Hey mamas! Welcome to the thirty-sixth post in my Honest Birth series! I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring my sister’s friend Amy Balaich. Amy is 25 years old, and she and her husband have been married for almost three years. Amy graduated from BYU with a degree in Elementary Education and her husband is working on a degree in Chemical Engineering. Today Amy is sharing the birth story of her first baby, who was born in August during the coronavirus pandemic. If you’re currently pregnant and wondering what birth is going to be like in the middle of a pandemic, this is a great story to read!

Read to read her daughter’s birth story? Here we go!

The Birth Story of Juliet Balaich

I elected to be induced at 39 weeks and 5 days. My other option would have been to wait to be induced at 40 weeks and 4 days if I didn’t go into labor on my own. However, that day also happened to be the first day of a new semester for my husband, who is a full-time student. Given my mom’s and sisters’ histories of going past their due dates, I figured that I was unlikely to go into labor on my own anyway, so I decided to go with the earlier induction and I am SO glad I did! 

They had us check in to the hospital at 6:30 pm on Tuesday, August 25. As we left our house that night, it was pretty surreal to think that the next time we came home would be with our baby. At the hospital, we were put in a super spacious room that we stayed in for labor, delivery, and recovery, which was so convenient. The nurse came and talked to us and then put Cervidil up near my cervix. Cervidil is like a small tampon impregnated with medicine that would stay there overnight to ripen my cervix. She also drew some of my blood, put an IV into my left hand, and hooked up external heartbeat and contraction monitors on my belly. I got a few hours of sleep from about 11 pm-2 am. Between the discomfort of having to carry all the monitors with me to go to the bathroom, and the nervousness that started kicking in, I didn’t sleep as soundly after 2 am. It was fun to watch the contraction monitor because it helped me start to recognize when they were happening. When I would start to feel my belly getting tight, I’d look at the monitor and sure enough, the numbers were rising rapidly. I had felt a mild version of that sensation a few times while pregnant, but never recognized it as a contraction! When the nurse came in and asked me how I was doing, she seemed shocked that I wasn’t feeling pain and had been able to sleep because she said I was having some pretty strong ones. 

Around 6:20 am, the new nurse took out my Cervidil. She was in touch with my OB and said he wanted to start me on Pitocin, so she went to get it and started me on 4 milliunits through my IV. She said they would increase that by 4 every half hour up to 20 milliunits, as long as the baby was tolerating it. My OB came in around 7:45 am, checked my cervix and said it was dilated to a 2.5 or a tight 3. He also used a hook to break my water, which was super uncomfortable having him reach up inside me and then to feel the gush of warm fluid coming out. Then he had to reach up there again to attach a heartbeat monitor to the top of the baby’s head, and another monitor to more accurately measure the intensity of the contractions than the external one I had on overnight. That encounter was honestly one of the most painful parts of the whole labor experience. Cervical checks are quite uncomfortable and that one was especially so because it was so much longer and more intense. I was happy when that was all over. 

However, by that point, my Pitocin was up to about 16 milliunits, plus my water was now broken. Contractions became so painful all of a sudden. Whereas they were at most uncomfortable during the night and even during the early doses of Pitocin, the pain suddenly hit like a ton of bricks. I think I tolerated the contractions for about a half hour before deciding that I might as well get the epidural – if I was going to get it, why wait and put myself through more pain? I told my nurse and she came back with the anesthesiologist maybe 20 or 30 minutes later. He explained everything and then had me sit up and hang my legs off the side of my hospital bed. The nurse and my husband both came and stood in front of me to help support me. He had me kind of slouch and arch my back out, like an angry Halloween cat (his words). I could feel small stings as he numbed me locally, and then I felt a little pressure when he was putting in the epidural needle. He could tell right away that it wasn’t quite placed right, so he had to take it out and do that process all over again. Hearing that something had gone wrong (even though it wasn’t anything major) must have freaked me out a little bit because I got really sweaty and a little nauseous. The nurse brought me a barf bag and held it by my mouth, but I took some deep breaths and the feeling passed. He numbed me and then replaced it and put in the tube. I laid back down and my legs started to feel warm and tingly, then gradually went more and more numb, though they continued to have a slight tingle throughout my whole labor. By then it was about 10:15 am and I was dilated to a 4.

Even though it was weird to be totally numb in the legs and unable to move much, I was so happy to have the epidural in and felt much more at ease. My husband and I got to relax and watch some TV. The nurse checked me again around 11 am and I was at 6 centimeters. Sometime after that, I started noticing that I was feeling the pain of the contractions again, though not as much as before the epidural. I was still on the same fairly low dose that the anesthesiologist had started me on, so I called my nurse and she told me to press the green button that would give me some more epidural anesthesia. She told me that I could press that button as often as every 10 minutes or so if I needed relief. 

Then at 12:30 pm, the nurse came back in and checked me, and said “Wow, the baby’s head is right there.” She felt around a bit more and said “Okay, you are at a 10!” I was honestly so shocked that some tears sprang to my eyes. I couldn’t believe it! I felt like she had just barely checked me at a 6, and I expected it to take so much longer! It made sense why I had been feeling contraction pain through the epidural though; things were progressing so quickly and my contractions must have been really intense! The nurse said she was going to notify my OB and that a bunch of other nurses and people would be coming in and out of our room to get things ready for me to push about 10 minutes later. 

Around 12:55 pm, everything had been set up in the room and my OB gave my nurse the go-ahead to have me start pushing even though he wasn’t there yet. She and my husband helped me prop my legs up, and they each stood on one side of the bed to hold them up since they felt like dead weight to me. She explained that each time a contraction came, she would have me take a deep breath and then hold my breath and push while she counted to 10. We would do that 3 times in quick succession on each contraction, then take a break until the next one. Pushing was really hard at first because I was very numb and really couldn’t feel what I was doing. 

Overall, pushing went really smoothly and I didn’t feel any pain at all. It was tiring to strain so hard and hold my breath on the pushes, but being numb from the epidural and having breaks in between each contraction made it totally manageable. My OB arrived around 2 pm, after an hour of pushing. He was super energetic and loudly encouraged me on each push with chants of “Keep pushing! Push harder! Give it everything you’ve got!” which was actually incredibly motivating. I had no sense of where things were at and expected to be pushing for much longer, but my OB said the head was right there but a little too big for the outlet, so he wanted to make a small episiotomy to guide the tear that was already starting to happen down low. He asked if that was okay and since I trust my OB, I agreed, even though I have mixed feelings about episiotomies.

I kept pushing on each contraction, being cheered on by my OB and my husband, and my baby girl was born at 2:24 pm. After her head came out, the rest of her came right out really quickly. I was so shocked when I opened my eyes and saw my OB holding her and heard her first little cries. I immediately started crying because I couldn’t believe she was finally here. My OB said, “This is a big baby!” They took her to do some tests, while my OB quickly delivered my placenta and said, “Well, you’re officially no longer pregnant!” Then he had to press down really hard on my belly and it was so painful for some reason. The nurses and people doing the tests on my baby and wiping her off announced that she weighed 9 pounds even. I was shocked that I had just delivered such a big baby! My OB began stitching me up, and my husband stood by me and told me what a great job I did. They brought her to me while he was finishing up stitching, and I got to hold her on my chest. That made tears stream down my face all over again. The emotion of holding her for the first time was overwhelming. While I was pregnant, I had this irrational worry that I wouldn’t love her right away, but I loved her the second they laid her on me and I saw her beautiful, tiny face. I felt so proud of myself in that moment for everything my body had accomplished. We named her Juliet and she is the perfect addition to our family. 

I was absolutely TERRIFIED of giving birth for most of my life, and although I have always wanted to be a mom, I had always questioned whether I would be strong and brave enough to do something that scary. People kept telling me that I was stronger than I thought and that birth would be surprisingly natural, and they were actually right. It was not nearly as scary as I had always imagined. For me personally, having an epidural was 100% the right choice because it made the task of delivering a baby so much less daunting. Everything went so smoothly and I felt incredibly blessed! My little Juliet is even more perfect and beautiful than I ever hoped or imagined, and every part of the labor process was absolutely worth it to bring her into the world. ♥ 

*Note about delivering during COVID-19 pandemic: I was allowed 2 visitors, but only one at a time, meaning that if someone else came to visit me, my husband would have to leave temporarily. I didn’t like that idea, so I had my husband stay with me the whole time and didn’t have anyone else visit. My husband was free to come and go from the hospital as he pleased. The hospital policy asked us to wear masks whenever a hospital staff member entered our room, but all of our nurses were super understanding and told us we didn’t need to worry. We still tried to adhere to the policy most of the time, but I definitely didn’t wear a mask while I was pushing!! 

Wasn’t that great? Amy gave such great details, and I could really feel her emotion when her daughter was born! Thanks so much to Amy for sharing her story on the Honest Birth series! If you want to reach out to her, you can follow her on Instagram at @amy.balaich. I’ve got a few more coronavirus birth stories on deck, so keep checking back!

The post Honest Birth #36 featuring Amy Balaich appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Hey mamas! Welcome to the thirty-fifth post in my Honest Birth series! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve featured someone, and I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring my friend Kaylee Jones. Kaylee was one of my sister’s good friends growing up, and I’ve known both her and her husband for almost 15 years! Kaylee and her high school sweetheart-turned-husband Scott have three kids and live in Colorado. Today Kaylee is sharing the birth story of her first boy, who was born just a few months ago during the coronavirus pandemic. If you’re currently pregnant and wondering what birth is going to be like in the middle of all this madness, this is a great story to read!

Read to read her son’s birth story? Here we go!

The Birth Story of Carter Jones

My husband, Scott, and I have two little girls, an 8 year old and an almost 6 year old. We had our little boy 2 months ago. We wanted more children, but because of certain circumstances we hesitated. We prayed often to know when we should plan to try and have more kids. About 2 years ago we received a very clear impression that we were ready. It took us a year of trying before we were able to get pregnant. We hadn’t struggled to get pregnant before, therefore it was a very hard year full of tears, questions, and prayers. We were thrilled when we finally found out we were pregnant in September of 2019. We had no idea about some of the other trials and struggles we would soon face with bringing a baby into the world in 2020 during the worldwide Coronavirus Pandemic.

I had a fairly easy pregnancy, other than dealing with migraines during the 1st trimester and some early contractions, which is normal for me (having had some preterm labor and medications administered with both of my girls to avoid having them too early).

At 28 weeks pregnant, things in the world seemed to be getting crazy. Schools closed and I had to help teach my children as we did remote learning from home. Church was canceled until further notice, and we proceeded to do that from home with just our family as well. My husband, who works as a baker and manager at his father’s restaurant, was not able to work for 6 weeks. Masks were suddenly being worn everywhere and it seemed as if daily things were getting more and more out of hand. This was our life for the rest of the pregnancy and even after our little guy was born.

During this time there were a lot of concerns. Would my husband be allowed in the hospital when our baby was born? Would I have to wear a mask the entire time I was in the hospital, including during labor and delivery? Would it even be safe to have the baby at the hospital? How long would we need to stay away from family and friends once he was here? Will they only be able to see him through a glass door and not hold him? These were just some of the questions that constantly filled me with anxiety during this time. These were questions that never crossed my mind when either of my daughters were born and I couldn’t believe I had to consider them now. There were times I struggled not to let the anxiety become completely debilitating.

On Thursday, May 28th, at 39 weeks, we spent the day getting all our last minute things ready before baby came. We set up the baby monitor, cleaned more thoroughly, got laundry done, and had one last family outing as a family of 4 with a picnic in the park for dinner. We had a feeling that our little boy would be coming soon and spoke to the girls about how that might mean leaving for the hospital in the middle of the night and filled them in on what our plan would be with having their grandparents watch them. Little did we know how quickly that exact plan would be put into action. That very evening my contractions started again. I was up all night and didn’t get any sleep. They were getting more and more painful as the night went on. Finally at 1am I grabbed an apple, turned on “Friends”, and started timing them. They were coming about every 4 minutes and lasted anywhere from 30 seconds to 1 minute. I was worried about going to the hospital only to be sent home, disappointed that we weren’t going to have our baby yet. Finally, just before 3am I called the doctor, told them what was happening and was told to head to the hospital. I woke up my husband and told him it was time. We got our hospital bag, woke up the girls and got them settled with their grandparents. We said our goodbyes to our sweet girls who were wide awake and thrilled. We knew they probably wouldn’t be getting much more sleep that night as they anxiously awaited to hear the news that their baby brother was born.

We got to the hospital and the parking lot was nearly empty. We checked in through the ER entrance where, before we could enter, both of our temperatures were checked and they asked if we had experienced and shortness of breath, coughing, or had been around anyone with COVID-19. When everything checked out okay, they gave us masks and we were allowed inside. My husband was allowed in with me, but was told once in the hospital he would not be allowed to leave and re-enter. We were brought back where they monitored me for an hour to determine if I should stay or be sent home. Before long, it was determined that we would be staying to have our baby, and I was transported to the labor and delivery room. Once in our room we were allowed to take off our masks, although the hospital staff had masks on at all times. We only needed to wear ours when in the hallways, being transported to different rooms. I was so relieved when they informed me that a week earlier they changed protocol and moms didn’t have to wear masks during delivery. There was limited staff and the hospital seemed almost deserted with only one other patient who had their baby that same day.

I got my IV and got all set up, relieved to know that our baby boy would be born soon. We were so excited to meet him. Around 6am, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me an epidural. Now we played the waiting game as my body progressed for baby to come. Although I was progressing pretty well, they decided to help speed it up a bit by administering a small amount of Pitocin. As I was getting close to being dilated to a 10, they turned down the strength of the epidural so I would be able to feel the contractions and push better.

At 1:50pm, the nurses decided it was time to push and had me try before the doctor came in. At the next contraction I started to push and they immediately told me to stop and wait until the doctor arrived. It wasn’t going to take long for him to come. I waiting about 10 minutes before the doctor and nurses were all there and ready. They were completely covered without a bit of exposed skin anywhere. They had two sets of gloves on, a mask, face shield, and gowns. It almost looked like I was having a C-section the way they were dressed and prepared. There was no doubt that they were taking no chances and no risks, but were taking every precaution to keep both us and them healthy and safe.

It was 2pm when they were ready and told me to push on the next contraction. Our little boy was born 4 minutes later. I pushed through one contraction and he was here. I was able to watch the entire time because there was a light right above the hospital bed that was turned off and reflected it all. I had never watched before but there was something so amazing about being able to watch my baby be born. My husband, who is a little squeamish, has never been one to watch or cut the umbilical cords. This time, the doctor asked me if I wanted to, so I was able to cut the cord as well. They immediately put our little boy right on my chest for skin to skin time. He kicked his feet and managed to climb his way onto my face. The nurses were amazed and said they had never seen anything like that before. He was absolutely perfect – born on Friday, May 29, 2020. He weighed 7lbs 13oz and was 19.5 inches long.

Everything went as smoothly as possible. Other than not being allowed any visitors, it was a wonderful experience. We felt very safe and well cared for, and I have had a smooth recovery as well. We didn’t have contact with family or friends for about a month before he was born and almost 2 weeks after. Finally we allowed our immediate family to visit and hold him. While we have been very cautious, it was so incredibly hard not seeing family once we were home.

Despite how long it took us to get pregnant and the chaos that was going on in the world when he was born, I cannot deny the Lord’s timing. Our little boy has brought nothing but calm, peace, and joy at a time when that has been nearly impossible to find. I will always remember this amazing experience and the incredible blessings there were every step of the way.

Wasn’t that so beautiful? Even in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, birth is still such a beautiful thing! Thanks so much to Kaylee for sharing her story on the Honest Birth series! I’m hoping to have some more coronavirus birth stories coming soon, so keep checking back!

The post Honest Birth #35 featuring Kaylee Jones appeared first on Life With My Littles.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I read a lot of books and articles about labor and delivery. I thought I was 100% ready for childbirth and that nothing was going to surprise me. Oh boy, was I wrong! I wish I had read more about what to expect during labor and delivery, because there were a lot of things that nobody had told me about that really caught me off guard!

I thought about things that I wasn’t expecting, and I asked all of my mama friends what things surprised them that they wished they had known about, and I have come up with this big list of what to expect during labor and delivery. This is a great post to read if you’re a first-time mom delivering at the hospital and you have no idea what to expect. This is basically what I would (and did!) tell my sister when she had her first baby!

What to Expect During Labor and Delivery

The mucus plug

Before you go into labor, you lose your mucus plug. It’s basically like a giant booger in your underpants, and it’s gross. It’s a blob of mucus that has been in your cervix to block bacteria from getting in. It’s not a great sign that labor is starting because it can “grow back,” and you may lose it two or three times. But it is a sign that you’re getting close!

The bloody show

The mucus plug is NOT to be confused with the bloody show. THEY ARE DIFFERENT! The bloody show is a better sign that labor is coming, because it means that your cervix is “ripening,” getting ready for childbirth. It shouldn’t be a ton of blood, and you might miss it if you go to the bathroom at night, and it usually happens after you lose your mucus plug.

Diarrhea 

It’s gross, but as your body gets ready for labor, you may get diarrhea, or at least runny poops. As your uterus starts contracting (even if you can’t feel it yet), it irritates your bowel, which makes you poop a lot. So get ready.

Water breaking

Your water doesn’t always break on its own. I know in movies and on TV they always show pregnant women out in public and all of a sudden their water breaks and completely gushes all over and they’re like “time to go to the hospital!” all happy and cheery. Nope. That’s a pretty rare occurrence.

And when it does break, it is WEIRD. It feels like you’re just peeing a ton and it’s all warm and weird, and with each contraction a little more comes out.

Also, if there’s “meconium” in your fluid, that means that your baby has pooped inside and the NICU team will probably have to be there at the delivery to make sure your baby is okay after they’re born.

Checking in

Depending on the hospital you go to, you might have to go to a triage before getting admitted. The hospital I went to with my third baby, I had to go into a triage and get checked there before I was admitted. They were slow and took their sweet time, and I had to be 5cm dilated before they admitted me. The hospital I went to with my first two babies, I was immediately put into a private room where I was monitored.

Getting checked

Several times throughout labor you’ll have to get checked. It’s the same thing as at your OB appointments toward the end of pregnancy where they have you lay down with your knees bent and laying out to the side and they check to see how far dilated and effaced you are. It’s uncomfortable. And it’s even worse when you’re in labor. Just be ready for it.

Monitoring

The way they monitor your baby and your contractions during labor is with two big circle things strapped to your belly. They move around a lot and in my experience, have to be adjusted pretty often. They make it hard to get comfortable, and you obviously can’t get out of bed when they are on.

You can ask to be monitored intermittently, which is what I did with my third labor so I could walk around and help things progress. I just came back to the room every 30 or 45 minutes and they put the monitors on and made sure everything was still good. I much preferred this, but everyone is different!

Getting induced

I was induced with my first and second babies, and both experiences were good for me. However, getting induced can prolong labor, and it can make your contractions even more painful. I know it’s hard to wait until you go into labor naturally, but having been induced and having gone into labor on my own, I recommend trying to wait until your body goes into labor on its own (unless you have a medical reason for getting induced!).

Labor takes a long time

I guess in some situations it can go pretty fast, but in most cases (and especially for first-time moms), it takes a long time. There’s a lot of waiting during labor, and it can be boring. Make sure you have something to do, like a book, a game on your phone, or a movie on your laptop. It can help pass the time and it helps when you’re trying to relax so your body will do its part.

Throwing up

You might throw up during labor. Sometimes it’s because of the pain, and sometimes it’s because of pain medication. But just be warned that it can happen.

The epidural

It is dang hard to sit still for that epidural. You can’t get it until you are dilated past a certain point because it can slow labor down, and usually when you are that far along it’s already pretty painful. And then the anesthesiologist comes in and is like “sit on the edge of the bed and curl your back and don’t move” and you’re like “are you kidding me?” You have to sit there for a while and you’ll probably have a few contractions during the process, and it’s hard to sit still. It’s a little scary, but once you have it in and the medicine is going, it’s magic.

You should also know that if you do get an epidural, you have to get a catheter (basically a tube that continuously drains your bladder) and that feels really uncomfortable when it goes in.

Once you do get the epidural, you will probably have to switch sides and move positions a few times in order for it to balance out and spread evenly on both sides of your body. You’ll need help to do this because your epidural will pretty much make it impossible to move from the waist down.

You might also experience shaking and chills when you get an epidural. My doctor husband told me that this is because the epidural medicine is cold, so when it goes in your body it feels cold and makes you feel cold.

One of my mama friends also told me that you can ask for a partial epidural instead of the full dosage, which if you want to be able to feel a little bit, might be a good option for you.

You can’t eat during labor

Both of the hospitals that my babies were born at didn’t allow women to eat during labor. The only thing they allowed was clear liquids (Sprite, water) and ice chips. I have heard that some hospitals don’t even allow that. And since labor takes a long time, you should probably grab a bite to eat before heading to the hospital, and prepare to be starving after your baby is born.

Your nurse

She will be in and out of your room while you’re there. You’ll probably get a little button you can push to request her to come in. Nurses also change every 12 hours (in my experience), so you might not have the same nurse at delivery as you do when you get checked in.

You might poop

I know this sounds absolutely horrible and so incredibly embarrassing, but it’s actually quite common. I wasn’t able to find a statistic on it, but it happens all the time. Your doctor will have seen it, your nurses will have seen it, and it’s really not a big deal.

I made my husband promise me that he would never tell me if I pooped during labor, and to this day I have no idea. But because your contractions stimulate your bowels, and you use the same muscles to poop as you do to push your baby out, it might happen.

There will be lots of people in the room

One thing that completely caught me off guard with my first baby’s delivery was how many people were in the room when it was go time.

Besides the nurse (probably more than one) and the doctor, there were also medical students, nursing students, and the NICU team. Plus my husband was there. If you have any other family that you want there, they’ll be there, too. It can get crowded real quick. And yes, you are allowed to request no students be in the room if you really care (but speaking as the wife of a doctor, that’s how they learn!).

By the end of labor, you have zero modesty

With everything that goes on (lifting up your gown to fix the monitors, lifting up your gown to get checked, and pushing your baby out) during labor and childbirth, you’ll have zero modesty by the end of it. You probably won’t care about nursing your baby with the nurses and doctors in the room, and you certainly will get used to having people inspect your lady parts. I’m a pretty modest person and I don’t even like nursing in public, but during childbirth, that’s all thrown out the window.

Things don’t always go according to plan

I had a formal, written birth plan with my first baby, and with my second and third babies, I just had an idea in my head of what I wanted my birth to be like. While I do think it’s important to prepare as much as you can and know what kind of childbirth experience you would like, it’s also important to remember that things don’t always go according to plan. Your birth plan may have to be thrown out, so don’t get 100% attached to it.

The #1 most important thing during childbirth is a healthy baby and a healthy mom. That might mean that you have to get an emergency C-section or that even though you wanted to go natural, you end up getting induced and getting an epidural. That’s totally okay. There’s no wrong way to have a baby (whether that’s in the hospital with an epidural or at home in the water with a midwife). Mentally prepare yourself for things not going according to plan.

Along those lines, one of my mama friends recommended learning about natural labor techniques to manage the pain even if you’re planning on getting an epidural, because sometimes you don’t have time to get one and you have to go without!

Stand up for yourself

I love listening to pregnancy and birth podcasts and one thing that I have heard several times is that moms wish they had stood up for themselves during labor. You might have an amazing doctor and amazing nurses who take great care of you and listen to your requests, but you also might end up with the doctor on call who you have never met and who just wants to go home.

There are good and bad doctors and nurses, just like in every profession. If you feel like you aren’t being treated well, stand up for yourself. If your nurse is mega grumpy and rude to you, ask for a different one. Stand up for yourself. You want your baby’s birth to be a good experience!

Pushing

Don’t expect to push through two or three contractions and suddenly have your baby. Most women have to push for a long time before their babies are born. Don’t push until your body is ready (you’ll feel like you need to poop because of the pressure of your baby’s head).

The best advice I can give you is to push like you’re trying to poop. Yes, you might poop, but like I said, it’s not a big deal and that’s common. I have pushed out three babies and every time I’ve pushed using my lower ab muscles like I’m pooping and it has worked great for me.

The ring of fire

Ever hear someone talk about the ring of fire? The ring of fire is when your muscles and skin around your lady parts are stretching as far as they can as your baby’s head comes out. It’s also called crowning. I haven’t felt it since I’ve had epidurals all three times, but I’ve heard it’s incredibly painful and that even with an epidural, you can still feel it sometimes.

Take notes

If you’re planning on writing down your baby’s birth story, take notes. Write down when you start feeling contractions, your emotions, your nurses’ names, when you get checked and how far you are, and anything else you can think of. Labor can be such a blur and at least for me, I can’t remember the little details if I don’t take notes.

Delivering the placenta

It might seem super obvious to some people but I completely forgot about delivering the placenta when my first baby was born. After your baby is born, you have to push again and deliver the placenta. It might be easy, it might be hard.

After my first baby it was easy, but after my second baby, the placenta broke inside of my uterus and the doctor had to scrape it out and push on my stomach to help free it up. That was very painful, even with the epidural I’d had. Hopefully it’s easy for you, but just know that you still have a little work to do after your baby comes out.

Stitches

If you tear at all (I have with all three babies), you’ll probably have to get a few stitches. The doctor will do it right after your baby and placenta are delivered, and the most I’ve ever felt is a little tugging while they did it. Depending on if you get an epidural or not, you might feel more or less.

Meeting your baby

Let your doctor and nurse know if you want to immediately hold your baby and delay weighing and cleaning. If your baby is healthy and there aren’t any concerns, they should let you do skin-to-skin immediately. I wasn’t able to do this with my first baby because there was meconium in my amniotic fluid and they had to make sure he hadn’t ingested it, but I did with my second and third babies and it was magic.

Let them know what you want to do, and don’t be too upset if you can’t immediately hold your baby. Remember, a healthy baby (and healthy mama!) is the most important thing.

Going to the bathroom the first time

When you’re all done and ready to change and get a little cleaned up, your sweet, sweet nurse will help you into the bathroom and she will show you how to take care of yourself postpartum. She’ll help you get some of those nice mesh cotton undies on and help you get the big maxi pads in there. She’ll show you how to gently rinse off after you go to the bathroom and how to use dermoplast spray to help ease the pain. Don’t be shy and let her help you. You’ll feel super awkward, but you need their help, and after you’ll feel so grateful!

Peeing after the catheter

If you got an epidural and had to have a catheter, be warned that peeing after it comes out is hard at first.

Postpartum pooping

It’s also hard to poop postpartum. Make sure you take those laxatives they give you, drink lots of water, and just relax. Try not to push very much.

Postpartum bleeding

You’re basically going to have a heavy period for a week or two, and then lighter bleeding for 2-4 more weeks. Your doctor will tell you 4-6 weeks, but my last one was closer to 7 weeks before I stopped bleeding. DO NOT use a tampon, and just change those maxi pads often.

Squishy stomach

One of the weirdest things after my first was born was how squishy and jello-y my belly was after he was born. It was super weird.

You may not want to shower or get dressed in the hospital

I brought my own clothes and shower stuff to the hospital with all three of my children’s births, but I have not used them once. And that’s totally okay if that’s you.

You may just want to stay in hospital gowns the whole time you’re there and wait to shower until you get home. You also might want to wear your own clothes. Either way, it’s okay. Don’t feel a ton of pressure to look your best. You just had a baby!

Sore boobs

Whether or not you choose to breastfeed, your breasts are going to hurt for a few days as your supply either adjust or dries up. One of my mama friends told me that having cabbage in your fridge to put on your boobs can really help with engorgement!

Having a baby is absolutely crazy. Our bodies are amazing and it’s wild that they can grow a human baby and then push it out and we can get up and walk around so soon after. Hopefully this post was helpful and now you know a little more what to expect during labor and delivery at the hospital! Good luck, mamas!

This post was originally published October 11, 2017.

The post What to Expect During Labor and Delivery appeared first on Life With My Littles.

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I am a list person. I make grocery lists, to-do lists, lists of things I want to buy, lists of things I want to make. I’m a list person. So needless to say, I had a whole big list of things to do before while I was pregnant before my first baby was born.

It was actually super helpful because not only did it keep me busy until he got here, the things I did were things that helped me out once he was born, too. I wasn’t rushing around trying to get addresses for announcements or worrying about little things like what we were going to have for dinner once we got home, because I had prepared before he was born. I was able to stay relaxed and enjoy the time with our new bundle of joy!

This list I’m sharing today has 25 things to do before your baby is born to help make having a newborn easier and more enjoyable for you! These are 25 things that I personally did that you may or may not find helpful. They aren’t in any particular order, and if you have anything else to add, feel free to leave a comment and contribute! (Or check out my post that has 15 more things to do before your baby is born!)

25 Things to Do Before Your Baby is Born

1. Pick a birth announcement

If you live far from family and friends, or if you just want to show off your perfect new baby (who doesn’t want that?), a birth announcement is a great way to introduce your newborn. You can either do something simple yourself by copying something on Pinterest or you can use a photo website with premade layouts (Shutterfly is a great one!).

If you decide what you want before your baby is born, you won’t have to stress about picking a birth announcement after they’re born.

2. Gather and print addresses

If you do decide you want to send out birth announcements, it can be even more stressful to gather all the addresses and figure out who you want to send them to after baby is born.

The solution? Gather them all before! You can compile them all into a Word document with a label template and print them out while you are pregnant so once you get your announcements, you just have to put the sticky labels on the envelopes and pop them in the mailbox.

Plus if you work on it while you are pregnant you can have time to think about who you want to send them to.

3. Get a waterproof bed pad

Not for baby, for you. My husband and I have a nice pillowtop mattress that my parents bought us when we got married, and I was not about to have my water break on it and ruin it. I was very worried that if my water did break in the middle of the night, we would have to leave fast and the amniotic fluid would do some serious damage to our mattress while we were away at the hospital. So instead of being nervous to fall asleep as your due date approaches, invest in something like this waterproof bed pad that you can just put under the sheets on your side of the bed.

And don’t try and be cheap and think you can get one of those plastic drop cloths that you use for painting. I tried that at first and it made way too much noise for me to even be able to fall asleep. Which at that point in your pregnancy you need to try and get as much as you can between the ten bathroom trips each night. And even if your water doesn’t break until you are at the hospital, it’s better to be safe than sorry!

4. Pack your bags

Since you never know when baby is going to come, the sooner the better with this one. You should pack a hospital bag for you, a hospital bag for baby, and if your husband is smart, he will let you pack a little bag for him.

I had my bags packed and sitting by the front door a month before my due date. Yes, I was excited, but I was also prepared!

Here is a list of what I packed in my hospital bag, and here is a list of what I packed in my baby’s hospital bag.

5. Get your carpets cleaned

Now this may not be appropriate for everyone, but living in an apartment that has nasty carpet and weird stains from the previous tenants made me really want to get our carpets cleaned because I knew we were going to be spending a lot of time on the floor with our new baby.

So, about a month before my due date I went and rented a Rug Doctor machine and cleaned our carpets. Not only did they smell amazing and look amazing after, I felt much better about our Little J rolling around on the floor. Plus, if you haven’t done this in a while, it might be a nice thing to do before baby is born because after, you are not going to have time (or energy) to do this.

And here’s a tip: I did a Google search for some coupons and called around at a few stores to get the best deal. So if you are going to add this to your list of things to do before your baby is born, do some research and get the best price!

6. Pick a pediatrician

If you don’t have a pediatrician yet, ask friends, look online at websites like healthgrades.com (but be cautious of how many people have reviewed them), and see if your hospital has contracts with any local offices so they can come to the hospital and visit your newborn right after delivery.

It’s much easier to have this done before you have your baby because you don’t want to be at the hospital holding your perfect little baby and have a minor panic attack when the nurse asks you who your baby’s pediatrician is and then tells you how soon you need to schedule your first appointment. Having a pediatrician picked out prior to your baby’s birth is nice because you can get home and immediately schedule their appointment without worrying about if you are calling a good one.

Some pediatricians actually will let you come meet with them while you are pregnant for a kind of “meet and greet” appointment. I actually did this the month before our first baby was born and felt very good about the pediatrician my friends recommended. One less thing to worry about!

7. Pre-wash baby’s clothes

Again, this is something you don’t have to do and which won’t be for everyone, but I did it with all three of my babies’ clothes (especially after I got all my first son’s clothes out of storage!). I used Dreft because it’s hypoallergenic and I loved the way it smelled. It was really fun to wash, fold, and put away all of their tiny clothes!

8. Invest in a nursing bra (or two)

If you decide you are going to nurse your little baby, you will want to get a few nursing bras. You aren’t supposed to use underwire until you’ve been breastfeeding for three months, and I personally like ones without because I can use them when I’m sleeping and still be comfy.

I would definitely recommend getting at least one nursing bra because trying to put nursing pads in a regular bra and readjusting them every time you feed baby is pretty tough and it’s just easier to have an actual nursing bra that clips and makes things easily and quickly accessible for when baby is screaming because he’s hungry.

9. Check to see if your insurance covers a breast pump

If you are going to nurse your baby, a breast pump is really nice to have for the times that you won’t be able to nurse baby or for when baby decides to sleep through the night and you wake up engorged and crying in pain because you have two rock-hard lumps on your chest.

This particular point was very important for me, because the hospital called and got the wrong information from someone at my insurance, and after being told it was covered, we got the fancy breast pump, only to find out four months later that it was not covered at all and we owed like $300.

I would recommend calling yourself (maybe even a few times to verify information) to see if your insurance covers a breast pump. If you aren’t sure what kind of breast pump you want to try, this post of the best breastfeeding products talks about both manual and electric pumps.

There’s also a company called Aeroflow Breastpumps that does a lot of the work for you, and while I haven’t personally used them, I’ve heard great things about them making the process of getting a breast pump through insurance easy!

10. Make freezer meals

My best friend and I were due two weeks apart with our first babies, and we got together a month before our due dates and made a ton of freezer meals. This is a fun idea because it can take one day or it can take a few days (and when you are getting close to your due date you want to keep yourself busy). Our tiny freezer had almost no room for anything else after two days of making freezer meals, but it was so worth it. 

My husband and I found out that the recipes that we liked most were actually not crockpot ones, but ones that were casserole-like and were baked in the oven. Lasagna, pasta, chicken fajitas, those types of meals were our personal favorites.

And making freezer meals is really nice for after baby is born because once your family goes back home and you are left alone, the last thing you want to do is make a hot meal for you and your husband. Here’s a great post about freezer meal tips and recipes to make before your baby is born!

11. Attend classes at your hospital

Most hospitals offer free baby classes for expectant parents. I would highly recommend checking to see what kinds of classes you can take.

My husband and I signed up for three, and even though he only went to one and I only went to two, it was really helpful. I took a notebook and filled up multiple pages with things like how to give baby a bath, how to care for a circumcision, breastfeeding tips, how to swaddle baby, and how to change a diaper (somehow I made it through life without changing a single diaper until my first baby was born).

Plus you can ask the teachers/nurses any additional questions you might have. And you may even make some pregnant friends who are due around the same time!

12. Install baby’s car seat

I seriously think I drove around for about five weeks with an empty car seat in the backseat of my car before my first baby was born. Car seats aren’t super hard to install, but you don’t want to get to the hospital and realize that you left your new baby’s ride at home.

A lot of places will offer car seat installation checks where you can bring your car in and they will check to make sure you’ve installed the car seat correctly. I was going to do this with our first until my husband made fun of me and told me he knew what he was doing. I did however go and do this with my second baby, despite him mocking me. I also took our our convertible car seat in to get checked when we got that. Very helpful.

For more information about keeping kids safe in their car seats, check out this post about 8 Car Seat Mistakes You Are Probably Making.

13. Bake cookies to thank your nurses

I know this one is kind of silly, but it’s a nice gesture! And this obviously shouldn’t be done until pretty close to your due date, but it is really nice to have a bag of cookies that you can give to the nurses once you are officially checked into the hospital.

And if more than a few days goes by and you aren’t in labor, it’s always nice to have a bag of cookies waiting for you to make you feel better. You can make more for the nurses after you eat the first batch.

14. Get 2 waterproof mattress pads for the crib

I think most people probably only have one waterproof mattress pad on their crib, but we layered a waterproof crib mattress pads and then a fitted sheet, and then another mattress pad and another fitted sheet. That way, when your newborn wets the bed or throws up in the middle of the night, you can just pull the first layer off and they still have another protective layer there in case it happens again. You don’t want to be trying to wash and put on a new mattress pad and sheet in the middle of the night! 

It’s definitely worth the extra bit of money to have a spare mattress pad on the bed. Trust me, you’ll be grateful in the middle of the night!

15. Paint your nails

This may seem silly, too, but you are going to be taking a lot of pictures at the hospital holding your new baby, and since you probably won’t feel your best after your baby is born, it’s nice to have a little bit of glam to make you feel better!

I painted my nails a nice baby blue color (since I was having a boy) and it actually turned out really nice for the pictures that we had taken at the hospital.

16. Buy some “in-between” clothes

One of my friends actually suggested this and I didn’t do it the first time around and I regretted it.

As much as you want to be your pre-pregnancy size after your baby is born, it will not happen immediately. And since you won’t be pregnant anymore, you probably won’t want to wear your maternity clothes. So before you have your baby, go buy some “in-between” clothes that you can wear until you fit back into your regular clothes.

I really wish I had done this the first time because I couldn’t fit back into any of my jeans or shorts until my baby was about 2-months-old, so I ended up wearing sweatpants or my maternity pants until then. And without a large, round belly, the band on my maternity pants sagged and wasn’t the best self-esteem booster.

So, before you have your baby, just get a pair or two of in-between pants, and maybe a few looser-fitting tops. PinkBlush Maternity has some great clothes for looking good during and after pregnancy.

17. Look through your baby’s baby book

If you haven’t gotten a baby book, I highly recommend it. There are usually sections you can fill out before your baby is born about you and Daddy, the day you found out you were pregnant, the ultrasound, and things like that.

Plus you can see if there is a spot for a newspaper clipping from the day they are born and baby hand and footprints. Otherwise you might not remember to get a newspaper or baby’s footprints in the actual baby book. And it’s cute to see the pages that talk about baby’s birth and you will cry and be excited and scared and thrilled all at the same time while looking through them (yes, that is from personal experience).

18. Charge your camera battery

I know that everyone has a smart phone and can take pictures on their phones, but I’m old-fashioned and I love taking pictures on my DSLR rather than my phone.

My camera takes really nice pictures, and it was nice to be able to have my phone as a backup instead just in case. Plus, you will be taking like a million pictures at the hospital of your perfect new baby so you want to make sure your camera can handle all that pressure.

19. Do a test run to the hospital

If this is your first baby, or you haven’t delivered at the hospital you are planning on, it is always a good idea to do a test run and see not only how long it takes you to get there, but to make sure you know exactly where to park and go once you get there.

I didn’t think the signs outside of our hospital were super clear and it was nice to go and make sure we knew where to park and then where to go in and what floor to go to and everything. Because once you’re in labor, you don’t want to waste any time.

20. Stock up on hand sanitizer

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about having a baby, it’s that people will ALWAYS ask to hold them. It’s nice to have some hand sanitizer stashed around your home (especially by the changing area!) and in your bag so that when people do ask to hold your baby, you can politely have them sanitize their hands first, since there’s not always a sink around to wash hands.

21. Make your birth plan

Some OBGYNs or hospitals will give you a sheet to fill out, but some don’t, so it’s always nice to be prepared and at least feel like you are going to be in control. Your hospital may provide you with one when you pre-register, or you can check out this helpful post with things you should include on your birth plan.

It’s important to remember that your birth plan is Plan A, and sometimes, for your health or the health of your baby, things will have to change. Your birth plan should discuss your ideal birth situation, but you also need to remember to be flexible when the time comes and not panic if you can’t do everything the way you wanted. The most important part of a birth plan is that you cover all possible situations so you can prepare ahead of time and you won’t have to make decisions when you are in the moment and your nurse is asking you what you want to do.

You can fill in things about how you want your labor to go, what you want to do during labor, who you want in the room with you when baby is born, and if you want the chance to breastfeed right after baby is born. It is a really handy tool to have, and it can help put your mind at ease about delivery, even if you don’t completely stick to it during labor (which you probably won’t!).

22. Get a special baby notebook and folder

Both before your baby is born and after, you’ll probably get a lot of handouts and a lot of information. It’s really helpful to have a special place to store papers and write down all of the things you are told, because you’re most likely not going to remember everything they tell you right before you are discharged and sent home.

I also decided to use my notebook to write down questions that I might think of at home so that I wouldn’t forget to ask them while we were at the pediatrician. And for the first few months, I also recorded when my babies ate, when we bathed them, and how many wet and dirty diapers they had.

The folder is really handy because you get a lot of paperwork at the hospital and instead of shoving it all in your bag, you can nicely store it in your folder and keep it organized so that when you get home you know exactly where to look for that handout on immunizations. If you decide to go to baby classes at the hospital you can also use the notebook and folder for information you get there.

23. Get a package of milk freezer bags

I actually didn’t even think about using these for what I’m going to tell you, but I wish I would have because it would have helped a lot. If you are going to have a pump, having a box of milk storage freezer bags is really helpful.

Sometimes baby decides he doesn’t want to eat on one side and you get engorged and it’s miserable. It’s super handy to have some milk freezer bags so you can pump and then save the milk that you pump so that later, if you are going to be away from your baby, there is some milk for him ready in the freezer.

Sometimes you’ll get engorged and need to pump just a little bit so that you can sleep at night. It’s a waste to pour milk you pumped down the drain, so go ahead and freeze it! These 1 oz milk trays are the perfect way to freeze just a little bit of milk so it won’t go to waste!

24. Look up a newborn photographer

Some hospitals have contracts with baby photographers and they will actually come around to your rooms while you are there and take pictures. We were lucky and had the chance to get our first and second babies’ pictures done while we were still in the hospital. Check to see if your hospital has something like this, and if they don’t, you might want to start looking around for a newborn photographer. Or, if you want to save money but still want pictures of your perfect baby, you can look on Pinterest at the many tutorials on how to photograph babies on your own.

If you’re doing baby announcements this is especially handy, because once your baby is born you don’t want to have to try and look around for a photographer last-minute. The last thing you want to do after giving is birth is to stress about finding the perfect photographer and getting good pictures. It’s nice to plan ahead and have that all set up before.

25. Make Daddy feel special.

A lot of times the mom gets pampered and showered and the dad can feel left out. Let him know how much you appreciate him and the support he has given (and will give you during labor) by putting together a special “new Dad” kit for him.

I put in some soap, some Pop Rocks, tissues, a few books about daddies, a sports onesie, some Sour Patch Kids, some Diet Mt. Dew, air freshener, earplugs, and a few other little personal things to make life as a new dad easier. Not only was it fun for me to put together, it was nice to be able to be able to recognize his part in all of this, too!

Most importantly, just get excited! I know it is the worst waiting around for your baby. Then once your due date passes you are just trying to do everything you can to pass the time. Just enjoy it and try to relax. Babies come when they are ready, and when they do, it is an incredible experience.

This post was originally published in August 2013.

The post 25 Things to Do Before Your Baby is Born appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Hey mamas! Welcome to the thirty-fourth post in my Honest Birth series! I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring Amy Motroni! Amy lives in California with her husband and two-year-old daughter. She has a blog called The Postpartum Party where she offers advice, encouragement, and support for new and expecting moms. She remembers how hard that phase was and wants to help new moms in any way she can. She also loves to travel, write, catch up with friends while drinking wine or mojitos, and she loves binge watching her favorite TV shows. This is the first time Amy has ever shared her birth photo, and I am thrilled that she’s doing it here on Honest Birth! She said her daughter’s birth felt like such a whirlwind and a bit of a hot mess. She was always a little envious of those people who have picture-perfect photos in the hospital holding their new baby, but bringing a human into this world isn’t always so picture-perfect! Today Amy is going to be sharing the C-section birth story of her daughter, Evelyn!

Ready to read all about her daughter’s birth? Here we go!

The Birth Story of Evelyn Motroni

I was one of the last of my friends to get pregnant so I had heard several birth stories before I ever had my own to tell.

The common thing among the majority of them was that labor and delivery never went according to plan. Lesson number one in motherhood is that babies have their own opinions and it’s hard to have complete control over most, if any situations.

I had a very loose birth plan (yes I wanted the epidural and no I didn’t want my whole family in the delivery room), but I also knew that anything was possible and I wanted to be prepared for that.

I went to my 40 week appointment, thinking my doctor would tell me to just keep waiting and wishing to go into labor. Even though everything was fine with my pregnancy, to my surprise she asked if I wanted to schedule an induction within the week.

If my baby came before then, we would cancel it, but this gave us a plan just in case my baby wasn’t making any moves.

We scheduled the induction for the following Tuesday and I went home with a plan.

Driving to the hospital on induction day was the strangest thing. It was so anticlimactic and nothing I had pictured from movies or TV shows. My husband and I went out to breakfast that morning as one last hurrah before we were parents. Then we just drove to the hospital and checked in. It was totally uneventful and incredibly odd.

They tried some more natural and less invasive induction methods first and those took forever. In about 6 hours after being induced with Cytotec, I hadn’t even progressed one whole centimeter. 

They inserted a foley bulb to try and help me progress. When the time came to take it out, the nurse struggled. She had to grab another nurse to help her. I’m not sure what happened but they got it out and there was a lot of blood and a lot of pain after that.

My legs started shaking uncontrollably. I had never experienced anything like it in my life. I asked for the epidural because I was in so much pain. The anesthesiologist told me to try and sit still but my legs would not stop moving.

Luckily I was able to keep my back straight enough to get the epidural. Once that kicked in, I was able to rest and sleep.

My body continued to slowly but surely progress. Eventually I was to the point where I could start pushing. Yay! It had been about 28 hours and I was ready!

As soon as I gave a few big pushes the doctor stopped me. My daughter’s heart rate dropped every time I pushed. We took a break, hoping that would help, but my daughter’s heart rate continued to drop every time I pushed. We played this waiting and pushing game for a bit before the doctor recommended a C-section.

I was devastated. Selfishly, I remember thinking that I had done all that hard labor for nothing. But I trusted my doctor so off to the delivery room they took me.

The anesthesiologist came in to do the spinal and I remember them telling me, “When you get in the operating room, you’re going to feel like you can’t breathe. Just remember if you’re talking, you’re breathing.”

I really didn’t think much of it. I’m not bothered by needles or blood or medicine or any of it, so I was just going with it.

As soon as they laid me on the operating table I. COULD. NOT. BREATHE. Being a rule follower and Enneagram 9, I politely told the doctor, “Excuse me. I know you said if I’m talking I’m breathing, but I really can’t breathe right now.”

I was gasping the words out. I knew they weren’t going to let me suffocate right in front of them but that is exactly what it felt like was happening.

The doctor came very close to me and said, “keep talking so you know you’re breathing.” I panicked and did the first thing that came to my mind.

I started singing my ABC’s. I was choking the letters out one by one, and before I knew it, my daughter was here!

I couldn’t believe how fast the surgery was. They put my sweet daughter—Evelyn—on my chest right away. I was a bag of emotions but glad she was here and it was finally finished.

I grieved my birth story for a long time. I wondered if I made a mistake getting induced. Maybe I should have done something differently. I was sad that I didn’t get to see the labor process through fruition and have a vaginal delivery.

And then around Evelyn’s first birthday a friend of ours lost their baby at 40 weeks. We were devastated and crushed for them. It was then that I realized it didn’t matter how Evelyn came into this world. She was healthy and happy and all ours. My birth story wasn’t a beautiful one, but someone beautiful came from it.

I love, love, love how Amy ended her story. Birth really can go so differently from what we plan, and while it’s hard to accept when it goes totally different, the most important thing really is a healthy baby and mama! Thanks to Amy for sharing Evelyn’s birth story and thanks to all of you mamas for coming to read it! Make sure you follow Amy on Instagram and Pinterest, and check out her blog, The Postpartum Party. And check back next month for another Honest Birth post!

The post Honest Birth #34 featuring Amy Motroni appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Hey mamas! Welcome to the thirty-third post in my Honest Birth series! I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring Kayla Solinger! Kayla and her fiancé Brian met 4 years ago at work. She did not know how much older he was than her, or that he had kids from a previous marriage. None of that mattered once she fell for him. They have been together for almost 4 years and on top of having a baby this year, they also lost their house in a fire 10 days after bringing their baby home. Having a blended family isn’t always easy but Kayla really wanted a baby of her own. They were unsure how the boys would react, especially the youngest one, but when they told them they were pregnant, they were shocked but so excited! And when they told them it was a girl, they jumped up and down with excitement, because they’d wanted a sister all along. Kayla’s stepsons, or “bonus kids,” are 16 (Sam) and 11 (Elliott). On top of having 3 kids, they also have 6 pets in our home (5 cats and a 100 lb lab). Their hands, and house, are full but they wouldn’t have it any other way. When Kayla and Brian aren’t working, they are usually binge watching on Hulu or Netflix and enjoy spending time with just their kids when they are all together. Today Kayla is going to be sharing the hospital birth story of their daughter, Rylie!

Ready to read all about her daughter’s birth? Here we go!

The Birth Story of Rylie Louise Anderson

One day in high school when I was feeling down, my mom said, “Kayla, some people are really good at sports, some are really good at school… you’re going to be a great mom.” Some people may see this as a little harsh but to me, it only made me sure that a mom is what I was meant to be.

When I got pregnant, I was just a few months shy of turning 28. I was nervous, anxious, and excited all rolled into one! My pregnancy started off pretty rough. I had awful morning sickness that started around 6 weeks, and lasted until nearly 15 weeks. I lost 7 pounds within a month and had absolutely no appetite. I struggled to get anything besides peanut butter sandwiches down. I switched insurance right when I first got pregnant, so I had to start with a new OB that I knew nothing about. Once I met her, I knew that she cared just as much about my pregnancy as I did and that my baby and I were in good hands. I am a baby when it comes to pain, so I knew I would NEED an epidural in order to make it through birth. There is always talk of a water birth or using a jetted tub for labor and I knew once I got an epidural, I would not be able to get out of the bed. I was totally okay with that as long as I wasn’t going to experience all the pain of childbirth.

My original due date was April 24th.  By the end of my pregnancy, I was 100% OVER. IT. I asked my doctor around 30 weeks when I could have my baby. I am a planner and the idea of having no clue when she would come caused a great deal of anxiety. I knew that I had to make it to 39 weeks before they would even consider inducing and that seemed like ages away. Around 32 weeks, I experienced high blood pressure and ended up at the hospital for a non stress test because I was also having contractions. Several tests and a few hours later, all I found out was that I was at risk of preterm labor. In order to induce labor naturally, I started using my breast pump nightly and also bouncing on my couch (I did not have a balance ball). At my 38 week appointment (a Wednesday), I decided to have my membranes stripped. There was also a snowstorm on the way and I live 45 minutes from the hospital, so my fiance and I decided to stay in Sioux Falls for the night “just in case.” My parents also decided to come stay in town so that they would be able to be there for the birth of their grandchild. Wednesday night passed (with lots of walking up and down the stairs at the hotel), but I had very few contractions. I decided to go to the Labor and Delivery triage just to see where I was at before going home since I had been dilated to a 3 at my appointment the night before. There was no change and I was not actively having contractions while I was there so they did not admit me but advised that I stay close by since the weather was pretty awful outside. We had already checked out of our hotel, so we got a room at the same hotel as my parents for Thursday night. Did I mention it was also my stepson’s birthday? We went to eat, stopped at the grocery store for some snacks and went to our new hotel and checked in early. I decided to take a bath and then laid down for a nap. I woke up an hour later with excruciating back pain and was wondering what the heck was going on. My mom was out running errands and I kept checking to see when she was coming back. We ordered a pizza, had my dad and sister come to our room, and waited for my mom. I was determined to get the baby out so I had my sister walk the halls with me and even went down to the fitness center to walk on the treadmill.

The back pain continued to come in waves and I was still in denial that this was actually back labor. I was using the contraction timer on my phone to see how close together the back cramping was. At this point, they were about 4-5 minutes apart. I spent the better part of an hour in the bathroom. Every time I would go, I would have a cramp (contraction) and need to go again. Little did I know, this was my body’s attempt to clean me out before labor. It got to the point where I was doubled over in pain over the bathroom sink and started “howling” from the pain (according to my mom). She had finally gotten back to the hotel from running errands and once she heard me in the bathroom, she told me it was time to go. I kept repeating “I can’t” because I truly did not believe it was time and I could hardly stand up straight at that point. The ride in the elevator to the lobby was awful, my fiance went to go get the car, and I simply could not wait at the doors for him to pull up so I started walking towards the car instead. We finally got on the road and it hit me that this was really happening. We barely made it a few blocks from the hotel and got stuck behind a train! As we were sitting there waiting for it to pass, I was not sure that I could continue to wait. I had my fiance turn around and take the back way to the hospital in order to avoid the train. Since we had already been at the hospital that day, I REALLY did not want them to send me home again. We parked in the Emergency Room parking lot and I walked in with my mom. We headed towards the front and I made it a few steps before I had to double over from the pain and realized I should probably ride in a wheelchair up to the Labor and Delivery floor. Once up there, I stated that I thought I was in labor and they escorted me to the triage room once again. I changed into a gown (again) and laid on the bed. It took all of 5 minutes for the nurse to come in and check me. Sure enough, I was already dilated to a 6 and was going to be admitted. I burst into tears. The first thing I asked once they told me I could stay was “Can I get an epidural now?”. My new room was only a few rooms down and I decided to walk because it was probably going to be one of the last times that I would be able to walk. Throughout all of this, I never once had contractions in my abdomen. It was ALLLL back.

Once I got into my delivery room, I got everything hooked up, got asked a million questions and was told they had put in the order for my epidural. PRAISE THE LORD! The super fun part about an epidural, other than actually getting it, is that you have to sit completely still while they poke a large needle into you back, even if you are having contractions. All of my contractions were in my back which made sitting still throughout my contractions feel nearly impossible. Thankfully, I had my mom in the room with me to distract me through each contraction while my back was being poked. Once the epidural was placed, I was thrilled to be able to lay down but my entire body was numb, so I was only able to have the nurses change my position in the bed. At this point, my waters were still in tact, so it was time to break it. If you were lucky enough to have your water break on your own, you may not know that a long piece of plastic, that resembles a knitting needle, is used to break the water. I was also given pitocin because an epidural can actually slow labor down. Who knew! I was very glad to have my mom and fiance with me throughout all of this. 

I was admitted to the hospital around 7:00 p.m. and was fully dilated just before midnight. We were convinced that if she made her appearance quickly, that she would share a birthday with her oldest brother. She had different plans. I was told at 11:58 that I could start pushing. Great, every 3 minutes doesn’t seem that bad. The only problem was that I struggled to get her head past my pubic bone. She would not budge. By 2 a.m. and still no baby, the doctor came in and gave me my options. I could either try the forceps (which were not guaranteed to be successful), take a break for a few hours and then start pushing again, or there was the option of a C-section. I was exhausted from pushing every 3 minutes for almost 2 hours and decided to give forceps a try. I just wanted my baby out. When I wrote my birth plan, I knew I did not want to use forceps or a vacuum because of what it can do to the shape of their head but after two solid, painful hours, I was ready to try it. I do not remember much of what was going on as I was being “prepped”. I just remember the feeling of being clamped. My mom and fiance later informed me that the room filled with people. The NICU team was necessary in case something went wrong, nurses flooded in, and some even came in just because they’d never seen a forceps birth before. I was told by the doctor that the success of forceps was all on me. If I did not push hard enough, then the forceps wouldn’t work. She told me I had to push harder than I have ever pushed because they were just guiding the baby out, not pulling. I braced myself and hoped more than anything that this would work. When the next contraction started, I was instructed to push as hard as I could and not stop until they told me to. I remember saying, “I can’t do it” and my mom telling me, “Kayla, she’s right there!” 

Rylie Louise Anderson was born at 2:07 am on April 12th, 2019. She weighed in at 6 lbs 6 oz and was PERFECT. When they first put her on me, I just remember saying “She looks so gross!” She was covered in vernix and in that exhausted moment, that was the first thing that came to my mind. I vividly remember when they first laid her on my chest and she reached her hand up and touched my chin. She stayed that way while I got stitched up, swearing I could feel every stitch (even though I had been numbed and had an epidural). I could not believe that she was finally here, I was a mom. My delivery nurse helped me nurse for the first time and she did so well! I noticed while we were laying there that fluid was leaking out of her nose and the nurse/doctor suctioned her for the first time since she was born. 

My recovery was nothing like I expected. I tore both inside and out, and sitting, standing, and laying down all caused pain to the point that I could not get comfortable. We got to our postpartum room at about 4 am and the nurses wanted me to try and go to the bathroom (shout out to the nurse that sprayed the water bottle while I went to the bathroom for the first time). After going to the bathroom, it was time to feed her. She had nursed like a champ at first and did great the second time around. I was exhausted and ready to sleep. She was placed in a bassinet next to me and I tried to close my eyes. I did not expect her to make all kinds of grunts and noises while sleeping and did not get any sleep. My fiance went back to our hotel room to get a few hours of sleep and came back around breakfast time. I tried nursing Rylie around 8 and could not get her to wake up enough to eat so decided to try again in 45 minutes. We had baby go to the nursery and we went to eat breakfast. 

On the way back, we grabbed baby from the nursery and went back to the room and waited for visitors to come. My mom, stepdad, stepsister, mother-in-law and father-in-law all came to meet the babe. She slept the whole time. Everyone commented on how peaceful and sleepy she was and did not think anything of it. Family left for awhile and baby and I rested again. My fiance went home to let our dogs out and I just rested. The lactation consultant came in and asked how everything was going, gave me advice and said it was okay that baby was sleepy as long as her blood sugar was okay. My postpartum nurse came in to check baby’s blood sugar and it was within normal limits but since she wasn’t waking up or eating, they decided to bring her to the nursery to check her out. While she was there, I fell asleep for the first time since waking up the previous morning. 

I was woken up by a NICU doctor around 1:30 pm (I am honestly not 100% sure what time it was) and informed that my baby was being transferred to the NICU. They were concerned that she wasn’t waking up to eat and that it was not really bothering her either. They had suctioned fluid from her stomach and felt that she was working so hard to breathe that she was exhausted. I broke down crying feeling like I had failed my baby. I texted my fiance that he needed to get back right away because I was terrified and not sure what to expect. Once my fiance arrived we went to the NICU to see my baby and had to watch them take blood for labs (which was from her head as it was the easiest point of access) and hook up her IV.  They stated that she was in respiratory distress and were not sure why but would be running tests and taking a chest x-ray to find an answer. She had several cords attached to her: IV, blood pressure cuff, and oxygen. She spent my entire postpartum stay in the NICU and it was not the relaxing, bonding experience that I had in my head when I prepared myself to have my baby. 

If I had to give advice to a mom about to have her baby, it would be to expect the unexpected. Your birth may not go the way you expect it to and that is okay. The goal at the end is to have a healthy baby and your doctor and delivery nurse will do everything to make that possible. 

Wasn’t that such a wonderful, exciting story? I was surprised about having to sit still for an epidural during contractions with my first baby, too! And doesn’t Kayla have the cutest family? I love Rylie’s new brothers’ reaction to seeing her in the picture above!! Thanks to Kayla for sharing Rylie’s birth story and thanks to all of you mamas for coming to read it! Make sure you follow Kayla on Instagram and check back next month for another Honest Birth post!

The post Honest Birth #33 featuring Kayla Solinger appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Hey mamas! Welcome to the thirty-second post in my Honest Birth series! I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring Amanda Stuhldreier! Amanda and her partner Tim met playing in a recreational soccer league and live in Winnipeg, MB, Canada (where she’s lived her whole life!). They have two kids, their son Ewan, who is 2-years-old, and their daughter Melanie, who is 10-months-old. Amanda juggles working full time as a Registered Nurse on a busy vascular unit, as well as being mom to her two kids. They love staying active together and enjoy running, biking, swimming, and soccer. Amanda loves trying new recipes in the kitchen, sweet or savory, with some success so far! You can follow her along on Instagram here. Today, Amanda is sharing the birth story of her daughter!

Ready to read her story? Here we go!

The Birth Story of Melanie Stuhldreier

I really wanted to share the birth story of my daughter because I didn’t see the problems I was having to be out of the ordinary during my pregnancy, and I didn’t listen to my body. My doctors didn’t listen when I said something was wrong after the birth, either, and I’d like to share this in hopes that this doesn’t happen to at least one other mom out there.

Since Melanie was my second child, I thought I knew what to expect. Let me tell you, every birth story is different. I was at the time breastfeeding my son when I got pregnant with Melanie; all the usual symptoms of pregnancy I didn’t notice to be quite honest. There were a few red flags but very subtle. Becoming nauseated brushing my teeth, not being interested in drinking coffee (I am a huge fan of coffee) and crying watching the movie Up (in the scene where his wife dies). We didn’t truly find out about her until I was already 15 weeks along; but I promise you we were just as excited as we were with our first.

This pregnancy was much different than my first. I got quite big, quite quickly, but I was all baby. I had a lot of trouble doing anything really – even just the dishes. I remember doing chores in 10 minute intervals and going to lie down for like 20 to 30 minutes before getting up again to try and finish what I started. I remember bringing this up at one of my prenatal appointments and being told this is normal when you’re pregnant. But with my first I made it 38 weeks at work, doing just fine. Something wasn’t right but I didn’t know what.

I was having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions at work, which ultimately made me decide to go off work early after an episode of staying in the hospital over one weekend around 33 weeks (for dehydration). I remember one of the doctors coming in asking if I was still breastfeeding my son because I needed 6L of fluids.

Right around this same time at one of my prenatal appointments I was told I was measuring large for gestational age. We went for an extra ultrasound to check on baby but all we were told was everything was normal and that her back was just large.

At 39 weeks and 4 days I woke up in the early morning to notice I was leaking fluid. It wasn’t a large amount so we weren’t sure if my water had broken (this had happened 3 times with my first and always came back negative so we kinda weren’t sure if we really needed to go to the hospital) but we decided better to be safe than sorry. The results came back positive for amniotic fluid and I had the option to try to induce naturally or start Pitocin. I was feeling ready to meet our daughter and decided to be induced as we had absolutely no contractions even walking up and down flights of stairs for quite some time. Pitocin started at 3pm.

I didn’t start having strong contractions until 8pm and in 2 hours I went from 3cm dilated to 10cm, when I was told I could start pushing. During this time I used Fentanyl for pain control as I was in a lot of pain and was told an epidural was not an option anymore. My partner Tim also helped me through guided breathing; the nurse told him 3 times over the course of having met him that he should become a doula. I remember like it were yesterday the nurse saying “oh this is your second baby, two pushes and she’ll be out I promise”. Well nurses, don’t give this false hope to people because 1 hour and 45 minutes of pushing later my baby was born. They used a forceps delivery and because my baby was big she got her shoulder stuck during delivery and she also had a nuchal cord wrapped three times around her neck. They ended up having to dislocate her shoulder (shoulder dystocia) in order to get her out. I remember a resident pushing my sister away from helping with my legs in the stirrups because they really needed to get baby out. I was so relieved when the team of nurses and doctors took over her care to look after her but I ended up with postpartum hemorrhage. I blacked out twice, couldn’t tolerate sitting up and didn’t end up breastfeeding my baby for 8 hours postpartum.

After two blood transfusions and a bag of IV iron I was to transfer to the postpartum ward, but the weird thing was I couldn’t stand up. It took three people to get me, at 26, into a wheelchair. We later pushed to get an X-ray because I couldn’t stand or walk very well 2 days after having my daughter and found out I separated my pelvic bone during labour. It is called symphysis pubis and it happens between 1 in 300 to 1 in 30,000 births. My doctor didn’t believe it all because I was able to kind of weight bear. It took two weeks for me to be able to walk again once we were discharged home. The reason I feel so strongly about needing to share my birth story is that if you notice or feel something might be wrong with your pregnancy, it doesn’t hurt to ask and speak up for yourself.

Wasn’t that great? It really is so important to advocate for yourself! And if you feel like your doctor or care provider isn’t listening to you, it’s always okay to switch providers, even if you’re in the third trimester! Thanks to Amanda for sharing Melanie’s birth story and thanks to all of you mamas for coming to read it! Make sure you follow her on Instagram and check back next month for another Honest Birth post!

The post Honest Birth #32 featuring Amanda Stuhldreier appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Hey mamas! Welcome to the thirty-first post in my Honest Birth series! I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring my sister‘s sister-in-law, Rylee! Rylee and her husband Aaron live in Utah and have a two-year-old daughter named Malia. Rylee and Aaron met in Texas while serving missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Rylee enjoys being a stay-at-home mom, but has recently gone back to work as a massage therapist at a physical therapy office. Rylee also sells Polynesian ribbon leis! She and her husband love all things food, sports, family, and friends!

Ready to read her daughter’s story? Let’s do it!

The Birth Story of Malia Ve’e

I was due with my first baby on August 13th, 2017. On August 12th at around 11:30pm I started feeling really nauseated. I was uncomfortable and had serious lower back aches! I hopped in the tub to see if they would go away. They didn’t. I didn’t want to be one of those new moms who went into the hospital and demanded to the nurses that I was having a baby when I was just being a baby. So I called the hospital to talk to one of the nurses. I explained my symptoms and she said it sounded like labor and I should come in just to be safe. When I got to the hospital I was dilated to a 4.5! They admitted me and I got comfortable!

I had planned that my birth would be unmedicated, natural, and all that good stuff. My nurses were on board with that plan and helped me stay on track. One thing a certain nurse kept saying was “We just want a happy, healthy, mom and baby.” And while I agreed, I really wanted my birth to go my way. But I kept smiling and nodding as to agree with her.

My body was dilating SUPER slow, and not effacing. I tried walking around the hospital, bouncing on the peanut ball, and pacing my hospital room while being checked for progress every hour. Finally at 6:00am on August 13th (baby’s due date) the nurse checked me, I was at a 6 finally and she said “Baby is head down, with a head full of hair!” she then told me that she would have the doctor come in and break my water and we could get things going. 

Long story short, the on-call doctor didn’t come until 11:30 am. By that time my baby had decided to flip around and was now breech. I had 2 options–get a C-section and have the baby right now, or get an epidural and the doctor would try to flip her around. Well I was not about to give up that easy and just go for a C-section, so I got the epidural. They did tell me that they would need to give me a higher dose just in case they weren’t successful and I needed to be taken to do an emergency C-section. The doctor was successful in flipping her back so she was head down again. While he was flipping her around I started throwing up because I couldn’t handle all of that pressure on my stomach! After she was head down again the doctor broke my water and I got started on pitocin and I was finally back on track!

Well I labored ALL day. I was dilated to a 7, then an 8, and I was getting so excited! Contractions were getting intense and I had already had the epidural, so I decided to get another one to help cope with the pain. I plateaued at an 8. No progress for 2 hours. Doctor said it was because baby was not descending into the birth canal because her head was positioned in an odd way, and her hand was right by her head.. So they gave me an hour and checked again. Then another hour and checked again. One nurse came in around 10:00 pm and said “With every contraction you’re having we are losing the baby’s heartbeat for about 10 seconds.” I asked if that was dangerous and what needed to be done. The nurse hooked up one of those heart monitors and attached it onto the baby’s head so they could have a continuous heart beat. We were back on track again.

Finally it was 11:45pm. The doctor came in to check and when there was no progress he said “laboring this long with no progress is just causing distress to the baby and to your body.” He then suggested a C-section. I cried!! He said I could keep trying, or I could go back for a C-section. I wanted to have a “happy, healthy mom and baby” like the nurse said, so I decided I was going for a C-section. My husband and I were both prepped for the OR. We prayed, and cried together because this was not our plan. I was sad and I felt like my body had failed me. I laid sobbing on the OR table thinking about what a failure I was when all of a sudden at 12:18am on August 14th I heard that sweet baby girl cry for the first time!! The tears then changed from sadness to overwhelming joy!! I couldn’t believe I had a baby!! She was here and we were both healthy.

She weighed 7 lbs 11oz, and was 19.5 inches long with a head full of hair. She was perfect!

This was not the way I wanted to have a baby. I felt so many emotions in those 26 hours of labor, it was hard and long… BUT I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I was not a failure because I had to get an epidural, or because I had a C-section. My body is amazing! I was able to create a baby, and although I needed help with the delivery, I STILL HAD A FREAKING BABY! How amazing are our bodies!?

{Note: Rylee also wanted to include this as part of her story}  When we found out we were pregnant with Malia we had only been married for 3 weeks. It was not our timing at all. To me it was WAY too fast and I was sad that I didn’t get that special 1-on-1 time with my husband as newlyweds. Basically our whole marriage has always included a baby. Well fast forward to January 2018 when Malia was almost 6 months old and we started trying for our second one. We both wanted to have our kids close in age, but we were still in the “trying phase”. It has been a year and a half of trying with no positive results. I recently went to go see a fertility doctor and got on some medication but so far no luck for us. It is amazing to be on both sides of the spectrum; first with Malia coming way too soon and very unplanned, and now where we have been struggling and praying and wanting for so long. It just goes to show the timing is not our own. They come when they come and that’s okay. We just need to keep living our lives and not obsess over how perfect we want our family whether that’s how close our kids are, what gender they are, etc. I truly have so much respect for those mamas that struggle with infertility.

Wasn’t that beautiful? Sometimes babies don’t come the way we expect, but they are still such amazing blessings! And Rylee is absolutely right that the most important thing is a happy, healthy mama and baby! Thanks so much to Rylee for sharing her story on the Honest Birth series! Make sure you follow her on Instagram here! And check back next month for another Honest Birth post!

The post Honest Birth #31 featuring Rylee Ve’e appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Hey mamas! Welcome to the thirtieth post in my Honest Birth series! I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring Kara Erickson. Kara is the mother to two beautiful daughters; K, who is 2 1/2, and T, who is almost 1. They currently live in the PNW, and before that they spent the last five years in coastal Georgia. Kara loves to run, cook, bake, and most importantly, eat. You can find her most days of the week running with a double stroller pushing her two favorite passengers. You can follow along with her on Instagram @runningkerickson. Today Kara is sharing the emergency C-section birth story of her oldest daughter, K. 

Ready to read her daughter’s story? Let’s do it!

The Birth Story of K Erickson

K is a baby that my husband and I prayed long and hard to be able to have. Months and months of negative pregnancy tests had me wondering if, or at least when, I’d be able to have a baby of my own. I spent many months in a puddle of tears each time I found out it was another negative. I am blessed with an amazing husband who stood by me, and wiped countless tears away, hugged me, and cheered me up time and time again. I remember feeling broken, incomplete, and defeated. At the start of 2016 we sought answers to our failed attempts, we went through testing, and nothing seemed to give us answers as to why we couldn’t get pregnant. Doctors came to our aid and helped us see our options for having our family, and on March 17th at 24-years-old, we found out that with their help, we were finally pregnant, thanks to IUI.

I had a fairly textbook pregnancy. I had Braxton hicks contractions throughout my pregnancy. Apparently some people have that periodic tightening early on, and I was one of them. Up until 38 weeks, I exercised about 5-6 days a week, and other than some back/pelvic pain issues, and some foot numbness at the end of my pregnancy, I really can’t complain on how my pregnancy went. But at my 38 week appointment, my textbook pregnancy took an eventful turn.

I went in for my 38 week appointment after a trip to the gym that morning. I sat in the waiting room anxiously waiting to hear that I was more dilated than the 1cm I was two weeks prior. The nurses took my vitals, 138/84 she said as she read off my blood pressure. I knew immediately it was high, especially for me. My heart sank, but I went on my way back to meet the doctor. Everything seemed normal as I was examined, and with little to no progress, it seemed that I was about to go on my way. Dr. O opted to take my blood pressure again before I left though to see if it was a fluke or not, 136/82, still high, so I was told to make an appointment to come back on Monday (it was Thursday), and have my BP checked again. I was also told that if I had any vision changes, I needed to head to L&D. I felt prompted to ask the doctor if my headache from that morning was related to my blood pressure, and he quickly told me it likely was. We discussed that if my headache didn’t go away with Tylenol in the next few hours it was time to head to L&D.

I left the doctor feeling defeated, but hopeful that everything would be alright. I spent the rest of my day worried, as I felt my headache still lingering. That night, my husband and I decided to stop at the grocery store and check and see if my blood pressure was any better. We decided if it wasn’t lower we’d call the nurse hotline and head to the hospital. My BP this time was 155/78, I think. My heart sank and I took it twice hoping it would miraculously go down. I knew things were getting worse, and the nurse hotline advised us to go to the hospital ER where we’d be directed to L&D.

I packed what was left to put in my hospital bag, showered, and tried to stay calm as we made our way to the hospital. I had been so excited to meet our daughter, but here I was completely scared and worried, and terrified that I wasn’t ready for her to come yet.

As we arrived at the ER, things were far from smooth sailing. We were seen quickly, and my BP was now 196/84. I had a nurse that did my IV wrong, and I had no idea why on earth I was still in the ER when I had been told they’d take me up to L&D. I tried to stay calm, but my nerves were shot. (Funny story, I was given a pregnancy test in the ER, as if walking in 38 weeks pregnant and saying I was pregnant wasn’t enough). Long story short, after 2.5 hours of waiting we finally made it up to L&D and met our amazing L&D nurse Amanda.

Amanda took over my care, and it was such a breath of fresh air. She felt terrible the ER hadn’t called and she therefore hadn’t known I was downstairs. She got us set up, and then even transferred us to a larger room where my husband got a nice couch to try to get some sleep. The OB on that night called and complained to the ER about my poor care. I was then given Cervadil and the contractions started. I was uncomfortable, but tried to sleep.

Unbeknownst to me my mom had booked a ticket to GA to fly in the following morning! So as 9am rolled around, I sent my husband to pick her up because my labor wasn’t progressing quickly. The best news of the rough start labor was that Dr. O (my OB) was working that day in L&D, so he’d be watching over my care. Baby K seemed to be doing well, it all just seemed like it would be one big waiting game. Well, time went on, they removed the Cervadil early and got the Pitocin started.

I had really hoped to be able to have a natural childbirth, but my contractions and swelling started to be more than I could handle. Pitocin contractions are no joke! I remember crying to my husband and my mom that there was no way I could do it. I remember feeling so defeated. Well, time went on, and I was about 6-7 cm. I finally begged for an epidural. After the epidural, I was checked again and not too long after that, my water broke while Dr. O was there. I remember there being some blood and being very concerned, but they tried to tell me everything was normal.

Around 3pm K started not doing so well. Her heart rate started to show some fetal distress. My Dr. and awesome nurse worked together to try to keep her healthy. They started pumping me with fluid hoping it would help her thrive. My Dr.’s face showed that something wasn’t right, and he asked for an OR to be prepped just in case. I remember tears streaming down my face as I begged to not have to have a C-Section. My nurse kept trying to have me move around to find a way that would help K’s vitals to improve. All of a sudden things took off. Her heart rate started to skyrocket and then plummeted to extremely dangerous levels. I was given oxygen, and nurses seemed to start filing into the room. I remember hearing Dr. O as they all the suddenly couldn’t find her heart rate, and he made the call that it was time to head to the OR for an emergency C-section. I was completely hysterical and worried, and it all quickly became a whirlwind of going down the hall. I remember them telling me they’d come back for my husband, (I didn’t know he couldn’t come). I got into the OR and time seemed to be passing quickly, but somehow at a standstill as I knew every second was critical to my baby.

I remember listening to the anesthesiologist and hearing the nurses and Dr. O get set up and cleaning off my belly. And then it all goes dark. I was told later they got K out 90 seconds after I was out.

(6pm-ish) I’ll admit this part is still fuzzy to me, so the details may not be quite right as to who was where exactly, but I’ll try my best. I remember waking up from my C-section completely alone. I had no idea where my baby was, where my husband was, or where my mom was. I hit the call button I saw on my bed, but nothing happened. No one was there. I burst into tears, and started to call out trying to figure out what was going on. The nurses finally heard my desperate cries for help, and came to my side. I asked them to please find my husband or my mom.

Eventually, I was met by the NICU Dr. and I was told the news that I had given birth to a very sick baby. I was told she was born as white as a bed sheet (hypoxic) and that she had lost a lot of blood. I wasn’t told how exactly what she was doing. I remember not even knowing if she was alive. They finally got around to the part of telling me that she may have brain damage, and that she needed special care. I quickly asked that they please let my husband go be with her. My husband left my side and there I was again alone. In the next few hours my husband brought me my first pictures of our perfect, but very sick baby K. 5 pounds 15oz and 20.5 inches long. Even under all that medical equipment, she was perfect to me.

She was placed on something called an HIE protocol of three days on being in a medically induced sort of hypothermia to help repair potential brain damage, and then they spend the 4th day slowly warming our baby back up. We couldn’t hold her, and she was in a lot of pain. On day four, I was finally able to hold my daughter. For the first time I felt like a real mom, and not just someone chained to a pump trying to pump every two hours. It took 10 days for us to bring K home from the NICU and to get my high blood pressure under control.

My birth wasn’t what I imagined it would be. Some might see my c-section scar and feel bad or wonder if I’m “self-conscious” about it. Every time I see my scar, I think of how blessed I am that my daughter is alive today. Even now 2.5 years later she’s beating the odds. She shows no ill-effects from her rough start and we can’t imagine our lives without her.

Wasn’t that wild? Kara and I actually both had a very similar experience getting pregnant, but our births were so different. And I love how she has made peace with her emergency C-section, even though it was far from what she had planned for! Thanks so much to Kara for sharing her story on the Honest Birth series! Make sure you follow her on Instagram here! And check back next month for another Honest Birth post!

The post Honest Birth #30 featuring Kara Erickson appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Hey mamas! Welcome to the twenty-ninth post in my Honest Birth series! I’m excited to share another real mama’s birth story, because I think it’s so important to share our childbirth experiences with each other. My goal with this series is to provide a place for women to share their birth stories without holding anything back, as well as compile stories for pregnant mamas to read in preparation for their own childbirth experiences. Every mama is different and every birth is different, and I believe that when we share our stories we help each other.

Today I am featuring my friend Lindsey Hawes. Lindsey and I met last year through church and have become good friends. Our kids love playing with each other, and we have the same sense of humor, which I really appreciate! Lindsey and her husband have three kids and live here in Minnesota. Lindsey was born and raised in Clinton, Tennessee, and besides being a stay-at-home mom, she battles dragons, negotiates complex sibling treaties, and cooks three course meals nobody eats due to “disgusting vegetables.” She constantly daydreams of the day when her singing voice will call to the woodland creatures, who will take over all cleaning duties, leaving sparkly perfection in their wake. Today Lindsey is sharing the birth story of her first baby, a girl, who is now eight years old. 

Ready to read her daughter’s story? Let’s do it!

The Birth Story of Avery Hawes

I was twenty-nine when I had my first baby. We had been married for four years and had purposely waited until my husband had finished grad school before starting our family. There were spreadsheets, budgets, and timelines. Greg had graduated and secured gainful employment, we had just purchased our first house, and things were going along perfectly. We thought we had everything planned (I mean it was on a spreadsheet) and we were totally ready. But life happens.

Upon graduating, Greg and I moved to Minnesota where he could pursue a career in public accounting. In case you’re unfamiliar with accounting firms, there’s something called “busy season,” (typically January-end of March) where employees are “strongly encouraged” not to take any vacation or leave. So, this was taken into account during our family planning. We were ecstatic to find out I was due March 24 because this fit in perfectly with our timeline. So, we found a house, moved in and started getting ready for a baby.

I don’t want to brag or anything but I throw up A LOT when I’m pregnant. With my first pregnancy, that first trimester was a killer. Morning, afternoon, evening, it didn’t matter, I was constantly nauseated. I lost around 10 lbs. those first few months. Food didn’t sound good, look good, or even taste that great. Random things would make me sick. The worst was probably the morning I had frosted flakes come out of my nose while throwing up. So gross. And yet it tasted EXACTLY the same. I’ll never forget it. The first trimester finally gave way to the second and with that transition my body acclimated to its new purpose. Doctors appointments were going well. The baby was measuring a good week or so ahead size wise. The holidays came and went and soon it was January.

January in Minnesota means cold and snow….and basically all the things you associate/hate about winter. Greg was now in the throws of busy season which meant 80-90 hour work weeks and me home alone the majority of the time. Monday, January 25th it snowed a little, maybe a half inch, and I decided to shovel it. Please don’t mistake, I never actually lifted anything. I merely scooted the snow around with a shovel. It wasn’t heavy, or strenuous. But I was tired afterward. I was 32 weeks pregnant and thought that was pretty par for the course; then my back started aching a bit. Again, nothing major, it felt kind of like a running cramp. I took some Tylenol and the pain disappeared. Greg got home and I went to bed. Around 5 in the morning my back started aching a little bit again so I got up and took some more Tylenol and watched a Discovery Channel special on the ancient Egyptians. (It’s funny the things you remember.) I also truly believed that I had just somehow tweaked a muscle in my back and this had nothing at all to do with the baby; I mean, I wasn’t due for another 8 weeks.

The day was uneventful. No weird aches or pains. No more snow. I read, cleaned, and made plans to meet with my sister-in-law to pick out paint for the baby’s room. Greg and I were picking out baby furniture that weekend and we were going to be SO ready when the baby came.

We were fools.

Around 8 pm on January 26th I got up from the couch with a list of tasks to complete. 1. Go to the bathroom. 2. Get a granola bar. 3. Get my phone charger because my phone was dead. 4. Get a blanket because it’s cold in Minnesota in January. When I stood up and started walking up the stairs I noticed I was…. dripping. The first thing I thought was “Oh man, I heard this could happen. I probably should have gone to the bathroom sooner.” So, I went to the bathroom and discovered, after relieving myself, I was still dripping.

In the movies they show a woman’s water breaking with a huge gush of water and a dramatic puddle forming at her feet. Let me reiterate, that wasn’t what happened. This was a small faucet drip, constant and annoying but not unmanageable. However, I was home alone (Greg was still “accounting” somewhere) and figured I needed some advice from a professional. So, I called my doctor.

Dr. Peterson was a wizened professional with decades of experience and thousands of babies delivered. He helped advocate for a woman’s right to choose epidurals or natural births and he LISTENED to me. I trusted him completely. (I still do…he didn’t die or anything, but he did retire.) When I told him I was leaking he calmly told me to come in and get checked out. He was so calm I didn’t think twice about it and figured I’d be sent home soon after with a pat on the head. I then called my husband and left a short vague message about going to the hospital and to call me back immediately. I was calm because I didn’t believe we were having a baby yet. I was still trying to convince myself that I was totally overreacting and I had just peed myself because given the two choices, peeing myself was actually the BETTER alternative, which isn’t the case most of the time.

I called my mother-in-law, as Greg was still not answering his phone, and asked if she’d mind giving me a ride to the hospital which she quickly agreed to. Then I started running around my room, pretty much in circles, trying to think of things to pack just in case this was really IT (I was still thinking this might all be a HUGE mistake). I packed clothes for myself and a few things for Greg, and half the toiletry items I need…and when I say half I mean half, like I packed my toothbrush but no toothpaste, and I packed my deodorant but forgot Greg’s, stuff like that. And you have to know me but I am a little obsessive compulsive about packing so after everything was said and done, finding out I had done this DROVE ME CRAZY (and that’s why they tell you to have a hospital bag ready to go).

My mother-in-law Faye arrives to find me running all over the place (leaving a nice cute little trail in my wake in the process). She calmly tells me to get in the car. I ignore her the first three times and try to finish packing before she finally says, “Lindsey, GET IN THE CAR.”

You see at this point I still FELT fine, no pains, no contractions, no nothing, except for that pesky back pain that I got from “shoveling.” It wasn’t until we were halfway to the hospital that I started to feel cranky and all of a sudden, my stomach hurt.

Faye took me to the Emergency Room entrance and a nice man wheeled me up to the maternal assessment unit in an old-fashioned wheelchair that looked like it belonged on the set of a 1920’s horror movie. Greg was already there and I was SO glad to see him. He was so calm.

We got to the assessment unit around 9:30 pm and that’s when the McCarthyesque interrogation began. Let me tell you, I have never answered SO many questions in my entire life than on that night. And frankly it is the WORST time to be asking anybody questions. I understand they need to know medical information like are you allergic to air and things of that nature, but really do you need to ask me “How do you handle pain?” (to which I responded–I DON’T TALK.) My stomach hurt and my back hurt and people would NOT STOP talking to me. At some point the nurse came in and told me I was already a “5” which meant there was no turning back, and I was really having the baby…like right then.

You know how they tell you “you can’t describe labor pain?” Well that’s TRUE. You live pain to pain. Moment to moment. My only thought was, “You’re going to be ok. Women do this all the time so you’re going to be ok.” Then the nurse asked me what my pain level was; I thought about it for a minute and said “7”…why did I say “7?” Because a “10” would be like burning alive while drowning in my mind…and I didn’t feel that badly yet. Then the nurse asked “So how high do you want to go before you try pain meds?” That’s when I said “Uh not much higher thank you.” So they ordered an epidural. I’m pretty sure the nurse kept asking me questions, but I ignored her.

Greg, however, was great! He didn’t talk to me at ALL and if he did it was only to ask if I was doing ok. He would wink or smile or softly pull my hair out of my face and pat or hold my hand. He was PERFECT. Bonus points to him for actually listening to my answers.

After I was fully “assessed” they wheeled me to what I call the intermission room, mostly because I don’t know what else to call it. There I received an epidural. Up until that moment I hadn’t really decided if I was going to try the natural route or go with an epidural, but at that moment I was truly grateful for the drugs. Things were happening fast and furious. And there was an underlying feeling of deep apprehension; 8 weeks early isn’t extreme, but it is early. The nurse told me I’d be in the intermission room until I was a “10,” so I figured I had a while—I was TOTALLY wrong. After getting the epidural they checked me and I was a “9.” Time check: approximately 12:00 AM; so off we went.

After receiving the marvelous medicine, they wheeled me into the super sterile and white and bright delivery room. Contractions were coming fast and furious. The doctor asked if I’d like to watch in the mirror. That was a big nope for me; I’m not good with blood and grossness. The nice nurse lady asked me if I was ready, and I said “sure, let’s do this.” She promptly responded “oh honey this part will probably take hours.” Challenge accepted. I pushed for 24 minutes and then there she was, placed on my chest all gooey and screaming. Cone head and all. I couldn’t believe it, still can’t believe it, really. It all happened SO fast. Avery was 4lbs 10 oz. and 17 1/2 inches long. She never needed oxygen and only had to remain in the NICU for 17 days. Many prayers were answered that night. She, though 8 weeks early, was perfect, and we count our blessings everyday that her birth was as positive an experience as it was.

Wasn’t that so crazy? You never really know what labor is like until you go through it yourself, and even then it’s hard to believe it’s really happening! Thanks so much to Lindsey for sharing her story on the Honest Birth series! And check back next month for another Honest Birth post!

The post Honest Birth #29 featuring Lindsey Hawes appeared first on Life With My Littles.