I’ve been journaling ever since I could write.

My first journal was a Little House on the Prairie journal where you wrote about your best friend and what you liked to do together. It had a purple plaid border on it and a picture of sisters Laura and Mary Ingalls on the cover. I’m pretty sure it even came with a locket.

Over the years I’ve filled several notebooks, diaries, blog posts, and journals with my thoughts and feelings. My parents still have them all in a box in their storage unit! I love journaling for lots of different reasons, and I’ve gone through periods of writing every day to more recently, writing every few weeks. Keeping a journal has always been a big part of my life, and I honestly love doing it!

There are lots of reasons I enjoy journaling, but I’ve narrowed it down to my top five reasons I love to journal, and why you should journal, too, and I wanted to share them today! If you’ve wanted to get into journaling but haven’t ever felt motivated enough, this is a great post to help you get started!

Five Reasons I Love to Journal

1. Journaling improves my emotional and mental wellbeing

Sometimes when I sit down and try to process my feelings, I get distracted or quickly think of other things I should be doing (mom problems, am I right?). But if I sit down and write down how I’m feeling, I’m able to identify, accept, and process what I’m feeling, good or bad.

Sitting down and journaling also helps me get clarity when I’m trying to figure things out. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve felt lost at the start of a journaling session and then by the end, felt so much clearer.

Journaling helps me get perspective and recognize what exactly it is that I’m worrying about. It helps me both emotionally and mentally because it helps me understand and cope with the feelings and thoughts that I have. We all have rough days, especially as moms, and when we’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed or like we’re about to snap, sitting down and journaling helps a ton! There’s really nothing quite like journaling to regain peace and direction in your life!

2. Journaling is a way to document things for my posterity

I want my kids and my future grandkids to know what my life was like, what I went through, what I learned, and how I felt about different challenges and events in my life. I know very little about my grandparents and their lives, and I don’t want that to be the case for my kids and grandkids. Journals are such great records for posterity, and that’s one reason I love to journal.

I also have one journal for each of my kids that I call their “memory journals,” where I record what they’re like at different ages, funny things they do or say, and little updates about them each year on their birthdays. I know when they’re older and I give them to them, they’re going to be special treasures that they hold dear. And I love writing these things in journals because it makes them even more personal and unique gifts!

3. Keeping a journal helps me remember things

I am notoriously forgetful, and I know that if I didn’t write down how I felt during events in my life, I would definitely forget the details. Journaling is a way to help me remember the little things that mean so much to me. I love to write about the quiet moments when my kids have fallen asleep in my arms, how it felt to hold them for the first time, and what it was like when my husband and I first started dating. It’s fun for me to read these journal entries and have the memories come flooding back to me. There are some things you just never want to forget, and journaling makes it so that I don’t have to worry about that!

4. I’m a better writer than speaker and I get my thoughts down better when I write

As much as I would love to be a motivational speaker, I’d be terrible at it. Even sometimes in regular conversations my thoughts get away from me and things just come out a mess. I’m a much better writer and when I write, I am able to get my thoughts down a lot better. I don’t know if it’s taking the time before writing or making sure that I use the right words, but I’m definitely better at writing than speaking. So it makes sense that in order for me to get clarity, sometimes I need to write things down rather than talk them out with someone.

5. Reading my journal entries helps me see how much I’ve grown

Self-reflection is an important part of journaling, and I’m able to learn a lot about myself when I go back and read old journal entries. I can reflect on how far I’ve come, mistakes I’ve made and what I’ve learned from them, and really see who I am and what makes me who I am. I can also read entires right after I’ve written them and gain new insight and direction.

It’s important to journal so that you can go back and see all the challenges you went through and what you learned. Going back and reading old journal entries helps me remember past blessings I’ve received and helps me see how much I’ve grown, through high school, college, my early married life, having my first baby, all the way up to now.

I truly love journaling. It’s a wonderful outlet when I’m feeling stressed, it’s a great way to keep a record of my life, and it helps improve my emotional and mental wellbeing.

I also think that there’s really a way to make journaling enjoyable no matter who you are. There are so many different kinds of journals and pens to choose from, you can include pictures or old ticket stubs or even family recipes! There are even apps that can help you journal by giving you prompts or ideas to get started!

There are so many reasons why you should keep a journal. All you have to do is find what works for you and get started!

The post 5 Reasons Why You Should Keep a Journal appeared first on Life With My Littles.

I’d like to argue that mental health is the most important part of self-care for moms.

We can take care of our bodies and feel like we have things going on outside of motherhood, have mom friends and feel spiritually fed, but if we aren’t taking care of our mental health, none of that is going to make a difference.

When we feel stressed or anxious or depressed or overwhelmed or hopeless, even if it’s just for a little bit, it impacts our ability to function and impacts the people around us.

We aren’t supposed to be stressed or sad or down all the time. Sure, it’s normal to have a bad day, but if you’re having bad days every day, something might be wrong!

Mental health can get in the way of doing everyday activities. It can prevent you from feeling up to getting out of bed, packing lunches, doing laundry, running errands, visiting with friends, and playing with your kids. That can be a problem!

Just like any other part of our bodies, our minds can get sick. It doesn’t mean you’re being punished or you did something wrong, it’s not a weakness, and it’s not your fault. Mental illness can happen to anyone.

One of the most important things to remember is that it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, sometimes things won’t get better unless you do. Mental illnesses also affect moms long after the postpartum period has ended. So don’t feel like just because you didn’t have a baby recently you can’t ask for help. You can.

I know it’s hard for moms to seek out mental health care. It took me months to finally go to the doctor for my PMDD. But one more day of suffering is one more day of suffering, and if you put it off, you’ll just keep suffering and feeling pain! The hardest part of getting help is taking the first step, whether that’s telling someone how you feel, scheduling an appointment for yourself, or even acknowledging that something isn’t right.

The only way things are going to get easier is to open up and talk about them. And not only can opening up help you, but it can also help others who are dealing with the same things.

Now I know that not everybody suffers from mental illness. And even if you don’t struggle with depression or anxiety or any mental illness that can be diagnosed, it’s still important to take care of your mental health!

And regardless of whether or not you have a mental illness, there are things you can (and should!) do to help you stay on top of your mental health.

Self-Care for Moms: Ideas for Better Mental Health

Take time to breathe, reflect, and sit still

This one is definitely harder said than done when you’re a mom, but it’s important. Sometimes we’re going so fast all day long that we forget to be still. It can help you feel more calm (obviously) and present.

Find an outlet

There are several things that could help you release any tension or stress you feel. It might be meditation (the Motherhood Unstressed podcast is a great tool for this!), doing something creative like painting or knitting, reading (fiction or non-fiction!), or journaling (the Dive Thru app is a really cool journaling app that gives you guided journaling exercises to help you take charge of your mental wellbeing-even after one session I felt more clarity and direction!).

Acknowledge your feelings

It might be hard, but you have to acknowledge the feelings that you’re having, good or bad. You’re allowed to have all feelings, and you shouldn’t feel bad or ashamed or deny the feelings you have just because they aren’t “good” feelings. Acknowledge your feelings, feel them, and if you can, move on. If you can’t, do more of these ideas!

Talk about how you feel

Once you’ve acknowledged your feelings and maybe even written them down, you need to talk about them. It might be with a friend, your spouse, a parent, a therapist, a doctor, or even someone anonymous. Saying the words out loud is harder than writing them down, but it can help you start to heal. And chances are, you’re not the only one feeling those things, either!

Read or display affirmations

And I don’t just mean things like “you’re beautiful” and “you are loved,” which are great, and you should definitely read those, too. But I think there are better affirmations to help your mental health. Things like “you can do this,” “this will pass,” “they’ll grow out of it,” “no one has it all together,” “don’t compare yourself,” and “I can do this.” Say one of those to yourself when your feeling like a hot mess and it might help you feel more grounded and like you have a handle on things!

Take a break from screens

I love me some screen time (Disney+ is my FAVE), but it can really help clear your mind and help you refocus on what’s important when you take a break from screens. Try disconnecting one day a week and see how it can help your mental health. I stay off of social media every Sunday and it’s honestly refreshing! If my business wasn’t done primarily on social media, I would probably do it more often! It helps me be present and connect with my family and friends more (which is of course good for your mental health!).

Find a way to keep track of your thoughts and ideas

One thing I struggle with is feeling like I’m going to forget ideas that I have. It might be groceries I need to get, ideas for blog posts or my kids’ birthday parties, or something I want to do for a friend. I usually get these ideas at night and lay in bed for hours feeling anxious trying to keep all my thoughts straight. Something that helps me (a lot) is writing these late-night ideas in the reminders section of my phone. You may want to do something similar, or use a notebook or planner to keep track of things. Mamas are BUSY and have so much to manage, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel anxious when you feel like you’re going to forget to do all the things you have to do!

Treat it

Sometimes doing these things isn’t enough. Sometimes, it’s not just a bout of sadness or a single panic attack. Sometimes, you need to treat your mental health. And when it comes to that, you can try natural remedies, therapy, or medication. Sometimes a combination of these things is what you might need. Everyone is different, so treatment looks different for everyone. And if you can’t afford therapy (because it is dang expensive), or you just want to do it from home, check out the app Bloom. It combines interactive video sessions with guided CBT journaling exercises to give users a new and affordable way to therapy and improve their mental well-being (even if you don’t have a mental illness, it’s great!).

Have a plan in place

Make a plan before things get bad, before you feel like you’re going to breakdown and lose it. Pick something you can do when you feel like things are getting too dark so when you get to that point, you’re not lost at what to do. It might be to call your mom or best friend, get outside for even just a few minutes to breathe, sit in your car and close your eyes, or go buy your favorite Starbucks drink and drive around for a while. Deciding beforehand what you’re going to do when you’re about to crack will make it easier when the time comes to do something positive instead of negative.

Whether you suffer from a mental illness or not, it’s important to take care of your mental health. Mamas, we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of the people around us, and that absolutely includes taking care of our mental health. Fortunately, people are talking more about mental health these days, but there’s still so much more we can do. When we’re open and we share our struggles and successes, we can help not only ourselves, but others struggling with their own mental health, too.

Check out the other posts in the Self-Care for Moms series:

• Self-Care for Moms – A Six-Part Series
• Self-Care for Moms – Physical Health

Check out the other posts in the Self-Care for Moms series:

• Self-Care for Moms – A Six-Part Series
• Self-Care for Moms – Physical Health
• Self-Care for Moms – Finding Yourself
• Self-Care for Moms – Spirituality
• Self-Care for Moms – Connection

The post Self-Care for Moms – Mental Health appeared first on Life With My Littles.

A few months ago, I was stuck. Not like having-a-hard-time-finishing-a-blog post stuck, but like what-am-I-even-doing-and-how-am-I-going-to-keep-doing-this stuck. It was rough. 

I felt stuck, and I was having a hard time figuring out how to stop feeling stuck and get things back on track. I felt lost and like I didn’t know where I wanted to go with my blog, like there was just not enough time in the day to get everything done that I wanted, and like I was losing my motivation and desire to keep this space going. The little behind-the-scenes things that I have to do to keep my site running and get my posts out there were draining me and making it hard to keep going.

I’m assuming if you’re reading this, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Everybody has times in their lives when they feel stuck. It might be in your job, in your relationships, in your responsibilities, or in achieving your goals. Sometimes giving up and walking away seems like less work than continuing to figure it out and solve the problem. 

You may have guessed that since I’m still here writing I figured it out and got un-stuck. There were a few things that completely turned it around for me, and today, I want to share them with you. I want to tell you how to stop feeling stuck, get your motivation back, and find fulfillment in your life!

And if you’re thinking that I’m only talking about blogging, I’m not. You can apply these tips to stop feeling stuck in whatever it is you’re stuck in, and I’m positive they’ll help!

Here we go!

How to Stop Feeling Stuck

1. Give yourself a break.

Take a step back, whether that’s for a day or for a week or two. It’s okay to need a break, and depending on what it is you’re stuck in, you can give yourself a long one or a short one. Obviously if you’re feeling stuck in something like motherhood you can’t really take a week off, but you can ask your husband to take over for a night while you go to dinner and a movie by yourself. There’s always a way to give yourself a break.

I love writing and creating content to help other mamas enjoy their lives, but I also needed to remember that my priority is to my family and my health, and when those things suffer, I need to step back and give myself a break!

2. Remember your why.

This is a biggie. No matter what it is you’re stuck in, there’s a reason you got started in it in the first place. Sometimes our “why” gets swallowed up in all the menial tasks we have to do, and we forget what really led us to that thing in the first place. 

One afternoon I sat down with a pen and a piece of paper and wrote down my why, where I want to go (basically what I want to accomplish in the future), why I couldn’t stop, and what was holding me back. Sure, I knew all these things in my mind, but it was a total game-changer to see them written down on paper (especially the “what’s holding me back?” answers).

3. Make a plan.

Your plan might be one or two steps or it might be ten. You can start from the beginning or you can start from the end and work your way back. Sometimes even just having a few simple things you know you can do is enough to get you un-stuck. Look at your answers to “what’s holding me back?” and “where do I want to go?” and use the solutions to make a plan. 

Doing all of this was kind of my plan, and it helped a lot. I also decided to cut back in a few places and give myself some slack (which is why I’m only posting once a week and doing one Honest Birth post per month now). I realized that I needed more time so I needed to be more intentional with my time. I also felt burned out so I decided to take breaks and try and remember that I don’t have to squeeze work into every bit of free time I have. 

It’s okay if you aren’t sure if your plan will work or if it seems more like a starting point than an actual plan. You have to start somewhere, and the rest of the steps will help you figure it out!

4. See how it works for a week or two.

Test it out! You may have struck gold or it may need a little bit of tweaking. You’re not going to know until you try your plan out. Follow your plan for a few weeks and see what happens!

5. Adjust your plan.

If your plan is going pretty well but it could be better, adjust it! Maybe you need to find more time or get some help. Find a way to do so. Maybe your plan is crap and hasn’t helped at all (I hope not!). Trash it and make a new plan. Not every plan will be great on the first try, but that’s okay! You have to be proactive about getting un-stuck because it’s not just going to happen on its own.

I recognized that my plan was going great. I was less stressed, felt like I had more time for my family (which was a big part of me being stuck), and I was enjoying blogging more. I actually haven’t made any adjustments yet, but I may soon with summer vacation right around the corner! 

6. Get help. 

It could be hiring an employee, asking a friend to watch the kids for one morning a week, inviting your husband or kids to pick up a few chores, or just finding someone to vent to. We’re not meant to do everything alone, and the bigger the aspiration, the bigger the team you’ll need. Getting help will look different for everyone, so figure out what it means to you and jump on it!

7. Re-evaluate.

Just because your plan is working for the first month or two, doesn’t mean it will continue to work down the line. Every so often re-evaluate how things are going. Like I said, I’m probably going to have to re-evaluate my plan once school is out and my kids are home during quiet time, and that’s okay. Different seasons in life call for different plans. 

You can do it!

Things can seem pretty bleak when you’re stuck. And figuring out how to stop feeling stuck is hard on your own. Hopefully these seven tips can help you get back on track and help remind you why you started the thing you’re stuck in in the first place. They worked for me and I really hope the work for you, too! 

There’s a time and a season for all things. You don’t have to run faster than you have strength, and you don’t have to chase every single one of your goals right now. Nobody can do it all, and no matter how put together we all seem, we’re all constantly figuring out how to make things work. And that’s fine.

You’re amazing and you can do it and you’ve got this, mama!

The post How to Stop Feeling Stuck appeared first on Life With My Littles.

At first I thought it was just bad PMS.

Last September, the week before I got my period I noticed that I wasn’t quite feeling like myself. I felt down, irritable, and unmotivated. I didn’t want to do anything, I was overwhelmed easily, and all my normal responsibilities felt like way too much to handle. But I knew I was due for my period so I assumed it was PMS. I had just switched to a hormone-free birth control, and I figured my body was probably adjusting and what I was going through was normal.

I asked people on Instagram what they did when their PMS got out of hand and the answers didn’t seem strong enough. “Eat some chocolate.” “Go to Taco Bell.” “Exercise.” “A good movie.” “Diet Coke.” “Ice cream.” These seemed like treatment for the PMS I had experienced in high school, not what I was feeling right now.

The next month it got worse. This out-of-control PMS started the week before my period and didn’t end until several days after I got my period. It was starting to impact my ability to function and be the mom, wife, and friend I normally was. I was spending my days laying on the couch while my kids watched hours of television, I wasn’t making dinner and we were picking up a lot of fast food, and I had even started wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled up over my head because it made me feel like I was hiding. I felt almost like two different people, my happy, normal, busy self during the first two-thirds of the month, and then like an irritable, unreliable zombie the last third of the month. It was horrible.

One day towards the end of my cycle, I broke down. I full on laid down on the carpet and sobbed. I tried to explain what was going on to my husband through tears, and he did his best to comfort me. Lucky for me he’s a doctor, and he thought he had an idea of what might be going on.

PMDD. Not PPD. Not PMS. PMDD. Four new letters that stood for something I hadn’t ever heard anyone mention before.

PMDD stands for premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and I refer to it as the evil cousin of PMS. PMDD feels like an out-of-control, emotional roller-coaster that you get on every month for 8-12 days. You recognize that you’re acting differently, but there’s very little you can do to stop it. It honestly feels like you’re going crazy. Scheduling and planning things becomes complicated because you have to plan outings and events around your cycle. Little things drive you crazy, you snap at the people closest to you, you have anxiety attacks out of nowhere, and all you want to do is lay in bed with your head under the covers. It’s miserable.

There’s not a lot of research done on PMDD because it’s a relatively new diagnosis. I had a hard time finding posts written by people who have actually gone through it, but after searching for a while, I found a few people who recommended trying St. John’s Wort and cutting back on caffeine. One of my good friends even confessed to me that she struggled with PMDD, too, and that St. John’s Wort had helped her.

In November, I tried taking St. John’s Wort starting at day 14 in my cycle and I did feel better by the end of the month. But in December, things didn’t go quite as well. I hadn’t been taking it as long because I tracked my cycle wrong, and the last few days were pretty rough. We had family in town and even my mother-in-law noticed I wasn’t acting like myself. I ended up taking two pills instead of one and it did seem to help, but then in January, the St. John’s Wort felt like it had lost its effectiveness. 

It was about this time that I remembered an episode from my favorite podcast Awesome With Alison where Alison talked about her struggle with anxiety. She said “Don’t wait to get help until it gets worse…Twelve more hours of suffering is twelve more hours of suffering. One more anxiety attack is one more anxiety attack, and there is no magic number or rule of breakdowns or feeling down that you need to hit in order to reach out to get help.” 

I knew that it was time to get help.

I knew that I couldn’t do this on my own anymore and that if I just kept waiting for it to get better on its own, it wasn’t going to happen. PMDD was affecting my relationships with my kids and my husband, my business, and my ability to fulfill my responsibilities. I didn’t want to stay miserable when I could get help.

I saw a doctor in January a few days before I was due to get my period. As soon as she asked me what was going on I broke down crying. I told her how I felt like two different people, how awful I felt from the time a week before my period to a few days after, how I was suffering and the people around me were suffering as a result, what I had tried to make it better, and how I just felt like I needed to reach out and get help. I had some blood tests that all came back normal and she prescribed some antidepressants and a vitamin D supplement. I went home feeling hopeful that things were going to turn around.

I wasn’t on the medicine long enough for it to help during that cycle, but in February, I could definitely tell a difference when my “crazy time” (as I had started calling it) rolled around. I felt 90% better. By March’s cycle, I felt like myself again. I was able to get things done on time, make dinner, and actually be there for my family. Some days are still hard and I’ve had to scale back my work a little in order to prevent the stress and anxiety from resurfacing, but for the most part, I’m figuring it out and feeling a lot better.

If you think you might be struggling with PMDD, find a doctor who will listen to you, show compassion, and help you feel like yourself again. There’s no reason to wait until it gets worse.

I’ve been on antidepressants for three months now, and it’s made a huge difference. I’m so grateful for modern medicine and that I recognized I needed to get professional help. It’s hard to admit that I was struggling so deeply, but I think it’s incredibly important to be honest and open about mental health. There’s nothing shameful about struggling with a mental disorder. 

Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week 2019

This week is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, sponsored by The Blue Dot Project, and it’s something I’m very passionate about. You can’t be the best mom you can be when you’re struggling with mental health disorders (as I’ve discovered first-hand), and there are so many different mental health disorders that mothers struggle with. Postpartum depression, prenatal depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum psychosis, anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and PMDD are all real, all heavy, and all incredibly difficult to deal with on top of the craziness of motherhood.

This year’s MMHW theme is #MakingOverMotherhood. The goal is to literally make over the way we talk about motherhood by talking about the things that mothers often hide–the real struggles. We all struggle with feelings of loneliness, guilt, worthlessness, sadness, and for many of us, these feelings are caused by mental health disorders.

The Blue Dot Project wants to make over the image of a perfect motherhood and the notion that moms can do it all without support. “With the prevalence of women suffering from maternal mental health disorders like postpartum depression as high as 1 in 5, acknowledging how difficult motherhood can be is critical to both potentially preventing these disorders by helping to set realistic expectations, and in letting women who are suffering know they are not alone” (from the MMHAW 2019 Press Release).

There’s no such thing as a perfect mother, and the goal of the campaign is to encourage moms to post photos of what’s really going on in their lives, including the things they don’t want people to see. Motherhood is hard for all of us, and it’s empowering and helps all of us when we share authentically without worrying about being judged or shamed.

Whether or not you’re struggling with PMDD, postpartum depression, or none of these things, I challenge you to participate in the #MakingOverMotherhood campaign. Share what’s really going on behind those happy, perfect pictures you post. Open up and let other moms know that things aren’t perfect, we all struggle, and that’s 100% okay. We shouldn’t feel ashamed to share the hard parts of motherhood, because they definitely exist for all of us. 

You’re doing a great job, mama.

Not everything we share with our girlfriends or post to social media has to be perfect, because real life isn’t perfect. We all have bad days mixed in with the good. It’s okay to share the bad, because it helps us all realize that we really aren’t alone in our struggles. You don’t have to feel 100% super awesome all the time (spoiler alert: no one does), and you don’t have to pretend like you are, either. We can’t help each other or truly be there for each other if we don’t open up and share when we’re feeling down or stressed or like we’re in a cloud. Next time you feel like crap and someone asks you how you’re doing, it’s okay to say not good. You’re allowed to have feelings, and oh how big those feelings are sometimes.

It took me a while to get to a place where I felt like I could talk about what was going on (remember, this started in September, over seven months ago, and I’ve only vaguely hinted to it on my blog before today), but I’m happy to share my story if it helps another mama going through PMDD or any other MMH disorder realize that it’s okay to ask for help. Don’t wait another day to get help. You’ve got this, mama.

If you think you might be struggling with PMDD and want someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me at chelsea@lifewithmylittles.com.

The post What is PMDD? appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Before my first son was born almost four years ago, I had never really heard anyone talk about postpartum depression. Even once my son was born when I filled out the new mom survey I never really thought much about why they were giving it to me.

When my daughter was born two years ago, I still didn’t think about it as something that was serious. Nobody talked to me about it, and I definitely wouldn’t have been prepared if I had developed postpartum depression.

Now I am preparing for the birth of my third child, and I still don’t see much talk about postpartum depression. It’s one of those taboo but very common things women don’t talk about like infertility, miscarriages, or problems breastfeeding. And even though I’ve never suffered from postpartum depression myself, I know a lot of people who have. And I know a lot of people who were completely unprepared for what it did to them.

Having a baby is a crazy stressful, emotional, hormonal time in your life, and sometimes it can really mess with your brain. If the feelings of anxiety and stress and sadness don’t go away after two weeks (source), you may be suffering from postpartum depression. You may have heard of the “baby blues” which aren’t serious and should go away after a few days or a few weeks. But if it’s been two weeks and you are still depressed or have severe mood swings, cry a lot, have a hard time bonding with your baby, are withdrawing from family and friends, have a change in eating habits or sleeping habits, feel fatigued, anxious, irritable, angry, worthless, guilt, or inadequate, don’t enjoy things you used to, have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, that is not normal and you need to get help for postpartum depression.

I talked to a lot of mothers who have suffered publicly and privately, and I want to tell you 15 things you should know about postpartum depression before your baby is born so you can be prepared and know how to get help if you need it.

1. Postpartum depression can happen to anyone. Having a history of mental illness in your family or yourself does not mean that you will either get it or not. Lots of women are diagnosed with postpartum depression and have no history of depression or mental disorders in their family. You might not even have postpartum depression with your first baby, but then be diagnosed with your second. Even if you don’t feel depressed at all during your pregnancy, you could still get it. There’s really no way to know if you are going to have it or not, so the best way to get ahead of it is to prepare yourself before your baby is born.

2. Know that you are not alone. A LOT of women deal with postpartum depression, both silently and publicly, and having it doesn’t mean that you have done something wrong or that there is something wrong with you. It’s just a complication of giving birth, and up to 1 in 7 women have it (source). Chances are, you have friends who have postpartum depression or have suffered from it in the past. It really is nothing to be ashamed of.

3. Admitting something is wrong is the first step. If you don’t feel like yourself, don’t brush it under the rug. I talked to a lot of moms who had a hard time admitting that something was wrong. These symptoms are not normal, and you might need to get help to deal with them. The first step to getting help is to admit that there is a problem.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You may not be able to fight postpartum depression on your own, so once you have admitted something is wrong, ask for help. It’s totally fine (actually it’s great!) to ask for help. You shouldn’t be shy about having postpartum depression and you don’t need to hide it. That definitely won’t help. Be open about what you are going through and know that it’s okay to talk about it.

5. Talk to someone and get the support you need. So many of my friends said that once they admitted something was wrong and talked to their doctor, things slowly started getting better. Doctors can help you by finding counseling or support groups and prescribing medication. It might take a few tries to find a doctor or therapist who listens and understands what you are going through, but don’t give up. One of my friends told me that online support groups were very helpful, too. Find one where you can talk to other moms going through postpartum depression (The Emily Effect is a great one). It will help you see that you really aren’t alone!

6. Medication can really help. Sometimes talking about what’s going on isn’t enough, and your body will need a little more to start the healing process. Antidepressants can really help you get into a different mindset and start feeling a little better. You also might have to try different kinds before you find one that works for you, so be patient.

7. Reduce stress for after the birth of your baby any way you can. Don’t move two months after your baby is born, don’t offer to plan a big party or school fundraiser with a newborn in the home, and don’t plan on renovating your kitchen as soon as you get home from the hospital. Stress will not help, so do things you can to help reduce stress and prepare before your baby is born so you will be ready for the transition (here are 25 things to do before your baby is born that can help get you prepare for your baby’s birth).

8. Postpartum depression can happen even a year or more after your baby is born. I had multiple moms tell me that they didn’t get postpartum depression until after their baby was over a year old. You always need to be aware of how you are doing and take care of yourself, too.

9. Use the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Test. They usually give it to you at the hospital and your baby’s 2-week appointment, and I think again at your postpartum OB/GYN visit, but you should take it even after that, just to see how you are doing. It will help you see any red flags and notice things you might not otherwise. Print it out and keep it as a resource for yourself.

10. Try to avoid any triggers that cause you stress or anxiety. If you think having meals brought to your house will stress you out because you have to answer the door, arrange for freezer meals to be brought before your baby is born. If holding your baby causes you stress or anxiety, ask someone else (your husband or a close friend) to hold your baby. Breastfeeding might stress you out and make you feel depressed, and if that’s the case, it might not be for you. Bottles and formula exist for a reason and you definitely aren’t a bad mom for feeding your baby formula. Just know what triggers set you off and try to avoid them.

11. Dismiss people who belittle you or make you feel bad. Unfortunately, some people don’t understand or don’t accept postpartum depression as a real thing. And if someone is making you feel bad because you haven’t connected with your baby or you don’t want to go out for a girls’ night, dismiss them and move on. You don’t need anyone in your life who isn’t going to be on your side, and having them around will only make things worse.

12. Give your family permission to tell you if they see you exhibiting signs of postpartum depression. Sometimes you might not realize what is happening, but others close to you will. So before your baby is born, tell your husband or your mom or sister or whoever you are close to that if they see you acting depressed or withdrawing to let you know. Like I said, you never know if you are going to suffer from postpartum depression, and telling your family what the warning signs are and having them help you just in case is a good thing.

13. Postpartum depression can happen with adoptive mothers, too. I know this post is geared toward pregnant women, but if you happen to read this and are in the process of adoption, just be aware that you could get it, too. It never hurts to be prepared and informed.

14. If you are religious, turn to God through prayer, scripture-study, church worship, and relying on Jesus. I know this tip isn’t for everybody and I’m not saying that things will immediately get better, but it can help to be close to Christ and feel His love for you.

15. It can get better. Through small steps, you can fight and overcome postpartum depression. It’s not easy and it doesn’t happen overnight, but there is always hope and there are always people who will support you and lift you up. Don’t ever give up and don’t ever stop trying.

Postpartum depression is scary and it’s something so many mothers face. But you don’t have to face it alone, and knowing about it and knowing the warning signs and how to fight it before your baby is born can give you a head start if you do end up getting diagnosed with postpartum depression.

I want to give a special thanks to all the amazing mothers who reached out and helped me with this post. I couldn’t have written this without you, and I really hope this post can make a difference and help raise awareness of postpartum depression.

The post What Pregnant Women Need to Know About Postpartum Depression appeared first on Life With My Littles.