One thing that makes me uncomfortable is when other women talk about losing weight. I never know if I should smile and nod or deny that they do or agree that I need to, too. It makes me sad to hear other women talking about being unhappy with their bodies.

I understand where they’re coming from, having spent years battling eating disorders and body image issues. It’s easy to compare your body to another. It’s easy to talk negatively about your body and take healthy eating and exercise to an extreme.

I also fully understand that there’s a lot of pressure from the media and from our society to look a certain way. From a very early age, we’re taught that the ideal picture of beauty is tall and skinny, with big boobs, a thigh gap, and a toned butt, even if we rarely see all of those things naturally on one person. 

Having grown up with that mindset, it makes sense that after having a baby, women stress about their bodies and getting back down to their “pre-pregnancy weight.” 

I’ve done a lot of thinking about this, and want to emphasize how truly, painfully unhealthy it is to promote a culture where we use the term “baby weight” and encourage women to “get their bodies back” after childbirth. It’s unhealthy for new moms, it’s unhealthy for daughters quietly watching their moms, and it’s unhealthy for women watching each other. Nobody is winning.

Mamas, our bodies are freaking incredible. They heal themselves, they create tiny people, they feel, taste, smell, hear, and see, they grow and stretch with us throughout our lives, and I genuinely think they are a gift unlike any other. 

Tomorrow I turn 30, and I have never been so happy with my body exactly the way it is. That’s not because I’m at my thinnest or at my lowest weight, but because I have finally come to a place where I appreciate and respect my body. I am comfortable, content, and grateful. I love every stretch mark on my thighs and belly, my farmer’s tan, and how when I bend over, my stomach flaps over like jello spilling out of a bowl. It’s my body, and I love it. 

Again, it took me years to get to this place. I struggled throughout high school and college and after my first two kids were born. I was self-conscious about the way I looked in my clothes, I got on the scale multiple times a week, and I had a horrible relationship with food. I promise I know what it’s like. 

After finally getting to a place where I’m at peace with my body and I don’t worry about how much I weigh or if I lose or gain weight, I want to help other mamas get to this place, too. Think about the impact we could have on our families, friends, even society, if we all loved our bodies exactly the way they are right now.

Yeah, let that sink in for a minute.

I mean honestly, we could change the world.

And yes, it’s easier said than done. Loving your body doesn’t happen overnight and it’s definitely a journey with a lot of ups and downs. So why wait any longer? I propose starting today and using these six suggestions to help you work on loving your mom bod exactly the way it is right now.

How to Love Your Mom Bod

Look at yourself through your kids’ eyes.

Our kids think we are amazing. They don’t care whether we have makeup on and our hair is done, whether we have flabby arms, a round belly, or even if we are missing a leg. They just love us unconditionally. Physical appearance definitely doesn’t matter, or even cross their minds. So look at yourself through your kids’ eyes. There’s so much more to you than just the way you look, and you are incredible regardless of what you look like.

Ask yourself if you would want your child to say to themselves the things you say to yourself.

This one’s a biggie. You would never tell your daughter she was fat, so why do you say it to yourself? You would never tell your daughter that she needed to eat less or lose ten pounds, so why do you tell yourself those things? Some of the things we say to ourselves we would never say to our children (or anyone but ourselves). Give yourself a break and stop saying them to yourself! 

Ask yourself what you want your children to know.

If you could ensure that there was one thing they’d believe and know about their bodies as your children grew up, what would it be? I absolutely would want my kids to love their bodies, no matter what. When you love something, you take care of it, you treat it well, and you are kind to it. And if that’s what we want our kids to know, we need to start internalizing it ourselves so they can see that we believe and know it and learn from us. 

Think about all your body can do.

Our bodies breathe on their own, pump blood on their own, heal themselves without us having to think about it, and experience the world through incredible, beautiful senses. Not to mention that as women, we have the ability to grow and birth new, sweet little human beings, and then create milk to feed them! Sure, sometimes our bodies don’t work exactly the way they’re supposed to and we may not be able to have our own children or nurse our babies as long as we want, but we can still do so much more than that. Our bodies are freaking incredible, exactly the way they are right now. Your body is incredible, exactly as it is right now. 

Recognize that you won’t be happy with your body unless you decide to be happy with it. 

One of my favorite lady bosses is Alison Faulkner. On her podcast, she often says “It will never be enough until we decide it’s enough. Enough is a decision, not amount.” I absolutely think this applies to happiness with our bodies, too. We won’t ever be happy with our bodies unless we decide to be happy with them. If completely relaxing and letting go sounds hard, just start by trying it for a week. Don’t count calories or stress about exercise or even go shopping. Just eat in moderation, stay active, and be happy with where you are at. I’m not saying that you’ll lose or gain weight by doing this, but I am saying that you’ll feel healthier and won’t stress about what you’re eating or how many times you went to the gym last week. It’s freeing to decide that you are happy with your body, and it makes a huge difference in your mood, stress level, how you interact with people, and how you treat others and yourself. 

#WhyILoveMyMomBod

Our bodies, my body, YOUR BODY is amazing. We are all different and beautiful and wonderful and we are alive, creating, living, and enjoying life right now. Loving your mom body is a tough thing to do, no matter if you’re pregnant, a week postpartum, or five years postpartum. We’re all at different, wonderful stages and our bodies are all different shapes and sizes.

As I was working on this blog post, I was all fired up and I asked on Instagram if I should make a hashtag for people to join in. I don’t think it will really turn into a movement, but I’d love to share the message of this post and inspire other mamas to show off why they love their mom bod exactly the way it is right now!

If you want to join, post on Instagram using the hashtag #WhyILoveMyMomBod and share duh, why you love your mom bod! I’d love to highlight people and share as many as I can, so if you want to help spread positivity around body image, please join in!

You’ve got this, beautiful mamas! 

The post Loving Your Mom Bod #WhyILoveMyMomBod appeared first on Life With My Littles.

If you’re going to have the best year ever, you’ve got to start with one thing that all mamas struggle with: mom guilt.

We’ve all felt it. We tell ourselves we aren’t good enough, we’re not measuring up, we’re ruining our kids with all of our imperfections. Mom guilt weighs on us when we realize our kids haven’t had a single vegetable in three days, when we lose our temper and yell at our kids, when we go back to work and hire someone else to watch our babies during the day, and when we let our kids watch too much television. Stay-at-home moms feel it, moms with more than one kid feel it, working moms feel it. It means something different to everyone, but it’s so real. So real and so destructive.

Traditionally, people feel guilt when they do something wrong. You steal something, you feel guilty. You say something hurtful to someone, you feel guilty. You lie to get out of doing something, you feel guilty. The problem here is that 95% of the time we feel mom guilt, we’re not actually doing anything wrong.

It’s not wrong to give your child fast food or not to wash your hair for a week. It’s not wrong to leave dishes in the sink or to send your kid to school in pants they’ve already worn twice. It’s not wrong to let your kid watch a movie on TV so that you can clean the bathroom or take some time for yourself. It’s not wrong to work or stay home or feel overwhelmed by your children. You are not doing anything wrong.

So why do we feel mom guilt? Where does it come from? Why do we all go through periods where we feel it? And more importantly, how do we get rid of it?

We figure out what’s causing it.

As women, we are exceptionally hard on ourselves and kind to others. We lift others up but tear ourselves down. We think things look good on other people, but not on us. We see what we want to in other people and wish we had what they have. We hold ourselves up to an incredibly high standard, and when we of course can’t meet that unattainable standard (because nobody can), mom guilt sets in.

Perfection and comparison are at the root of mom guilt.

Did you miss that last bit? Let me say that again so it can really sink in.

Perfection and comparison are at the root of mom guilt.

We feel mom guilt because we see everything and everyone around us as better, more accomplished, more put-together, prettier, happier, more skilled, and then we compare ourselves to the best of everyone else, or who we “think” we should be. An impossible super mom who does it all, has it all, and never makes mistakes.

That’s where mom guilt comes from.

Think for a moment about something you feel mom guilt about. Think about the reason you feel that guilt. Is there a standard that you feel you just aren’t measuring up to? Are you doing something different from the way you think things “should” be done? Nobody has set that standard up except for yourself. And who gets to decide that there is one way things should be done? Nobody but you. It’s all in your head.

You’re not doing anything wrong, and therefore you have no reason to feel mom guilt other than for failing to meet some made up standard you created in your head.

Has mom guilt ever helped you? I’m willing to bet a pretty penny that it hasn’t. Mom guilt doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help us change and it doesn’t help us feel better.  And if you think about it, there’s nothing that you need to change except for your perspective.

If we change our perspective and recognize that nobody is perfect, including ourselves, we can stop the cycle of mom guilt. No mom is “better” and no child is the same, so we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to each other. We all have different strengths and more importantly, different weaknesses.

Mom guilt is a self-limiting belief, and when you let go of it, when you let go of that longing for perfection that has come from comparing yourself to others, you are free to be you, to parent your way, to raise your kids the way you think is best, and to begin living your best mom life.

You may not ever be a perfect parent, but you’re the perfect parent for your child. Your children were sent to your home because God, the Universe, or whatever higher-up you believe in knew you could handle them, that you were the only one in the whole world who could raise them. You were made for them and they were made for you. You are the perfect parent for your child, and despite all the mom guilt you feel, they see you in that perfect light.

Whether you’re breastfeeding or formula feeding your baby, working or staying at home, head of the PTO or have never stepped foot inside your child’s classroom, feeding your baby greasy fries from McDonald’s or homemade, organically-grown-in-your-own-garden sweet potato fries, you’re doing a good job. You, reading this right now, are doing a good job.

Let go of that perfect, unattainable, impossible standard. You don’t need it. Stop comparing yourself to other people’s bests. Who cares what they’re doing. Stop with the mom guilt. You are incredible, wonderful, and amazing, and you are doing a good job.

Mama, you’ve got this.

If you liked this post, check out the rest of the posts in my New Year, New Mama series here!

How to Start Living Your Best Mom Life

Finding Balance in Motherhood

Getting Things Done and Staying On Top of Your Schedule

Getting (and Staying) Organized

Taking Time for Yourself

Becoming a Fun Mom

Time to Make Some Changes

The post New Year, New Mama: Say Goodbye to Mom Guilt appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Dear Mama,

This one’s for you. You who may have given up on herself. You who may feel overwhelmed. You who may feel unappreciated. You who may be struggling. This post is for you.

I give you permission to do the following:

To want to improve yourself. For the last few years, you’ve been making every effort to help your children be their best selves. You may have been using all your energy and time helping them be good little humans and ignoring or postponing a desire to improve yourself. Even worse, you may feel guilty about wanting to improve yourself. You are absolutely allowed to want to improve yourself. Train for a marathon (or even a 5K), learn a new skill, pick up a new instrument, or even just finish that book you’ve always wanted to read. You have permission to want to improve yourself.

To have a life outside of motherhood. Motherhood is deep within us, but it is not the only thing that defines us. We all need adult friends and hobbies and things we enjoy doing that don’t involve our kids. You are more than “just a mom“. Take advantage of nap time, quiet time, bed time. Motherhood is exhausting, but you need to take care of yourself, too. I know it can be hard to ask your husband to put the kids to bed so you can have a night out, but you should absolutely not feel guilty about that. You have permission to have a life outside of motherhood.

To feel overwhelmed. Oftentimes we feel like we should be able to handle all that we have on our plate. We feel like we shouldn’t be stressed out because other people have it so much harder. We feel bad about ourselves for feeling like we just want to hide in the bathroom and lock the door. DON’T! Girl, feeling overwhelmed is sometimes part of motherhood. It’s part of life! It’s hard to not feel overwhelmed when your baby screams every time you pick him up so you have dishes and laundry piled up, or when your toddler has pooped his pants for the third time and you feel like he’ll never potty train. It’s hard to not feel overwhelmed when you send your child to school and they come home with new problems and new challenges that you have no idea how to face. Don’t feel guilty about it or like you have to immediately rid yourself of that feeling. Every mama who has ever lived has felt the same way. You have permission to feel overwhelmed.

To dream. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams. You may have to adjust your plans or your dreams may take a little longer to achieve, but don’t ever stop dreaming. It’s okay if your dreams change, but mamas are allowed to dream and want more for themselves and their families, too. Having kids isn’t the end of your life; it’s the beginning of a new one. You have permission to dream.

To experience new things. Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you can’t be adventurous and wild. Try skydiving or learn to waterski or eat at a fancy restaurant or dye your hair pink! You don’t have to stop having fun and trying new things just because you’re someone’s mother. You have permission to experience new things.

To parent differently. We all come from different backgrounds and live in different places and have experienced different things. We all have different viewpoints and will look at situations in unique ways. We’re all going to approach parenting differently, and that’s okay! You don’t have to parent the same way your best friend or the girl down the street does, or even the way your parents did.  You have permission to parent differently.

To do what works for you and your kids. No two mamas are the same, and no two kids are the same. Just because one parent puts her kids to bed at 7 every night doesn’t mean that’s what’s best for your kids. You shouldn’t stress about trying to do everything “perfectly” because in reality, there’s no such thing. You are the only one who can decide what works for you and your kids, and that might not include going all-natural or eating a home-cooked meal every single night. You have permission to do what works for you and your kids.

To ignore any judgment or criticism or advice. No matter how hard we try not to, we all can get a little judgy at times. And sometimes we just can’t shut our mouths. Parents get a lot of unwarranted advice (especially new parents), and oftentimes it’s not helpful in the slightest. Ignore any judgment from someone who knows you or doesn’t know you, any criticism from anyone who might in fact be jealous or not understand your situation, or advice from well-meaning, grandmotherly women at the store. You have permission to ignore and judgment or criticism or advice.

To feel everything. Motherhood is the biggest roller coaster I’ve ever been on (and I’ve been on some that have made me black out). You’re going to feel the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. It’s beautiful and awful and we can’t choose which parts we get to experience. So of course you’re going to feel an incredibly wide range of emotions in the process! You shouldn’t ever feel bad about yourself for having feelings, even if they aren’t typically “good” emotions. Emotions are all natural and you’re allowed to feel each and every one. As long as you don’t wallow or feel like you’re in too deep, it’s okay. You have permission to feel everything.

To be yourself. Whether you’ve been a mom for a few weeks or fifteen years, sometimes you’re going to lose yourself. You’re going to spend all your time worrying about your kids, packing lunches, nursing, changing diapers, signing forms, driving kids around, and making meals that your kids will like but still resemble something healthy. You can lose yourself in the trenches, and it’s hard to find yourself again. But you should, you have to, you need to find yourself and remember who you are. You shouldn’t try to be someone else who looks like they’re killing it on Instagram, or try to be like the room mom who bakes and decorates 25 intricate, personalized royal icing cookies. That might not be you, and they’ve got their own problems going on. Don’t worry about them, and try to remember what makes you you. You have permission to be yourself.

To make mistakes. Something I’ve noticed about kids is that they see us at our worst and then the next day they act like it never happened. I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a mother, and I know I’ll continue to make mistakes as my kids get older and we face new obstacles together. But kids are forgiving and all the love we show them the rest of the time makes up for our slip-ups or outbursts. It’s good to let your kids see that you’re human because they’ll watch you pick yourself back up and fix your mistakes, and they’ll learn how to do it themselves. You have permission to make mistakes.

Mama, you’re doing a wonderful job. Motherhood is a confusing, complicated, tiring job, but it really is the best job in the world. And you have permission to do it however you want.

The post You Have Permission appeared first on Life With My Littles.

They often say “it takes a village to raise a child.”

Raising a child is a communal effort. It takes a lot of different people interacting, teaching, and supporting a child for them to grow into a good, productive, happy adult. Parents, grandparents, friends, and teachers all play a role in shaping and raising a child. It truly takes a village.

I’d also like to suggest that it takes a village to raise a mother.

We may add the job title of “mother” to our résumés when our first child joins our family, but all of the special skills and talents it takes to be a mother take years to develop.

Motherhood is a constant learning process, and in the same way a village raises a child, we need the influences of other mothers around us to help us grow and become successful moms. We truly raise each other.

There’s absolutely no way that we could become the moms our kids need on our own. Independently we all have different wisdom and strategies and ideas. We are all experts in different areas. Without sharing with each other, that knowledge doesn’t get used to its fullest.

We need each other. We need to learn from each other. We need to share with each other. And we need to support each other.

We need our friends, we need our family, we need our neighbors, we need strangers in the grocery store, we need healthcare professionals, we need fellow mamas in the trenches on internet message boards and Instagram, and we need moms who have been there to give us wanted and unwanted advice, to love us, and even just to nod their heads and say “I’ve been there, sister.”

And just like we need other moms, we need to be there for other moms, too. Any time we watch another mom’s kids so she can go somewhere by herself, any time we bring another mom a meal because she’s just had a baby, any time we smile at another mom in Target because her toddler is throwing a tantrum on the floor, any time we reach out to help, uplift, comfort, advise, or befriend, we are teaching each other to be mothers.

We pass on knowledge we learned when our children were babies to new moms and then we desperately seek tips from more seasoned moms when our children start elementary school, middle school, and high school. We share tips on what the best baby soap is and what high chair we liked the most. We ask for advice about what to do when your child calls you by your first name or says “I hate you” for the first time. We need every single point of view, even if we disagree, to be able to become the mothers we need to be for our children.

We may not ever achieve “perfect mother” status, but just by being our children’s mothers, we are the perfect mothers for our children.

It takes a village to raise a mother, and I’m so grateful for the village of fellow mothers still raising me.

The post It Takes a Village to Raise a Mother appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Before we even get pregnant, women get told that after having a baby, we have to lose the baby weight.

Think for a minute about how wrong that is.

Before we even get pregnant and experience all the ups and downs of pregnancy, it is drilled into our minds that as soon as pregnancy is over and we become mothers with endless responsibilities, we need to get back down to our pre-pregnancy weight.

Mamas, that is so wrong. It’s so wrong, so damaging, so ignorant, and so outrageous. Getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight, whether it’s a month after you have a baby or a few years later, should absolutely not be something causing you stress.

Pregnancy does a lot of crazy things to your body. It stretches you, it weighs you down, it scars you, it physically and sometimes emotionally hurts, and at the end of it all, your body does something you never in 1,000 years thought you could do. And the body changes don’t stop there. Motherhood also does a lot of crazy things to your body. It softens you, it strengthens you, it drains you, and it shapes you, both literally and figuratively.

Our bodies are absolutely incredible, inside and out, and the things we go through to bring children into this world and then raise them are nothing short of miraculous.

So why in the world do we worry about such a stupid thing as a number on a scale? Why do we put so much pressure on that number that it can literally cause women to break?

Now I know you might be thinking, “But Chelsea, it’s easy for you to say this because you’re thin. You don’t know what it’s like to be big.”

Just because someone is thin, doesn’t mean they haven’t struggled with their weight. Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a tall girl with a high metabolism. From the time she was little, she heard women talk about things they needed to change on their bodies and saw images of women in the media who were stick-thin and “beautiful.” As she got older, she thought she needed to be those things, too. So she skipped meals and ate as little as she could, and when she ate a normal, healthy meal, she would hide in the bathroom afterwards and throw it up. When she gave modeling a try, an agent told her she needed to lose a few more inches around her waist if she wanted to get hired for jobs. The idea of stick-thin beauty had become so ingrained in her mind that even though she was already underweight, she looked in the mirror and didn’t think she was skinny enough. This continued for several years off and on until she got pregnant with her first baby. She realized the impact her actions could have, and she was finally able to stop the cycle. It took several years after that until she finally got to a place that she could see the role her damaging self-talk and beliefs about beauty had played in her life, and then several more years to really accept, take care of, and love the body she had been given.

I don’t want this to be your story. I don’t want this to be my daughter’s story. I wish this wasn’t my story.

So today, right now, I’m telling you that the number on the scale is not important. It’s not important before you get pregnant, it’s not important while you’re pregnant, and it’s definitely not important in those difficult postpartum days. It’s not important when your baby is 1 or 5 or 10. Your weight is not important.

What is important is how you feel; how you feel in your body, regardless of what other people might think. It might take a while to figure out how to feel good about your body, but you can 100% get there. You’re never going to be happy with your body unless you decide to be happy with your body. Let me repeat that. YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR BODY UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR BODY. You need to decide today, right now, to love and take care of your body. Mamas, we have AMAZING bodies. We have the magnificent ability to create life and bring it into this world. Your weight doesn’t make you beautiful the same way being rich doesn’t make you happy. There’s no one form of beauty, and we are all beautiful if we choose to believe it.

What we believe about our bodies, whether we say it out loud or not, is contagious, and whether you’re passing it on to your children, a friend, or even a stranger, people will notice and internalize it. But that’s not the point of this post. I don’t care what other people think about my body, and neither should you. The point of this post is that I’m no longer concerned with getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and you shouldn’t be either.

Honestly, the last time I got on the scale was at the doctor, and our scale at home is collecting dust in the bathroom closet because I don’t care what the number says anymore.

All that matters is how I feel, and I can choose to feel good about it and love it and embrace every stretch mark and scar, or I can choose to put myself down and want to change my body and how I look. We have that choice. And judging your current body by your pre-pregnancy weight is an absolute joke.

After all, motherhood makes you stronger, and muscle weights more than fat, right?

The post Why I’m No Longer Concerned with Getting Back to My Pre-Pregnancy Weight appeared first on Life With My Littles.

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a few months, but every time I sit down to write it, the words don’t come. It’s such a huge, weighty topic, and one that I worry about every day. I want to do this topic justice because it matters to me, and it’s a huge problem among girls and women in our society. This post has also been hard to write because loving my body is something I still have to consciously decide every day. It’s not something that comes naturally, and that’s hard to admit to myself, let alone anyone else.

Growing up, I was tall and skinny, but had very low self-confidence. I struggled with different eating disorders all through high school, and even into college. I tried out modeling my sophomore year of high school, and I remember one incident when someone told me I needed to lose one or two more inches around my waist. I quit after that, but internalized what that person had said. I didn’t ever feel comfortable in my body, and I didn’t take care of it the way I should have.

We live in a world where the media tells us that there’s only one version of beauty. The picture of beauty we idealize is tall and skinny, with big boobs, a thigh gap, and a toned butt. We’re taught by example that showing off your body by wearing tight, skimpy clothes is how you gain attention and affection, and that by covering up and dressing modestly is old-fashioned and unattractive.

It hasn’t been until recently, after having three kids of my own, that I’ve started to appreciate and respect my body. I’ve started to realize that my body is incredible and it’s amazing all that it does for me. My body grew three tiny little people inside of it, and I am eternally grateful. Yes, I have some stretch marks and a little bit of a muffin top in my belly area, but they are part of the only body I’m going to get, and it’s not fair for me to compare my belly to a belly in a swimsuit ad that has been airbrushed and starved and sucked in.

Now that I have a daughter, I’ve realized the impact that my perception of my body will have on her and her perception of her body. Kids are very aware of what we do, and I don’t want my daughter to subconsciously learn that you’re not supposed to like your body. I want her to learn how much I love my body and take care of it, so that she’ll want to do the same.

Here’s how I am teaching my daughter to love her body every single day:

• I love my own body so that she has a positive example of self-love and self-care.
• I teach my daughter healthy habits like eating a variety of fruits and vegetables, as well as exercising regularly and staying active.
• I don’t say negative things about my appearance, or my daughter’s appearance.
• I teach my daughter that there are lots of different forms of physical beauty, and that just because someone is a different color or size doesn’t mean they aren’t beautiful. One tool we use for this is playing with the Barbie Fashionistas line. Each doll is different and they are all gorgeous!
• I don’t ever comment on people’s sizes, my daughter’s size, or my size. We don’t use the words “skinny” or “fat” in our home because I don’t think they help anyone.
• I am teaching my daughter what beauty really is. Beauty is more than just a physical thing. Beauty can be the kindness shown by a grocery store clerk, the joy of fresh garden peas and carrots, or the way you feel after making it through something hard. Beauty is all around us in all different forms, and it’s a feeling more than anything else.

I’m teaching my daughter to love her body by loving my body myself. I would never say anything bad to my daughter about her body, so I need to stop saying bad things to myself about my own body. I’m still working on it, but I’m no longer concerned with losing any weight. How I feel in my body is more important than any number on a scale, and that’s my choice. I’m not ever going to be happy with my body unless I decide to be happy with my body.

We can teach our daughters to love their bodies by loving our own, being positive, teaching healthy habits, being good examples, and showing them that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

Think about what our daughters could do if they were the most self-confident generation of girls yet!

The post How I’m Teaching my Daughter to Love Her Body appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Remember how exciting bra shopping was as a teenager? It seemed so adventurous and almost a little risqué. So many styles, so many different colors. Lacy bras, push-up bras, strapless bras, and even bras that zipped in the front. There were so many options and it felt like each one could transform you into a new, more empowered woman.

Flash forward to a few weeks ago. A store at the mall was having their annual sale and I thought I would venture in to get a bra that actually fit. And by a bra that actually fit, I mean an A cup bra, because my B cup bra is basically empty now that I’ve stopped breastfeeding.

I walked into the store and was surrounded by gorgeous young women with their gorgeous young friends picking out skimpy lacy bras in bright neon colors and sexy push-up bras that are very obviously meant to impress someone else. I cautiously approached one of the bins marked 34A, trying to hide the size from the group of women next to me. I dug through the bin for a minute, became incredibly self-conscious and overwhelmed by a need to explain why I had to look in the bin meant for thirteen-year-olds, and before I knew what was happening, I was walking out of the store, empty-handed.

It was humiliating.

Growing up, my little sister nicknamed me “Tiny.” I’m almost 5′ 10″, so you know the nickname didn’t come from my height. Two years my junior, she was much more well-endowed than I was, so she had every right to call me that. And when I was pregnant, I barely fit into a C cup bra. A mere few days after I was done nursing, my boobs seemed to vanish in a mysterious magic act, as if they had never even existed.

Which is why I found myself venturing into the aforementioned bra store. I didn’t need something provocative or colorful or with a fancy closure in the front. I was hoping to find something neutral and snug and with a little bit of a lift that will remind me I’m an adult woman and not a pre-pubescent teenage girl. What I found instead was shame.

I know I shouldn’t compare my body to those gorgeous young women’s bodies, because I’ve birthed and nursed three healthy babies, and my body is a boss. And yes, I’m confident and I have grown to love my body as I’ve gotten older. But that doesn’t make it any less humiliating to have to shop for smaller bras than the girls who babysit my kids on date night.

So next time you go to the mall, if you happen to see an almost flat-chested someone with a paper bag on her head sorting through the 34A bin, don’t be alarmed. It’s just me and my deflated boobs.

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Last year I attended one of my best friends from high school’s wedding. A lot of other friends from high school were there, and I was the only one of my group of friends who had kids yet. My five-month-old son was still nursing, so I brought him with us, and a lot of people commented on how cute he was.

Instead of saying thank you or agreeing, most of the time my response was “You can have him if you want!”

After the wedding, I got to thinking about how I had replied. The wedding wasn’t the first time that I had responded to comments about my kids like that.

I have three kids under six, and people often come up to us at the store or at the park and say, “You’ve got your hands full” or “You must be so busy!” I usually smile and respond with a weary “Yes, I do” or “Yes, I am.”

It’s true that I do have my hands full with three kids at home, and busy is definitely a word I would use to describe my life right now. The problem is that instead of making motherhood seem like a good thing, I usually reply like it’s a bad thing.

Why do we as moms bad mouth motherhood so much? Why do we talk badly on such an incredible thing that fills us with joy and gives us meaning in our lives?

Motherhood can sometimes be hard and overwhelming and exhausting, but we forget to talk about how amazing and great motherhood is, too! Motherhood is such a beautiful gift, and I think a lot of the time we get down on it and don’t talk about how wonderful it is. Why do we emphasize the frustrating, messy, tiring parts of motherhood instead of the joyful, heartwarming, hilarious parts?

I think it’s okay to complain about how hard it is sometimes, but when that complaining takes over and is all we do, it can be hurtful not only for us and our children, but to other people around us as well.

While there have been times that I have groaned and questioned in exasperation “Why did we have kids?” I have honestly never regretted having my children. Motherhood is constantly challenging me in ways nothing else does, but it’s also the most rewarding thing I’ve ever been blessed to do.

I might not love wiping boogers, but I love that I’m the one that gets to wipe my kids’ boogers and nobody else. I might not love that my kids cry like the world is ending when they get a tiny scratch, but I love that I’m the one they run to and ask for a bandage and a kiss. I might not love making meals that don’t get eaten, but I love that I’m the one making meals for them.

I love the ups and the downs, because in those moments I see who my children are becoming, and how important my role is in their lives. These tiny, loud, adorable people that are the best parts of me and my husband all squished together. It’s incredible!

Instead of talking down motherhood, we should be talking it up. We should be talking about how fun and exciting it is. Being a mom is the best job I’ve ever had, and I want to let everyone know how great it is so they want to do it, too.

Yes, I am busy, but I’m the good kind of busy. Yes, my hands are full, but my heart is full, too. Being a mom is the best job in the world, and we should make it sound that way.

The post Why Do We Bad Mouth Motherhood? appeared first on Life With My Littles.

Since our first baby was born four years ago, our family has lived in four states. We’ve met lots of new people, made lots of new friends, and had to introduce ourselves way too many times to count.

One question that always comes up when we move somewhere new is, “What does your husband do?” It’s a perfectly normal question, and I don’t take any offense that people always ask.

But only once out of all the times we have moved and all the people we’ve met have I been asked what I do.

As a mom with three small kids, people assume that I am “just a mom.” And that’s fine, because I am a mom. I stay at home with three kids under five and I feed, clothe, and wipe their bums all day long. I’m proud to be their mom, and I love this special job that I have. I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

But I want people to know that I am more than “just a mom.” And more importantly, as my daughter grows up, I want her to know that I am more than “just a mom.”

I have hobbies, talents, and a job I do from home that supports our family.

I like to cook, bake, try new recipes, and bring treats and meals to friends and neighbors.

I clean our house, do the laundry, and make sure our pantry and refrigerator are fully stocked with food.

I love to sew and paint and make things for our home that I can proudly display and say “I made that.”

I went to college, graduated with a Bachelor’s degree, and I am continually learning new things.

I love to read and write about pregnancy and parenting, and I have been pouring my heart into this blog for over four years to help financially support our family. It is a huge part of my life, and I want to share it with people I meet.

I have dreams, goals, and desires, and I am constantly working on different projects and multi-tasking to get everything done that I need and want to do.

I want my daughter to know that she can be anything she wants, and if that includes being a mom and a veterinarian, then she can absolutely do both. If she wants to stay at home and have ten kids, she can absolutely do that, too. I want her to know that every mother is so much more than “just a mom,” and we do each other a disservice by asking about what our spouses do instead of about each other’s hobbies, goals, and pursuits outside of motherhood.

We live in an amazing time where women can have children and work, whether it be at a job away from home or one she does from her computer in the living room. We can sell things we create online, sell things we are passionate about through social media, or do any other dang thing we please to help support our families.

I am more than “just a mom,” and without even knowing you, I know you are absolutely more than “just a mom.” Let’s stop pretending like we are just moms and start sharing our goals and dreams with each other. Because together, we can teach our daughters that they can be and do anything they want to.

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Sometimes you have days where everything your child does fills your heart with so much love and happiness that you want to cry and hold onto them forever so they can’t get any bigger. And sometimes you have days where your child pees on the comforter you just paid to dry clean and you think you’re going to lose your mind.

It’s okay if you don’t enjoy every moment of motherhood. I don’t think you’re supposed to. It’s the hardest job in the world, and it’s a 24/7 job that lasts your child’s whole life. Once you become a mother, you never stop being one, and just like anything in life, there are going to be good and bad mom days.

From the moment you find out you’re pregnant, you’re going to have good and bad mom days. When you first read that positive pregnancy test you might be terrified, unsure of how you could possibly care for another human being. But you might also feel excitement at the idea of a tiny little life growing inside of you that you’ll get to cuddle one day.

When your baby is a newborn you might have days where you don’t shower, don’t get dressed, and don’t even leave the house. You might forget to change your baby’s diaper before leaving, or you might forget to put mittens on his little hands and he might claw his perfect face. But there will also be days when you realize the significance of what you’re doing, and how you are bonding with that tiny, stinky person every time you hold him.

Toddlers are a whole different story, and believe me, I’ve had my fair share of bad mom days with my toddlers. The day my son peed his pants on our new friends’ carpet the first time we went to their house was definitely one of them. Some days I can’t do anything but wait until my husband gets home so I can pee without little hands rattling the doorknob and asking what I’m doing. But some days we play all day, read lots of books, and learn about how plants need sun and water to grow. And those days make the bad ones bearable.

I know as my kids grow up I’m going to have hundreds of bad mom days and hundreds of good mom days. That’s part of the unpredictability of being a parent. But I also know that the good mom days are going to outweigh the bad mom days more than 1,000 times. Every day you face something new and are tested to see how you will handle it. And every day you grow and figure out this mom thing a little more.

I love the chance I have to experience the bad mom days along with the good mom days because what it really comes down to is that I get to experience being a mom and having my own children, and that is a gift beyond compare. Sure, being a mom is hard and some days I find boogers on my clothes and get to clean barf out of the carpet, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s not just my job, it’s my dream.

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