Comments on: Why You Should Never Ask Someone When They Are Going to Have Kids

By: Chelsea Johnson

Chelsea Johnson — Sat, 03 Nov 2018 04:02:46 +0000

In reply to Stephanie. I'm so sorry, Stephanie! It really is such a hard, difficult thing to go through. I hope you're able to stay positive and grow your family soon!

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Fri, 02 Nov 2018 17:07:32 +0000

This is EVERYTHING I feel. You expressed EXACTLY how I feel every month. We have been trying for 14 months and I feel this exact way. I am excited and hopeful and then I get my period and I cry and feel like I will never know what it is to be pregnant. Then I go through a “I will be ok phase” then I get another chance to try and the cycle starts over. Its nice to know Im not alone. Thank you for writing this.

By: Chelsea Johnson

Chelsea Johnson — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 18:14:56 +0000

In reply to Ruth. Oh wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! People really just don't think. Infertility isn't talked about as much as it needs to be, especially because it's so common. People have no idea how many people experience miscarriages, and they have no right to judge people even if someone just decides not to have kids yet!

By: Ruth

Ruth — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 08:00:36 +0000

I think this is one area where being a member of the Church can really suck. We were married for two years before we got to the point where you typically start telling people about a pregnancy. I can remember the most hurtful thing anyone ever said to me was ‘you’ve been married for more than a year now and you don’t have kids. Don’t you think you should have some, or you’ll be a really bad member’ or something to that effect. I was recovering from a miscarriage at the time.

By: Chelsea Johnson

Chelsea Johnson — Thu, 03 Dec 2015 03:35:13 +0000

In reply to Kristian. I'm so sorry, that is awful. People say things they definitely shouldn't. I hope you find a new dream :)

By: Kristian

Kristian — Thu, 03 Dec 2015 02:47:14 +0000

I tried on and off for close to 6 years. Every time I went to the doctor and had tests done, something always came up. My brother was terminally from muscular Dystrophy and at 19 he passed away recently. I said all of that because he was the reason I wanted children so badly. I knew 7 years ago when I got married that I wanted him to see his nieces or nephews and it didn’t happen. Right after he passed people were saying I would get pregnant now that he’s gone. Like that would make everything better? I’ve given up on the dream of having children. I’m picking up the pieces and trying to find a new dream.it really hurts when people ask me now when I’m having kids.

By: Chelsea Johnson

Chelsea Johnson — Thu, 20 Aug 2015 01:28:35 +0000

In reply to Matt. Thank you! Yes! Just because you're a man doesn't mean it might not hurt to hear that question, too!

By: Matt

Matt — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 14:08:49 +0000

Couldn’t agree more with this… If people could stop asking the men too, that’d be just awesome *wink*

By: Chelsea Johnson

Chelsea Johnson — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:57:27 +0000

In reply to Julia K. Thanks for the comments, Julia! I think the most important thing we can do to stop people from asking this question is to share messages like this. Maybe post it to your Facebook so your family can see, or even casually bring it up in a conversation. Maybe try getting one of your other close family members to tell the ones who are asking you to stop it. If you're brave enough to say it yourself, then go for it. There are several ways to share the message, it just depends on your preference!

By: Julia K

Julia K — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 13:45:03 +0000

Is there a creative way to put people on their place without being rude? I want them to stop asking and for them to realize that it is not ok to comment on stuff like that. Any suggestions would be appreciated since I am not a diplomatic type and completely out of ideas.