If you’ve lost yourself along the journey of motherhood, that’s okay. Part of self-care is taking care of ourselves as more than moms, but to do that, we need to remember who we are! Here are a few self-care ideas for finding yourself again!
When we have kids, motherhood often becomes what we identify with. Our kids become our whole world, and it makes sense that our #1 roles are as mothers. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But after a while, we can begin to lose ourselves in all the diapers and crustless sandwiches. We don’t set aside time for our own interests or our own learning. Part of being a mom involves putting others’ needs before ours, and we get so good at it that after a while, we don’t even know what our own needs are anymore. Who you used to be before having kids might not be who you are now, and that’s okay.
Several times when I’ve asked what people want to read about on my blog, I’ve gotten responses related to not losing yourself in motherhood and how to feel fulfilled in areas outside of motherhood. It’s pretty common that once we become moms, the person we once were fades into the background (but she doesn’t disappear!).
So how do you find yourself? And why am I including that in my self-care series?
I think finding yourself involves getting to know yourself again. I think it means taking time for yourself and remembering that you’re more than a mom. Being a mom is amazing, but it’s okay to want to be more, too.
I also think that doing things outside of motherhood is self-care because it truly involves taking care of yourself as a person. It’s you focusing on you, and that’s the basis of self-care.
You might be thinking that you don’t have time to find yourself right now. You might have a needy baby or a whiny toddler. Maybe you have a few kids at home and just don’t feel like you can spend time on yourself until all your kids are in school, which might be years away.
I promise that you don’t have to wait to rediscover who you are. You don’t even necessarily have to have time apart from your kids. You can find yourself whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom or whatever kind of mom you identify with. You can do it!
I will say that finding yourself isn’t something that just happens. Finding yourself requires extra effort and you do have to consciously work at it.
So, are you ready to put in the work? Are you ready to find yourself? Yes? Awesome! Here are a few self-care ideas for finding yourself.
Self-Care Ideas for Finding Yourself
If you have any interest in something, try it
Always wanted to learn to watercolor? Buy some paints and brushes and try it out. You can learn lots of things from watching YouTube videos. Have a secret desire to grow your own food? Start with a small patio garden and go from there.
If you have even just a small interest in trying something, just do it. Read a book, watch a video, listen to a podcast, or take a class. You may have a hidden talent just waiting to be discovered! And even if you end up not liking something, you’ll have learned a little more about who you are and what you like!
Make a plan to work towards your dreams
Your dream can be anything you want it to be, but if you don’t actually take steps to achieve it, your dream will always just be a dream. If you want something, take steps towards making it happen! Even if your plan just has a few steps, sit down and write it out. You’ll have more clarity and know what you need to do to accomplish your dream.
Think about what you’re good at and what you’re bad at
Then work on both things! Work on improving your skill level in things you’re good at and try to get better at things you’re bad at. Of course, if the things you’re bad at aren’t things you enjoy, don’t do them. But if they’re things you’d like to improve on, practice!
Plan something for yourself without worrying if your kids will like it
Too often as moms we plan our days around our kids. We go to playgrounds and McDonald’s and kids’ movies. So plan something for yourself! Regardless of if your kids will be in tow, pick something that you’re going to enjoy. Go to an art or history museum, see a play or a concert, make yourself lunch that involves more than just crusts from your child’s sandwich. Even if they don’t like what you do or prepare, you will, and that’s what matters when you’re trying to take care of the woman who is more than a mother.
Say yes to things you want to do
Another thing we do as moms is say no to things because we have kids, even if it’s something we want to do. So start saying yes! If you want to go see a movie with your friends after your kids are in bed, do it! Find a babysitter if your spouse won’t be home to sit with them while they sleep. Stop finding reasons not to do things and start living your life outside of motherhood!
Get your kids interested in things you’re interested in
One of the things I’m proudest of is that my kids like things that I like. Being a mom hasn’t taken away my love of Harry Potter or dinosaurs, and I’ve transferred that love to my kids now! Who cares if the things you like aren’t necessarily “kid things.” Kids can like things you like, too, as long as they’re not inappropriate. You don’t have to put your interests on hold or in the closet just because you have kids!
The whole point of this self-care for moms series is to remind you and motivate you to take care of yourself as an individual. You have needs and dreams and interests, and it’s just as important to satisfy those things now as it was before you became a mother.
If you’ve lost yourself along the way, that’s okay. It happens to the best of us. But decide today to start taking back what you’ve lost. Decide to find yourself again. Find joy, find fulfillment, find out who you are right now, and enjoy being that person! You’re amazing, mamas!