, right?

The post Why I’m No Longer Concerned with Getting Back to My Pre-Pregnancy Weight appeared first on Life With My Littles.

I recently visited my sister after her second baby was born, and instead of feeling baby hungry after I left, I was reminded of how hard the first few weeks and months with a newborn are. You’re exhausted, your body hurts and doesn’t feel normal, and you’re mentally trying to adjust to the fact that there’s a tiny little person living in your house whose life is 100% in your hands. It’s flat out hard.

We’re especially vulnerable and sensitive in the weeks after having a baby, and it can be hard to stay positive and not feel weighed down. I think back to when my babies were all born, and even though I didn’t suffer from postpartum depression, there were definitely moments of doubt, sadness, and anxiety, especially during the months our youngest had colic.

Today, I want to talk to all new moms and tell them what I wish someone would have told me. Here are 7 things all new moms need to hear after having a baby:

1. Don’t stress about your body. I mean it. Don’t compare your body to anyone else’s, love it for what it is and what it has done, and be grateful for what it is and what it has done. Your body is AMAZING, and the last thing you should be thinking about after having a baby is what you look like in the mirror. Don’t even think about dieting or about getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight, and don’t step on a scale or try to fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans for at least a few months postpartum.  The first few weeks and months after having a baby are not the time to worry about your weight. All women who have ever given birth in the history of forever have had that weird wiggly belly for a while, and unless you’re a movie star and can afford to have a personal chef and personal trainer, it’s going to stick around for a while. Not only is that normal, it is what should be expected without any thoughts or comments from yourself or anyone else.

2. Ask for help. Girl, you’re going to need help. Whether it’s asking a fellow mom or your own mom for advice, asking a teenager to come babysit for an hour so you can go to the grocery store, or even asking a neighbor to grab you some milk while they’re at the store because you’re out, help is good. And you’re going to need help whether it’s your first baby or your third baby (trust me). We all need help, and we should all be willing to give help to any new mom who asks, or even who doesn’t ask.

3. Read about postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety so you’ll recognize the warning signs in yourself. Postpartum depression and postpartum depression are so real, and it’s almost unfair that you can have that added trial during your baby’s first year of life. They’re more than just feeling sad or stressed, and they are very, very treatable. You should never suffer “just one more day,” because that one more day is one more day of suffering. So be aware of the warning signs and tell someone close to you if you think you might be suffering.

4. It’s okay if it feels hard. It is. Something we do in our society is that we highlight good feelings and shame bad feelings. It’s almost there’s an unspoken rule that you’re not allowed to feel bad about things. I mean when was the last time you asked someone how they were and they told you they were bad? Mamas, being a new mom is hard, and it’s okay to feel that feeling. I’d actually be surprised if you didn’t feel that way. Even with my first baby, who was my easiest, there were still times where motherhood felt really hard. Acknowledge that it’s okay to have that feeling, feel it, and then try to figure out what to do to make things better. I promise it will get better, and you’ll get through it, one day at a time.

5. It’s okay if you feel lost and unsure. We all do. When you’re a new, first-time mom, you’re beginning on a journey you’ve never been on before. You’re going to come up against challenges you never expected and questions you don’t have the answers to. But I believe with all my heart that you are the only perfect mother for your child, and you are the one who is best suited and best equipped to take care of them. So even if you feel lost and unsure, that’s okay. We’ve all been there. Turn to friends, your pediatrician, your mom, or even Facebook to ask your questions. Someone out there will have the answers you’re looking for.

6. It’s okay if you don’t immediately bond with your baby. You will. You hear stories of moms who see their baby for the first time and immediately feel this explosive, all-encompassing love for them. But you should know that for a lot of moms, it doesn’t happen that way. It might take a few days or maybe even longer to feel that bond with your child. But rest assured, it will come. Just keep trying and never, ever give up. Your baby will be patient.

7. You’re not alone. You might feel like you’re alone because you’re stuck at home with a tiny baby and haven’t spoken to an another adult in hours, but you’re not. You might feel alone when you’re nursing your newborn every two hours during the night while your husband sleeps soundly in bed next to you, but somewhere, there’s another mama doing the exact same thing and feeling the exact same way. Motherhood doesn’t alienate us, it connects us together. When you become a mother, you join this tribe of women all around the world and throughout all history, all of whom have gone through the same things. Your’e not alone, because you’re a mother, and we all have each other’s backs. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I think it also takes a village to raise a mother. We need each other, and even though our families might not look exactly the same, we’re all just doing our best to raise the best people we can. We’re all in this together.

Being a new mom is hard.  I’ll definitely give you that one. But before you know it, you’ll be an experienced, seasoned mom and you’ll be the one helping new, younger moms who need to hear what you’ve learned. Hopefully at least one of these things all new moms need to hear after having a baby has spoken to you. I truly believe every single one, and I hope if you’re a new mom reading this, you’re starting to feel a little more hopeful already! Good luck, mamas! You’ve got this!

The post Things All New Moms Need to Hear After Having a Baby appeared first on Life With My Littles.

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When you have a brand new baby, the last thing you want is someone knocking on your door empty-handed. If someone is coming over to visit and you have to take the time to put actual clothes on, they better be bringing something good!

Okay, I’m obviously kidding (a little), but in all seriousness, having a baby is rough, and if you’re planning on visiting a new mom, you should absolutely bring her a gift! Not sure what to bring? Here are some suggestions of gifts to bring a new mom from real life moms (which, duh, includes me!):

1. A soft, nursing friendly robe. Something she can wear around the house, feel cute in, and be super comfortable in (something like this).

2. Flowers. A bouquet, a pot, or even a cute succulent (I know, not technically flowers). Every woman likes getting flowers!

3. A meal. Whether it’s a hot meal ready-to-serve, or a freezer meal she can heat up later, bringing a meal means one less meal she has to prepare!

4. Chocolate. Self-explanatory. I love these.

5. A bath bomb or face mask. Something she can pamper herself with when baby is sleeping! This bath bomb gift box and this Dead Sea mud mask both have crazy good reviews on Amazon!

6. Diapers. Can’t ever go wrong giving a new mom diapers! Our favorites for newborns are Pampers Swaddlers!

7. A book. Newborns eat a LOT, and it is nice to have something to read while nursing! Some of my favorites are The Magic of Motherhood, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, and my own book, Preggers.

8. Paper plates. One of my friends suggested this one and I thought it was GENIUS! Taking care of a newborn is exhausting, and when your baby is napping you absolutely don’t want to be doing dishes. So give her some paper plates! Again, GENIUS!

9. Any kind of dessert. I know I already included chocolate on the list, but this deserves it’s own suggestion. Cookies, brownies, cupcakes, really anything to satisfy her sweet tooth. They don’t even have to be homemade!

10. A few groceries and recipes to make easy meals. Another friend suggested this, and I loved it! Bring some easy recipes and buy all the ingredients to make them so she doesn’t have to go to the store and she can whip up something fast and easy. Another suggestion in this realm are rolls, deli meat and cheese, and fruit and veggie trays!

11. A giant caffeinated soda or coffee. Again, self-explanatory. You’ll be a hero.

12. Anything to help postpartum. Tucks pads, maxi pads, Dermoplast spray. Check out this post for more ideas. Maybe only bring these ones to close friends, though!

13. An offer to sit with older kids so mom can get a break. You can even offer to take the older kids to the park or the zoo! My mom used to do this for ladies who had babies at church, and looking back now, I’m sure they appreciated the break!

There are tons of gifts to bring a new mom that will help her out and make the transition to life with a newborn a little easier. Hopefully at least one of these suggestions caught your eye! And remember, don’t stay too long, either!!!

The post Practical Gifts to Bring a New Mom appeared first on Life With My Littles.

We all know babies are adorable. And as your kids get older, you’re probably going to get a hankering for a new baby. Yes, they are squishy and soft and smell good, but there’s a lot more to having a baby than newborn snuggles and tiny pajamas. Here are a few things to remember when you get baby hungry:

1. You have to be pregnant first. Ugh. Nine months of discomfort, peeing all the time, not sleeping well, nausea, food aversions, swelling, and gas. It’s like self-inflicted torture that lasts for nine months.

2. You have to give birth. Obviously. And whether you have a natural birth or get an epidural, the labor and delivery process is hard.

3. Postpartum life is hard. Bleeding, cramps, hormones, engorgement. There are so many hard things that happen to your body postpartum. Any time in your life that you wince when you go to the bathroom is not going to be too pleasant.

4. You won’t get any sleep. Having a newborn in the house is exhausting. They have to eat every 2-3 hours, which means you won’t sleep longer than 2-3 hours for the first few weeks.

5. You’ll turn into a human milk factory. Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience, except for when it’s not. The best way to describe those early, frequent feedings is to say that you feel like a human milk factory. Mooooo!

6. You’ll have to buy so many diapers. So, so many. I hope you took out that second mortgage on your house.

7. You’ll have to change so many diapers. So, so many. You will wonder how something so tiny and sweet can produce something so foul and disgusting. Baby poop is gross at every stage of feeding.

8. Babies are expensive. Even if you have a few hand-me-downs or are are lucky enough to be gifted things at your baby shower, you’re still going to have to buy a lot of new things for your baby. They’re small, but they need a lot of stuff!

9. Babies turn into toddlers who turn into school-aged kids who turn into teenagers. They might be cute at first, but then they start becoming independent and then they think potty-humor is funny and then they start talking back and wanting nothing to do with you. No, thank you.

10. Going out to eat with a baby is impossible. Have you ever tried to go out to eat with a baby? Either they want to nurse or they are tired and cranky or they just want to be held and then they try to grab everything on the table. Even if they are bigger and eat solid foods, you still have to try and keep them entertained for an hour or more while you’re out. Which, by the way, I still sometimes struggle with (thank goodness for drive-thrus!).

So yeah, babies are adorable and it can be easy to fall into the trap of wanting your own when you see cute babies that your friends have. But before making such a big commitment based on the fact that you like babies, maybe just ask your friend if you can babysit for an afternoon. Then you can send that sweet little babe home and get yourself a good night’s sleep!

The post Things to Remember When You Get Baby Hungry appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Guess what! Today is our eighth wedding anniversary! Hooray! It feels like forever ago that we got married, but at the same time it feels like it’s gone by so fast! Time is so weird, you guys.

To celebrate, I thought it would be fun to do a post all about marriage post-kids! My husband and I have gotten really good at maximizing the time we spend together after the kids go to bed (because we kind of have to be!). Here are some date night ideas for after the kids go to bed:

1. Play board games. One of our favorite things to do is play board games together. My husband’s favorite is a game called Dominion, but he’s also incredibly good at Monopoly. Our friends introduced us to the game Agricola (which is a farming game so we love it), and that’s a fun one for couples. Just Google “board games for couples” and you’ll find tons of good ones!

2. Have fun with apps. One of the best $2 I’ve ever spent was for Face Swap Live. My husband and I have spent hours on this app, swapping out our faces for each other’s, with pictures in our house, and even with toys. It’s just so dang funny! We also recently discovered a karaoke app and had a lot of fun doing karaoke together (“Love Is An Open Door” anyone?) and taking turns singing, too. When you find a good one, it can provide hours of entertainment!

3. Try out a date in a box. There are a lot of different “date night in a box” options out there, so there’s bound to be one out there that’s perfect for you! My husband and I tried Unbox Love a few months ago and that was a pretty fun one. They are perfect for after the kids go to bed because they usually provide everything you need and it’s something new and exciting to try!

4. Order food in. One thing that I really like doing is picking up food (or having it delivered) after the kids are in bed. That way, you don’t have to buy them food, and you can get whatever type of food you want! We love getting Indian food, but it’s not one cuisine that our kids particularly enjoy, so we usually get it after they are in bed and eat it while watching a TV show or movie. Plus, if you get dessert, you don’t have to share with your kids!

5. Have a theme night. I planned a fun “Italian night” once where we ate Italian food, had cannolis and Italian sodas, and watched the movie “The Italian Job.” It was super easy to plan and my husband appreciated the time I put into planning it. You can try a theme based on a movie (“Harry Potter” night would definitely be a winner in our house!), a country, or even the spa!

6. Lay on the grass and look at the stars outside. Obviously you can’t really do this when it’s cold out, but if you live somewhere where you can see the stars clearly (aka, not a giant city), then this one can be really romantic!

7. Read a book together. This one probably isn’t for everybody, but my husband and I read a book together for a class in college once and it was kind of fun! Pick a short book or a long book and then talk about it! It’s like your own little book club!

8. Do a puzzle. It might make you feel like you’re 100 years old, but doing a puzzle together can be a fun, relaxing activity. Pick one you can finish in a night, or one that you can do over a few nights. Either way, choose it together and have fun putting it together.

9. Cook together or have a cooking competition. You can either make a nice dinner together from the same recipe, or make it a little more interesting and do something like Iron Chef or Cupcake Wars. You can even have one of you make dinner and the other made dessert and then enjoy them together. The possibilities are endless!

10. Paint. We don’t do this very often, but it’s fun when we do! I have a nice watercolor set and painting together can be really calming. And it’s fun to see what the other person paints! My husband painted Minnesota and we still have it hanging on the fridge!

Just because you have kids and don’t get to go out as often doesn’t mean you can’t have quality time together at home! There are a lot of fun things you can do at home together to make it feel like you’re on a date. There’s more to life than just Netflix and chill, friends! So choose one of these date night ideas for after the kids go to bed and surprise your hubby with a nice night in. You’ll both be so glad you did!

And happy anniversary to my husband!

The post Date Night Ideas for After the Kids Go to Bed appeared first on Life With My Littles.

No matter how many kids you have, the newborn stage is always hard. You have a brand new tiny person to take care of who depends on you for absolutely everything, you’re hormonal, your body is jiggly in all the wrong places, and you’re probably completely exhausted from sleep deprivation and adjusting to your new life. Like I said, it’s hard.

So when your husband asks if you want to head to dinner a week after your baby is born, it’s understandable if you immediately start crying and sobbing, “no!” over and over again. Been there, girlfriend. Today I want to share some tips for leaving the house with a newborn so that you can handle the stress, feel prepared, and enjoy leaving the house and getting some fresh air with your new little babe!

1. Check your bag to make sure it’s stocked EVERY TIME. I mean this. It’s embarrassing how many times I’ve been out and realized that I don’t have any diapers or I only have one wipe left. Poor Little R had to wear his big sister’s size 4 diapers a few times as a newborn. I learned this one the hard way. So make sure you’ve got everything you need before you leave the house so you won’t ever get stuck in a one-wipe-to-clean-up-a-massive-newborn-blowout kind of situation.

2. Bring an extra outfit, diapers, wipes, and plastic bag everywhere you go. I don’t know if it’s just my kids or maybe something I’m doing wrong or just bad timing, but each of my kids had an affinity for pooping out while we were in public. I can’t even tell you how many times I had to change a poopout on the passenger seat of my van.

3. You’ll probably have to feed your newborn when you’re out, so be prepared. Either bring a bottle and formula or a nursing cover. Or if you don’t care about being covered, just bring yourself. Just make sure you’re ready to feed your baby because newborns eat a lot!

4. Bring sanitizer and sanitizing wipes. The only time I really stress about germs is when I have a newborn in the house. And going out of the house, where germs are everywhere, makes me nervous. So bring some sanitizer for yourself and some sanitizing wipes (in case you need to wipe something down). It will give you peace of mind and help you relax a little about your baby getting some awful disease.

5. Keep your trip short. This one kind of depends on you and your baby, but personally, with a newborn, I don’t ever leave the house for more than a few hours. It’s hard to be out with your baby that long, and I usually like to just go out while my baby sleeps in their car seat. Again, this is based on preference, but at least start with short trips and work your way up to longer ones.

6. Wear your baby or keep them in the car seat with a cover. People LOVE babies. It’s fine, but when you have a really cute tiny newborn, people always want to reach out and touch them, which I am not fine with. So either wear your baby and keep them covered, or keep them in their car seat with a cover over it. That way, you won’t tempt strangers with your cute, squishy baby.

7. Don’t go somewhere super busy unless you think you can handle it. Let’s get real here. The first place we went after Little R was born was Lowe’s. He was a week old, and I was fine with it because it was close, not super busy, and it wasn’t a huge outing. Three weeks after he was born, my mother-in-law came into town and she and my husband wanted to go downtown and check out the Riverwalk and see the Alamo and stuff. I thought I was going to be okay with it, but with Little R’s colic and my sleep deprivation, I ended up having a breakdown in the car and realized that I absolutely could not handle the stress of going downtown with my newborn. Seriously, baby steps (with both time and type of trip) are key when you’re going to go somewhere with a newborn. Start with small things and work up to the big things, otherwise, you might have a panic attack in the backseat of your minivan.

Hopefully those seven tips for leaving the house with a newborn help you out as you come home from the hospital and try to get into a routine with your perfect new baby! Having a newborn is incredible, and as long as you prepare, going places with them can be a nice way to get out of the house and get some fresh air! Good luck, mamas!

The post Tips for Leaving the House with a Newborn appeared first on Life With My Littles.

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When I was pregnant with my first baby, I thought childbirth was going to be the hard part. I didn’t have any idea what to expect postpartum, and honestly I thought it would be all rainbows and butterflies getting to snuggle my sweet newborn day and night.

Fast forward to today. I’ve had three kids and I know the realities of postpartum are brutal. Your lady parts hurt, your boobs hurt, you can’t poop, you’re exhausted, and you have a tiny human being to take care of. It can be brutal.

Having the right supplies on hand once you get home from the hospital can make a world of difference. You’re definitely not going to want to be running to the store with a brand new baby as soon as you get home! Here are twelve postpartum essentials to help you get through the first few weeks of motherhood:

1. Extra long, extra absorbent maxi pads with wings. Basically, you want as much coverage and protection as possible. They give you some at the hospital, but you’re for sure going to want to have some ready to go once you get home. And I’ve heard that if you put a little bit of water and witch hazel on them and put them in the freezer for a bit, they feel divine.

2. Cooling nursing pads. Something like these will really help your poor new mama boobies. Whether you plan on breastfeeding or not, your breasts and nipples are going to be sore. These are a lifesaver.

3. Nursing pads. I would definitely recommend going with disposable in the beginning while your supply is adjusting. You are going to feel super full, you’ll probably leak, and you will need to change them at least every day. If you want a more eco-friendly option, you can use washable ones, but I wouldn’t use them until you’ve adjusted and stopped leaking.

4. Witch hazel. Here is the exact thing they sent me home from the hospital with when I had my first two babies. They are large circular pads that are pre-moistened with witch hazel. I didn’t have these with my third, and I regretted it. The witch hazel helps soothe your sore lady parts which is a must right after you’ve just pushed a baby out of there.

5. Dermoplast. This is a topical pain relieving spray they might give you in the hospital (they didn’t for one of the times I was there) that you can spray down there and it helps relieve some of the pain. If you aren’t sensing a trend here, you basically want all the pain relief you can get!

6. Comfy clothes. As much as you might want to be back into your skinny jeans and tight shirts after having a baby, it’s going to take a while. After my third I bought some yoga pants to wear that were actually cute so I still felt like I looked good. Best decision ever.

7. Cheap undies. Another one of my favorite things the hospital gave me were mesh brief style undies. They were super stretchy and light, held the giant maxi pads in place well, and I didn’t feel bad about tossing them after my kids were born. I know they aren’t the sexiest things in the world, but they are just what you need after having a baby.

8. Nursing bra with no underwire. Or if you aren’t planning on nursing, just a regular bra without underwire. You’re going to need something super soft and comfortable that’s extra supportive for your new friends. It’s recommended not to wear underwire for the first 3-4 months because it can cause plugged ducts and infections (which you obviously don’t want), so just get one without underwire for the beginning.

9. Stool softener. I don’t think this needs much of an explanation. I’ll just let you know that you don’t want to be straining postpartum.

10. Lanolin. If you’re planning on breastfeeding, you’re going to want a tube of this. I love the Lansinoh kind because you can use such a small amount and it lasts forever. Definitely get some of this to protect those sore little nipples as they adjust to breastfeeding.

11. Peri bottle. You aren’t going to be able to wipe for a little bit, and with the postpartum “period” you’ll get, you’re going to want to stay clean. A peri bottle filled with warm water is a much better way to get clean!

12. Water bottle. This one might not seem like it’s specific to postpartum, but you HAVE TO make sure you drink enough water. I didn’t and I got kidney stones when my third was three months and it sucked. You absolutely do not want to get dehydrated. Honestly, I can’t stress this one enough. DRINK WATER, MAMA!

Well there you have it! My complete list of postpartum essentials to help you survive that crazy postpartum life. Make sure you take care of yourself, listen to your body and that mama intuition, and enjoy having a newborn!

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