Moms carry a lot of weight on their shoulders, and when times get tough, it can seem impossible to go on. Here’s some great advice to moms who are barely surviving, including how to keep going one day at a time and how to give yourself grace in a tough time.
As much as I try to keep it positive on here, I also fully acknowledge that sometimes things are heavy.
Sometimes, it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning.
Sometimes, it’s hard to be around your kids.
Sometimes, mothering feels impossible.
But motherhood is a full time job. No sick days, no personal days. Even when things are dark and all you want to do is lay on the floor and do nothing, we pick ourselves up and keep going.
You may have noticed (or not, that’s cool, too), that I’ve been kind of MIA lately. My “normal” posting schedule is once a week, and over the last few months, it’s averaged one every month or two. In the last two months, I’ve only posted twice to Instagram.
Besides the ‘rona screwing everything up in the world, homeschool has been taking up all my mental energy, and on top of that, we’ve been going through a lot of personal stuff. Let’s just say that I’ve been barely surviving. It’s been hard to do the regular things, and my motivation to do anything other than the bare minimum has been zero.
I know I’m not alone, because this last year has been hard on everyone.
Thankfully, things have been starting to turn around for me personally, but I know that’s not everyone’s situation. I know that so many mamas out there are still barely surviving. And now that I’m starting to come out the other side, I can look back and see what was most important for me in getting through that tough period.
Here’s some advice for moms who are barely surviving:
First, give yourself grace.
This is one of the biggest pieces of advice for moms who are barely surviving.
We are living through a freaking pandemic, facing things we never, in our wildest dreams, thought would happen. Wearing masks everywhere, distance learning, not being able to go to our favorite outing spots like we used to, and even having a hard time finding simple things like hand soap in the grocery store.
And even though things are getting a little better now that there’s a vaccine and kids are mostly back in school, and even if you’re reading this a few years in the future and you’re facing completely different obstacles, it’s important to remember that things aren’t always going to be easy and you’re not going to be able to go 100% all the time.
When things are hard, it’s okay to drop a couple things and change your priorities.
It’s okay to spend some extra time in bed.
It’s okay to wear sweatpants every day.
It’s okay to have that extra soda or cup of coffee.
Sometimes we do what we have to to get through difficult times, and that might include getting takeout more often or having a messier house. Those things are okay, mamas!
Give yourself grace and remember that it’s not going to last forever.
Second, take things one day at a time.
This was basically my motto for the last six months. Everything about life lately has been so heavy, for me personally and in the world around us. It can be hard to have a forward-thinking attitude when you don’t even know where you’ll be at in a month or two.
Just take things one day at a time, take one step at a time, and try not to worry too much about the future. Sometimes all you can do is tackle one day at a time. Sometimes it’s too much to try and think about the future, because you have no idea what it might look like. That’s okay! Feel those feelings and just focus on one day at a time. It’s hard, but if you break it down and just focus on the here and now, it will be a little easier.
Then, at a certain point, you’ll be able to pick yourself back up again.
You may not know when that’s going to be, but when it happens, you’ll know. At a certain point, you’ll know it’s time and you’ll have the capacity to take the next step.
You’ll start putting real pants on again, eating vegetables again, and doing more than just binge-watch your comfort shows on TV. It’s not a bad thing to do all those things, but when that’s all you’ve been about for a year, it may be time to start moving forward again.
And when you do start to pull yourself back together, it’s also important to do it one step at a time. Start small and incorporate little changes so you don’t get overwhelmed and go backwards. For me, this looks like getting back into work a little bit at a time, buying less junk food, and going for walks outside or on the treadmill.
It will look different for everyone, but when it’s time, you’ll be able to do get back on top, and you’ll be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it’s still a ways away.
Mamas, we are strong. Women can do anything, and we have so much strength inside us, even if for a while it seems hidden. The hard times won’t last forever, and we’ll come out tougher and more resilient. One day you’ll be the one sharing advice for moms who are barely surviving!
You’ve got this, mama!